Re: [6tisch] Barry Leiba's No Objection on draft-ietf-6tisch-enrollment-enhanced-beacon-09: (with COMMENT)

Michael Richardson <mcr+ietf@sandelman.ca> Fri, 14 February 2020 20:21 UTC

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From: Michael Richardson <mcr+ietf@sandelman.ca>
To: Barry Leiba <barryleiba@computer.org>, 6tisch@ietf.org
cc: "The IESG" <iesg@ietf.org>, draft-ietf-6tisch-enrollment-enhanced-beacon@ietf.org, Pascal Thubert <pthubert@cisco.com>, 6tisch-chairs@ietf.org
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Comments: In-reply-to Barry Leiba via Datatracker <noreply@ietf.org> message dated "Tue, 11 Feb 2020 22:12:11 -0800."
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Date: Fri, 14 Feb 2020 21:21:19 +0100
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Subject: Re: [6tisch] Barry Leiba's No Objection on draft-ietf-6tisch-enrollment-enhanced-beacon-09: (with COMMENT)
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Help needed from WG.

Barry Leiba via Datatracker <noreply@ietf.org> wrote:
    > ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    > COMMENT:
    > ----------------------------------------------------------------------

    > — Section 1.2 —

    >    The EB is used by nodes already part of a TSCH network to annouce
    > its existence.

    > I can’t figure out the antecedent to “its”.  Can you rephrase this
    > sentence to make it clearer?

It has been changed to "their", but that doesn't help you much.
I'm not exactly sure what to do here, so I'm asking the mailing list.

The EB announces the existence of both:
    - the nodes already joined
    - the TSCH network

I will post a new version without a fix here.
It's out as -11.

    >    There is a limited number of timeslots designated as a broadcast
    > slot by each router in the network.

    > While “a limited number” looks as if it should be singular, it is
    > generally considered plural in usage and needs “are”, not “is” (and the
    > plural “broadcast slots”).  This is a tricky one...

okay, this already fixed, found by other reviewers.

    > You should also get rid of the “/s” later in the paragraph.

I'm saying, "1 slot per second". I shall write that out?


    > — Section 1.3 —

    >    if a pledge node does not hear an RA, and decides to send a RS

    > You should be consistent in use of “a” or “an”, and I think “an” works
    > better.

Fixed.

    > In the numbered list, each item is a complete sentence and should start
    > with a capital letter.  You also should fix the sentence capitalization
    > throughout Section 2.

Yeah.  In the markdown, it looks weird, but I take your point.

    >    This document defines a new IETF IE subtype

    > Please expand “IE” here.

okay,
BTW: actually the registry is called: "IEEE Std 802.15.4 IETF IE Subtype IDs".
I wonder if it should have been expanded in the registry :-)

    > — Section 3 —

    >    The Enhanced Beagon

    > Typo...

Yup. fixed.

    >    validate the beacon, providing them with a trusted
    > The end of that sentence is missing.

Sorry, the result of a previous edit, now removed.

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