Re: [6tisch] [Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-6tisch-enrollment-enhanced-beacon-06

Alissa Cooper <alissa@cooperw.in> Wed, 19 February 2020 21:19 UTC

Return-Path: <alissa@cooperw.in>
X-Original-To: 6tisch@ietfa.amsl.com
Delivered-To: 6tisch@ietfa.amsl.com
Received: from localhost (localhost [127.0.0.1]) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id 5495A1207FE; Wed, 19 Feb 2020 13:19:24 -0800 (PST)
X-Virus-Scanned: amavisd-new at amsl.com
X-Spam-Flag: NO
X-Spam-Score: -2.701
X-Spam-Level:
X-Spam-Status: No, score=-2.701 tagged_above=-999 required=5 tests=[BAYES_00=-1.9, DKIM_SIGNED=0.1, DKIM_VALID=-0.1, DKIM_VALID_AU=-0.1, RCVD_IN_DNSWL_LOW=-0.7, SPF_PASS=-0.001] autolearn=ham autolearn_force=no
Authentication-Results: ietfa.amsl.com (amavisd-new); dkim=pass (2048-bit key) header.d=cooperw.in header.b=CXwhaWkb; dkim=pass (2048-bit key) header.d=messagingengine.com header.b=E38Ys3tx
Received: from mail.ietf.org ([4.31.198.44]) by localhost (ietfa.amsl.com [127.0.0.1]) (amavisd-new, port 10024) with ESMTP id czFQvd3aRVzM; Wed, 19 Feb 2020 13:19:21 -0800 (PST)
Received: from wout2-smtp.messagingengine.com (wout2-smtp.messagingengine.com [64.147.123.25]) (using TLSv1.2 with cipher AECDH-AES256-SHA (256/256 bits)) (No client certificate requested) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTPS id 85238120128; Wed, 19 Feb 2020 13:19:18 -0800 (PST)
Received: from compute7.internal (compute7.nyi.internal [10.202.2.47]) by mailout.west.internal (Postfix) with ESMTP id 7CD9B4EC; Wed, 19 Feb 2020 16:19:17 -0500 (EST)
Received: from mailfrontend2 ([10.202.2.163]) by compute7.internal (MEProxy); Wed, 19 Feb 2020 16:19:17 -0500
DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed; d=cooperw.in; h= content-type:mime-version:subject:from:in-reply-to:date:cc :content-transfer-encoding:message-id:references:to; s=fm2; bh=l SqsdvHBilqQ1vyBhYC7hE9tJPNxBOPFojY8QWBTpj4=; b=CXwhaWkbD+gyARtp6 K6HwbwgnVWNXvNARWP+T5mJwMyAmGerS/u0xxam+9oE2Ofgqb5f+zcYgTvpzS8t6 NQf5hENwY68MEhwU6srG/uJpvaqnAOXgH3VNqD2aPMiLVeJNmZb3fFvbt26wnwcp C4fUeoNykruMkUqKrCy3qqnqjOSyb9BXQiTzHs9tMZP/xHVjr61wOHtMZuALz9wH n1IIDNvQ8p8ItVy9GqGsG+zQZ6az9LpfNuYRSQF4v0gZ056Pj7p7iHCNwhZ9e+Yz 0qxCD/TL+pySWTiLKo/Lj8jJgYT4Cc4Ykw27OeZHEX45PjY05aKAoHzRK4t2nm4Q nzxWg==
DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed; d= messagingengine.com; h=cc:content-transfer-encoding:content-type :date:from:in-reply-to:message-id:mime-version:references :subject:to:x-me-proxy:x-me-proxy:x-me-sender:x-me-sender :x-sasl-enc; s=fm2; bh=lSqsdvHBilqQ1vyBhYC7hE9tJPNxBOPFojY8QWBTp j4=; b=E38Ys3txwufHdeIVN/h865OQ84B1b3jTpu2jdQAkBVxJCY9vTqPXshiQ1 0XdYWtnRc3TB1vE4SZy/6nEriU5vxMVRDXtULSPp115wp2Bb+K50PuzoJFuMhrGa GOAELFMYvPo+IXJW5WQhqv+eSObw7KZDOHjGnsXzxXuzV2xnsJjtvnbC34z/BE49 sQAdkITkxDSNNmFBLyzqWN8hFCR0yOwq5BEgK8gPY0OJu3XDLMBPAlHgcAC9c/Rh dSD5nm3uoYqKfc9b6ApZQdlnAGsi81LpCqdLUqhC86E5oS9jgx7H00aHz3z+s496 6hQNulH7hvZsPtM4F3oGz0syPSRgw==
X-ME-Sender: <xms:VKZNXjtG9ZYoNHyMfIwCICBXKk3SsrH8dzeEMo-LAgMvLp0Hq_nGgw>
X-ME-Proxy-Cause: gggruggvucftvghtrhhoucdtuddrgedugedrkedtgddugeelucetufdoteggodetrfdotf fvucfrrhhofhhilhgvmecuhfgrshhtofgrihhlpdfqfgfvpdfurfetoffkrfgpnffqhgen uceurghilhhouhhtmecufedttdenucesvcftvggtihhpihgvnhhtshculddquddttddmne cujfgurheptggguffhjgffgffkfhfvofesthhqmhdthhdtjeenucfhrhhomheptehlihhs shgrucevohhophgvrhcuoegrlhhishhsrgestghoohhpvghrfidrihhnqeenucffohhmrg hinhepihgvthhfrdhorhhgnecukfhppedutdekrdehuddruddtuddrleeknecuvehluhhs thgvrhfuihiivgeptdenucfrrghrrghmpehmrghilhhfrhhomheprghlihhsshgrsegtoh hophgvrhifrdhinh
X-ME-Proxy: <xmx:VKZNXiT3C2U-01Qp9ejpNXgjxBIGDYeYQFy6qKZfTWHOhN-H1uGGOQ> <xmx:VKZNXhPIk4ASeeviUyCpsV01tZBP0mfqGbCD8fTE7ATmDGGk7ewb3g> <xmx:VKZNXvaPx75i8su5Fva787ZjXLbxdinzQMe7357-vXvUMmr3xNi_CA> <xmx:VaZNXnwAgLI6Y_v2kBoqGjpaAKm7gbW7N1ATPw_lXURg76kUnMf9Yw>
Received: from alcoop-m-c46z.fios-router.home (pool-108-51-101-98.washdc.fios.verizon.net [108.51.101.98]) by mail.messagingengine.com (Postfix) with ESMTPA id 75B263060F09; Wed, 19 Feb 2020 16:19:16 -0500 (EST)
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=utf-8
Mime-Version: 1.0 (Mac OS X Mail 11.5 \(3445.9.1\))
From: Alissa Cooper <alissa@cooperw.in>
In-Reply-To: <5CDE4FC7-BDEC-4A37-80E6-1C63BD8E77F1@cisco.com>
Date: Wed, 19 Feb 2020 16:19:15 -0500
Cc: Michael Richardson <mcr+ietf@sandelman.ca>, "last-call@ietf.org" <last-call@ietf.org>, "gen-art@ietf.org" <gen-art@ietf.org>, "6tisch@ietf.org" <6tisch@ietf.org>, "draft-ietf-6tisch-enrollment-enhanced-beacon.all@ietf.org" <draft-ietf-6tisch-enrollment-enhanced-beacon.all@ietf.org>
Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
Message-Id: <B88D341E-3F05-42C0-BBC2-8E8F56DA1F6E@cooperw.in>
References: <157913558775.22436.18264578512376938105@ietfa.amsl.com> <5113.1579222732@localhost> <5CDE4FC7-BDEC-4A37-80E6-1C63BD8E77F1@cisco.com>
To: "Tim Evens (tievens)" <tievens@cisco.com>
X-Mailer: Apple Mail (2.3445.9.1)
Archived-At: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/6tisch/YxTm3a_IM9bXwS3_SQ7h5C5A6Gw>
Subject: Re: [6tisch] [Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-6tisch-enrollment-enhanced-beacon-06
X-BeenThere: 6tisch@ietf.org
X-Mailman-Version: 2.1.29
Precedence: list
List-Id: "Discuss link layer model for Deterministic IPv6 over the TSCH mode of IEEE 802.15.4e, and impacts on RPL and 6LoWPAN such as resource allocation" <6tisch.ietf.org>
List-Unsubscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/options/6tisch>, <mailto:6tisch-request@ietf.org?subject=unsubscribe>
List-Archive: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/browse/6tisch/>
List-Post: <mailto:6tisch@ietf.org>
List-Help: <mailto:6tisch-request@ietf.org?subject=help>
List-Subscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/6tisch>, <mailto:6tisch-request@ietf.org?subject=subscribe>
X-List-Received-Date: Wed, 19 Feb 2020 21:19:25 -0000

Tim, thanks for your review. Michael, thanks for your response. I entered a DISCUSS ballot to check on the address generation mechanism for use with SLAAC.

Best,
Alissa


> On Jan 16, 2020, at 8:21 PM, Tim Evens (tievens) <tievens@cisco.com> wrote:
> 
> Excellent, thanks! 
> 
> On 1/16/20, 5:03 PM, "Michael Richardson" <mcr+ietf@sandelman.ca> wrote:
> 
>    Tim Evens via Datatracker <noreply@ietf.org> wrote:
>> I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
>> Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
>> by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
>> like any other last call comments.
> 
>    Thank you.
> 
>> In section 1.2,
>> "These slots are rare, and with 10ms
>> slots, with a slot-frame length of 100, there may be only 1 slot/s
>> for the beacon."
> 
>> IMO, this could be reworded to increase clarity. For example, "Considering 10ms
>> slots and a slot-frame length of 100, these slots are rare and could result in
>> only 1 slot for a beacon."
> 
>    Reworded as you suggest:
> 
>     There is a limited number of timeslots designated as a broadcast slot by
>     each
>     -router in the network. These slots are rare, and with 10ms slots, with a
>     slot-frame length of
>     -100, there may be only 1 slot/s for the beacon.
>     +router in the network. Considering 10ms slots and a slot-frame length of
>     100,
>     +these slots are rare and could result in only 1 slot/s for a broadcast,
>     which
>     +needs to be used for the beacon.  Additional broadcasts for Router
>     +Advertisements, or Neighbor Discovery could even more scarce.
> 
>> In section 1.3,
>> "At layer 3, [RFC4861] defines a mechanism by which nodes learn about
>> routers by listening for multicasted Router Advertisements (RA)."
> 
>> Would it be possible to reword to not use "multicasted?"  For example,
>> "by receiving multicast Router Advertisements (RA)."
> 
>    done.
> 
>> "no RA is heard within a set time, then a Router Solicitation (RS) may
>> be multicast,"
> 
>> "may be sent as multicast" might be more clear.
> 
>    done.
> 
>> In section 2,
>> "proxy priority  this field indicates the willingness fo the sender to
>> act as join proxy.  Lower value indicates greater willingness"
> 
>> Typo "fo"
> 
>    fixed.
> 
>> IMO, it would be clearer if the field name in the protocol header
>> matches the description for it. For example, "Proxy priority (proxy prio)"
> 
>    okay.
> 
>> In Section 4,
>> "An interloper with a radio sniffer would be able to use the network
>> ID to map out the extend of the mesh network."
> 
>> extend or extent?
> 
>    extent, thank you catching that.
> 
>    All this in -07 about to be published.
> 
> 
> 
>    --
>    Michael Richardson <mcr+IETF@sandelman.ca>ca>, Sandelman Software Works
>     -= IPv6 IoT consulting =-
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _______________________________________________
> Gen-art mailing list
> Gen-art@ietf.org
> https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art