[6tisch] Opsdir last call review of draft-ietf-6tisch-enrollment-enhanced-beacon-08

Qin Wu via Datatracker <noreply@ietf.org> Tue, 21 January 2020 13:12 UTC

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Date: Tue, 21 Jan 2020 05:12:34 -0800
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Subject: [6tisch] Opsdir last call review of draft-ietf-6tisch-enrollment-enhanced-beacon-08
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Reviewer: Qin Wu
Review result: Ready

I have reviewed this document as part of the Operational directorate's ongoing
effort to review all IETF documents being processed by the IESG.  These
comments were written with the intent of improving the operational aspects of
the IETF drafts. Comments that are not addressed in last call may be included
in AD reviews during the IESG review.  Document editors and WG chairs should
treat these comments just like any other last call comments.

This document extends IEEE 802.15.4 with 6TiSCH Join and Enrollment Information
for layer 2 synchronization and layer 3 synchronization. I think this document
is ready for publication.

Major issue:
Not found

Minor issue:
1.      Abstract
Is small details about 6TiSCH join and enrollment information? If yes, why not
document it explicitly? Also it will be great to clarify in the abstract why
6TiSCH join and enrollment information needs to be carried? For which purpose?
2 Section 1, 1st paragraph s/slot designated a broadcast slot/slot designated
as a broadcast slot 3.Section 1.2 2nd paragraph s/annouce/announce 4. Section
1.2, last paragraph is slot/s slot per second? Please make clear about this.
5.Section 3, 2nd paragraph s/Beagon/Beacon 6.Section 4 Should the last
paragraph be moved after the first sentence and before the second sentence in
the first paragraph? How DODAGID is related to network ID? Should you add
DODAGID as a new abbreviation or term? When Dogagid is hashed, how interloper
can use the network ID to map out the extend of mesh network? What do you mean
by the extend of the mesh network? s/ provides some cover the addresses used
within the network/ provides some cover for the addresses used within the
network.