[Anima] Re: Fwd: Review of draft-ietf-anima-constrained-join-proxy-15

Esko Dijk <esko.dijk@iotconsultancy.nl> Fri, 24 May 2024 16:27 UTC

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From: Esko Dijk <esko.dijk@iotconsultancy.nl>
To: William Atwood <william.atwood@concordia.ca>, Anima WG <anima@ietf.org>
Thread-Topic: [Anima] Fwd: Review of draft-ietf-anima-constrained-join-proxy-15
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Date: Fri, 24 May 2024 16:27:07 +0000
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Thanks Bill,

Great to see so many detailed comments. I've offered to start working on this doc (including some open issues and PRs on Github ...) but due to other work this hasn't happened yet.
We / authors should address these comments - maybe in a phased manner.

Regards
Esko

-----Original Message-----
From: William Atwood <william.atwood@concordia.ca> 
Sent: Tuesday, May 21, 2024 17:12
To: Anima WG <anima@ietf.org>
Subject: [Anima] Fwd: Review of draft-ietf-anima-constrained-join-proxy-15

Adding the anima list.


-------- Forwarded Message --------
Subject: Review of draft-ietf-anima-constrained-join-proxy-15
Date: Tue, 16 Apr 2024 12:27:25 -0400
From: William Atwood <william.atwood@concordia.ca>
To: Michael Richardson <mcr+ietf@sandelman.ca>, Peter van der Stok 
<stokcons@bbhmail.nl>, Panos Kampanakis <pkampana@cisco.com>

Michael, Peter, Panos,

I have done a review of constrained-join-proxy.  I have a couple of 
technical questions, and a number of formatting/grammar suggestions.

The questions and suggestions are indicated as comments in the attached PDF.

Also attached is a separate PDF file that gives an explanation of why I 
have suggested replacing many instances of "which" with "that", along 
with some comments on other grammatical issues that occur more often 
when I am reviewing academic documents.

I hope that these comments will be useful to you.

    Bill

-- 
Dr. J.W. Atwood, Eng.             tel:   +1 (514) 848-2424 x3046
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