[alto] Review for draft-ietf-alto-performance-metrics-12

kaigao@scu.edu.cn Sat, 10 October 2020 07:24 UTC

Return-Path: <kaigao@scu.edu.cn>
X-Original-To: alto@ietfa.amsl.com
Delivered-To: alto@ietfa.amsl.com
Received: from localhost (localhost []) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id 40C123A09E0 for <alto@ietfa.amsl.com>; Sat, 10 Oct 2020 00:24:01 -0700 (PDT)
X-Virus-Scanned: amavisd-new at amsl.com
X-Spam-Flag: NO
X-Spam-Score: -1.897
X-Spam-Status: No, score=-1.897 tagged_above=-999 required=5 tests=[BAYES_00=-1.9, HTML_MESSAGE=0.001, RCVD_IN_DNSWL_NONE=-0.0001, RCVD_IN_MSPIKE_H3=0.001, RCVD_IN_MSPIKE_WL=0.001, SPF_HELO_NONE=0.001, SPF_PASS=-0.001] autolearn=ham autolearn_force=no
Received: from mail.ietf.org ([]) by localhost (ietfa.amsl.com []) (amavisd-new, port 10024) with ESMTP id EiywWKbonhTN for <alto@ietfa.amsl.com>; Sat, 10 Oct 2020 00:23:58 -0700 (PDT)
Received: from zg8tmty1ljiyny4xntqumjca.icoremail.net (zg8tmty1ljiyny4xntqumjca.icoremail.net []) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with SMTP id 675D93A0D48 for <alto@ietf.org>; Sat, 10 Oct 2020 00:23:57 -0700 (PDT)
Received: by ajax-webmail-app1 (Coremail) ; Sat, 10 Oct 2020 15:23:53 +0800 (GMT+08:00)
X-Originating-IP: []
Date: Sat, 10 Oct 2020 15:23:53 +0800 (GMT+08:00)
X-CM-HeaderCharset: UTF-8
From: kaigao@scu.edu.cn
To: alto@ietf.org
X-Priority: 3
X-Mailer: Coremail Webmail Server Version XT5.0.13 build 20200820(b2b8cba1) Copyright (c) 2002-2020 www.mailtech.cn mail
Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="----=_Part_131032_1138349564.1602314633971"
MIME-Version: 1.0
Message-ID: <814b8d6.9009.175116502f3.Coremail.kaigao@scu.edu.cn>
X-Coremail-Locale: en_US
X-CM-SenderInfo: 5ndlwt3r6vu3oohg3hdfq/1tbiAQIEB138kkSH5QAYsN
X-Coremail-Antispam: 1Ur529EdanIXcx71UUUUU7IcSsGvfJ3iIAIbVAYjsxI4VWxJw CS07vEb4IE77IF4wCS07vE1I0E4x80FVAKz4kxMIAIbVAFxVCaYxvI4VCIwcAKzIAtYxBI daVFxhVjvjDU=
Archived-At: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/alto/PQy-QNz6UfTI6GxOPWCzc0VkHRo>
Subject: [alto] Review for draft-ietf-alto-performance-metrics-12
X-BeenThere: alto@ietf.org
X-Mailman-Version: 2.1.29
Precedence: list
List-Id: "Application-Layer Traffic Optimization \(alto\) WG mailing list" <alto.ietf.org>
List-Unsubscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/options/alto>, <mailto:alto-request@ietf.org?subject=unsubscribe>
List-Archive: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/browse/alto/>
List-Post: <mailto:alto@ietf.org>
List-Help: <mailto:alto-request@ietf.org?subject=help>
List-Subscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/alto>, <mailto:alto-request@ietf.org?subject=subscribe>
X-List-Received-Date: Sat, 10 Oct 2020 07:24:01 -0000


Below is my review for the performance metrics draft.

The document is well written and easy to follow. The specifications are also well-organized. I do not see major problems with the technical contents. However, there are a few typos and inconsistent usage of terms, as listed below.



Page 5: para 1:

rough -> roughly, max -> maximum

Page 6, sec 2.1

remove "and" before sla

latency typically do -> does

"SHOULD NOT" -> "MUST NOT", "can be placed" -> "must be placed"

Page 7, para 1:

a "sla" -> an "sla"

after figure 1, para 1:

"estimation -> "estimation"

Page 8,

with letter p -> with letter "p"

Page 15, example:

delay-var -> delay-variation

Page 28:

ALTO Server and Client -> ALTO server and client

Page 29:

"Since he ..." -> The paragraph is repeated and should be removed