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Re: [6tisch] Barry Leiba's No Objection on draft-ietf-6tisch-enrollment-enhanced-beacon-09: (with COMMENT)

Barry Leiba <barryleiba@computer.org> Sat, 15 February 2020 05:22 UTC

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From: Barry Leiba <barryleiba@computer.org>
Date: Sat, 15 Feb 2020 00:22:04 -0500
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To: Michael Richardson <mcr+ietf@sandelman.ca>
Cc: 6tisch@ietf.org, Pascal Thubert <pthubert@cisco.com>, 6tisch-chairs@ietf.org, The IESG <iesg@ietf.org>, draft-ietf-6tisch-enrollment-enhanced-beacon@ietf.org
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Subject: Re: [6tisch] Barry Leiba's No Objection on draft-ietf-6tisch-enrollment-enhanced-beacon-09: (with COMMENT)
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>     > — Section 1.2 —
>
>     >    The EB is used by nodes already part of a TSCH network to annouce
>     > its existence.
>
>     > I can’t figure out the antecedent to “its”.  Can you rephrase this
>     > sentence to make it clearer?
>
> It has been changed to "their", but that doesn't help you much.
> I'm not exactly sure what to do here, so I'm asking the mailing list.
>
> The EB announces the existence of both:
>     - the nodes already joined
>     - the TSCH network

Ah, OK.  Maybe this, then?:

OLD
   The EB is used by nodes already part of a TSCH network to announce
   their existence.  Receiving an EB allows a Joining Node (pledge) to
   learn about the network and synchronize to it.
NEW
   An EB announces the existence of a TSCH network, and of the nodes
   already joined to that network.  Receiving an EB allows a Joining Node
   (pledge) to learn about the network and synchronize to it.
END

>     > You should also get rid of the “/s” later in the paragraph.
>
> I'm saying, "1 slot per second". I shall write that out?

Ahhhh... I hadn't picked that up at all.  Yes, the text in -11 works; thanks.

And thanks for the other changes as well.

Barry

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