Re: [alto] WGLC for draft-ietf-alto-cdni-request-routing-alto-09

Dear authors,

I have performed a review of this draft (-09).
My comments are below:

1) Section 2.2

   "Application-Layer Traffic Optimization (ALTO) [RFC7285
<https://tools.ietf.org/html/rfc7285>] is an
   approach for guiding the resource provider selection process in
   distributed applications that can choose among several candidate
   resources providers to retrieve a given resource.  By conveying
   network layer (topology) information, an ALTO server can provide
   important information to "guide" the resource provider selection
   process in distributed applications."

 The two paragraphs are very similar in content, consider merging. E.g.:
"Application-Layer Traffic Optimization (ALTO) [RFC7285] is an approach for
conveying network layer (topology) information to "guide" the resource
provider selection process in distributed applications."

2) Section 2.2

"Recently, however, ALTO is
   also being considered for improving the request routing in CDNs
   [I-D.jenkins-alto-cdn-use-cases
<https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-alto-cdni-request-routing-alto-09#ref-I-D.jenkins-alto-cdn-use-cases>]."

The reference dates from 2012 and it is an expired draft

3) Section 2.2

  "This would enable a uCDN to

      determine if a given dCDN actually has the capabilities for a
      given request with respect to the type of content requested."

Wordy sentence, consider rewriting: e.g., "This would enable a uCDN to
determine if a dCDN actually has the capabilities for a given type of
content request."

4) Section 2.1

"      related to CDNI Metadata.

   o"

Remove last bullet (there is no text)

5) Introduction

"instead of getting the full resource which can be huge.  Section 6
<https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-alto-cdni-request-routing-alto-09#section-6>"

Consider adding a comma: "instead of getting the full resource*,* which can
be huge. Section 6"

6) Introduction

"Section 7 <https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-alto-cdni-request-routing-alto-09#section-7>
and Section 8 <https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-alto-cdni-request-routing-alto-09#section-8>
respectively."

Consider adding a comma: "Section 7 and Section 8, respectively."

7) Section 2.2

"   in particular for an FCI protocol:

   o"

Remove bullet (there is no text)

8) Section 4.2.4

"In this example, the ALTO client is interested in changes of "my-
   cdnifci-with-pid-footprints".  Considering two changes, the first one"

Consider rewriting: "In this example, the ALTO client is interested in two
changes of "my- cdnifci-with-pid-footprints". The first one"

9) Section 2.2

"design of ALTO supports server pushed incremental updates

      [I-D.ietf-alto-incr-update-sse
<https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-alto-cdni-request-routing-alto-09#ref-I-D.ietf-alto-incr-update-sse>]."

Consider updating the reference

sse-17 -> sse-19

10) Section 2.2

"  ALTO Path
      Vector Extension [I-D.ietf-alto-path-vector
<https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-alto-cdni-request-routing-alto-09#ref-I-D.ietf-alto-path-vector>]
is designed to allow"

Consider updating the reference

vector-08 -> vector-09

11) Section 2.2

"footprint by a dCDN, in particular
      if such a footprint is being"

Consider adding a comma: "... in particular*,* if such ..."

12) Section 2.2

"would enable a dCDN to directly inform a uCDN about such changes."

Consider rewriting: "to directly inform a uCDN about such changes" -> "to
inform a uCDN about such changes directly"

13) Section 3.6

"value and footprints, where footprints are defined in "

Consider adding a comma: "... value, and footprints ..."

14) Section 5.6

"an full CDNI FCI resource (See Section 3.6
<https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-alto-cdni-request-routing-alto-09#section-3.6>.)"

"an full" -> a full

15) Section 6

"CDNI capabilities, the most natrual way to satisfy this requirement"

"natrual" -> "natural"

16) Section 6

"   is to use the ALTO property map defined in
   [I-D.ietf-alto-unified-props-new
<https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-alto-cdni-request-routing-alto-09#ref-I-D.ietf-alto-unified-props-new>]."

Consider updating the reference

new-09 -> new-10

17) Section 6.1.1.2

"The entity identifiers of entities in an asn domain is encoded as a"

Consider changing the verb form: "The entity identifiers of entities in an
asn domain *are* encoded..."

18) Section 6.1.2.2

"The entity identifiers of entities in a countrycode domain is encoded"

Consider changing the verb form: "The entity identifiers of entities in a
countrycode domain *are* encoded..."

19) Section 7.1

"A new footprint type is to be registred"

Typo: "registred" -> registered

20) Section 7.3

"property type is to be registred, listed in Table 3."

Typo: "registred" -> registered

21) Section 8

"Security Considerations (Section 15
<https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-alto-cdni-request-routing-alto-09#section-15>)
of the base protocol fully apply"

Consider fixing the link "Section 15"

22) Section 8

"expoing all full/filtered CDNI FCI resources in one of its IRDs."

"expoing" -> "exposing"

Best regards,

Danny Lachos

On Mon, Feb 3, 2020 at 1:06 PM Vijay Gurbani <vijay.gurbani@gmail.com>
wrote:

> All: Jan and I will like to start WGLC for
> draft-ietf-cdni-request-routing-alto-09.  The WGLC period will run from
> Mon,
> Feb 3 2020 to Wed, Feb 19 2020.
>
> This email is also being cross-posted to the CDNI working group.
>
> We will like to have one WG list member from ALTO and one WG list member
> from
> CDNI review this draft in depth.  Please send Jan and me an email if you
> are willing
> review the draft as part of WGLC.
>
> In addition, we will like general reviews of the draft from both ALTO and
> CDNI WGs.
>
> Thank you.
> _______________________________________________
> alto mailing list
> alto@ietf.org
> https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/alto
>