[alto] Reviews on draft-gao-alto-fcs-02

Kai Gao <gaok12@mails.tsinghua.edu.cn> Tue, 27 June 2017 13:09 UTC

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From: Kai Gao <gaok12@mails.tsinghua.edu.cn>
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Date: Tue, 27 Jun 2017 21:09:38 +0800
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Subject: [alto] Reviews on draft-gao-alto-fcs-02
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Dear authors of draft-gao-alto-fcs,

I have roughly reviewed the latest FCS draft. Please see the comments below.



sX: section X
ppX: page X
pX: paragraph X
lX: line X

pp3, s1, p1
l2: scenario -> scenarios
l3-4: "... the P2P application ..." -> "... P2P applications ..."

pp3, s1
p2, l2: central -> centralized
p2 & p3: I think these two paragraphs can benefit from some restructuring to
make the motivations for flow-based query more explicit and also easier 
to read.

pp3, s1, p5
l1: consider -> describe
l3: schema -> schemas

pp4, s1, p1
l2: "... 5-tuples of ..." -> Use the explicit form of the 5-tuple: "... 
5-tuple <ip-protocol, ...>"
l6: "SHOULD support" -> "supports"
l7: "to satisfy" -> "and satisfies"

pp5, s3.1.2, p5
l4: "appeared" -> "appear"

pp6, s3.2
title: "Extend" -> "Extended"
p2, l2: "... to measure the cost" -> "... to specify the request"
p2, l3: "SHOULD" -> "MUST"
p2, l4: "be" -> "have"
p2, l5: "format" -> "formats"
p4, l2: Extra space after "TypedEndpointAddr"

pp6, s3.2.1, p1
l1: "contain" -> "can be"
l4: "specified" -> remove it.
l5: "be conflict" -> "conflict"
l6: "is conflict" -> "conflicts"

pp7, s3.2.3, p1: Use "Protocol" instead of "protocol" to make it 
explicit that
it represents the value contained in the query.

s3.3.1, p1, l1: Remove "then"
s3.3.2, p6, l4: "appeared" -> "appear"
s3.3.3, p1, l2: "exactly" -> "exactly the same"
s4, title: Example -> Examples

pp14, s4.2.3, p4, l3: "value types" -> "value type"

pp15, s4.2.5.1, p1, l5: ", the servers" -> ". The servers"

pp16, s4.2.5, p3, l3: "TypedHeadreField" -> "TypedHeaderField"