[apps-discuss] APPSDIR review of draft-ietf-pcp-upnp-igd-interworking-07
"Vijay K. Gurbani" <vkg@bell-labs.com> Mon, 08 April 2013 17:15 UTC
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Date: Mon, 08 Apr 2013 12:18:12 -0500
From: "Vijay K. Gurbani" <vkg@bell-labs.com>
Organization: Bell Laboratories, Alcatel-Lucent
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Cc: "apps-discuss@ietf.org" <apps-discuss@ietf.org>
Subject: [apps-discuss] APPSDIR review of draft-ietf-pcp-upnp-igd-interworking-07
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I have been selected as the Applications Area Directorate reviewer for this draft (for background on appsdir, please see http://trac.tools.ietf.org/area/app/trac/wiki/ApplicationsAreaDirectorate ). Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments you may receive. Please wait for direction from your document shepherd or AD before posting a new version of the draft. Document: draft-ietf-pcp-upnp-igd-interworking-07 Title: Universal Plug and Play (UPnP) Internet Gateway Device (IGD)-Port Control Protocol (PCP) Interworking Function Reviewer: Vijay K. Gurbani Review Date: Apr-08-2013 IETF Last Call Date: Not known IESG Telechat Date: Not known Summary: This draft is ready for publication as a Proposed Standard. A few issues that should be looked at before publication are listed below. Major Issues: 0 Minor Issues: 1 Nits: 2 Minor: ------ - S1, Figure 1: Where is the IGD in this figure? Is it co-located with the UPnP-PCP IWF? You may want to be more explicit about the location of the IGD since the remaining text depends on this context. Note that it may be clear to you where the IGD is, but it may not be so apparent to readers not up to speed with this area. Nits: ----- - S1, first and second paragraphs: You may want to expand IGD when it is first encountered in the first paragraph. You do the expansion in the second occurrence (paragraph two, bullet one). Just move it up. Additionally, you may want to expand IWF when it first appears below Figure 1. - S5.6.1, in the "Discussion" indentation: Is it "Vuzz" or do you mean "Vuze"? Thanks, - vijay -- Vijay K. Gurbani, Bell Laboratories, Alcatel-Lucent 1960 Lucent Lane, Rm. 9C-533, Naperville, Illinois 60563 (USA) Email: vkg@{bell-labs.com,acm.org} / vijay.gurbani@alcatel-lucent.com Web: http://ect.bell-labs.com/who/vkg/
- [apps-discuss] APPSDIR review of draft-ietf-pcp-u… Vijay K. Gurbani
- Re: [apps-discuss] APPSDIR review of draft-ietf-p… mohamed.boucadair