[Anima] Fwd: Review of draft-ietf-anima-constrained-join-proxy-15

William Atwood <william.atwood@concordia.ca> Tue, 21 May 2024 15:11 UTC

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Subject: [Anima] Fwd: Review of draft-ietf-anima-constrained-join-proxy-15
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Adding the anima list.


-------- Forwarded Message --------
Subject: Review of draft-ietf-anima-constrained-join-proxy-15
Date: Tue, 16 Apr 2024 12:27:25 -0400
From: William Atwood <william.atwood@concordia.ca>
To: Michael Richardson <mcr+ietf@sandelman.ca>, Peter van der Stok 
<stokcons@bbhmail.nl>, Panos Kampanakis <pkampana@cisco.com>

Michael, Peter, Panos,

I have done a review of constrained-join-proxy.  I have a couple of 
technical questions, and a number of formatting/grammar suggestions.

The questions and suggestions are indicated as comments in the attached PDF.

Also attached is a separate PDF file that gives an explanation of why I 
have suggested replacing many instances of "which" with "that", along 
with some comments on other grammatical issues that occur more often 
when I am reviewing academic documents.

I hope that these comments will be useful to you.

    Bill

-- 
Dr. J.W. Atwood, Eng.             tel:   +1 (514) 848-2424 x3046
Distinguished Professor Emeritus  fax:   +1 (514) 848-2830
Department of Computer Science
     and Software Engineering
Concordia University ER 1234      email:william.atwood@concordia.ca
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