[art] Re: Artart last call review of draft-ietf-tsvwg-multipath-dccp-17
Markus.Amend@telekom.de Fri, 11 October 2024 16:01 UTC
Return-Path: <Markus.Amend@telekom.de>
X-Original-To: art@ietfa.amsl.com
Delivered-To: art@ietfa.amsl.com
Received: from localhost (localhost [127.0.0.1]) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id 0C7AAC15198B; Fri, 11 Oct 2024 09:01:47 -0700 (PDT)
X-Virus-Scanned: amavisd-new at amsl.com
X-Spam-Flag: NO
X-Spam-Score: -2.951
X-Spam-Level:
X-Spam-Status: No, score=-2.951 tagged_above=-999 required=5 tests=[BAYES_00=-1.9, DKIMWL_WL_HIGH=-0.148, DKIM_SIGNED=0.1, DKIM_VALID=-0.1, DKIM_VALID_AU=-0.1, DKIM_VALID_EF=-0.1, RCVD_IN_DNSWL_LOW=-0.7, RCVD_IN_MSPIKE_H3=0.001, RCVD_IN_MSPIKE_WL=0.001, RCVD_IN_ZEN_BLOCKED_OPENDNS=0.001, SPF_HELO_NONE=0.001, SPF_NONE=0.001, T_SCC_BODY_TEXT_LINE=-0.01, URIBL_DBL_BLOCKED_OPENDNS=0.001, URIBL_ZEN_BLOCKED_OPENDNS=0.001] autolearn=ham autolearn_force=no
Authentication-Results: ietfa.amsl.com (amavisd-new); dkim=pass (2048-bit key) header.d=telekom.de
Received: from mail.ietf.org ([50.223.129.194]) by localhost (ietfa.amsl.com [127.0.0.1]) (amavisd-new, port 10024) with ESMTP id HrpXBtBpnGfT; Fri, 11 Oct 2024 09:01:42 -0700 (PDT)
Received: from mailout21.telekom.de (mailout21.telekom.de [194.25.225.215]) (using TLSv1.2 with cipher ECDHE-ECDSA-AES256-GCM-SHA384 (256/256 bits)) (No client certificate requested) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTPS id B42A6C14CF1C; Fri, 11 Oct 2024 09:01:41 -0700 (PDT)
DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed; d=telekom.de; i=@telekom.de; q=dns/txt; s=dtag1; t=1728662502; x=1760198502; h=from:to:cc:subject:date:message-id:references: in-reply-to:content-transfer-encoding:mime-version; bh=oobfNw8NYFYsfqeje+MmlFZ9sNTb4vK2dFisRpKjAb4=; b=vs9PuC5KQnhnJI1EhjkZq9Mj0dN3Ti35a/S+56KEQuOn/xJVjd6xjb7v Ka81KKPsFdIJA+W/eQtTExc9VrtshtfdFGO4c7SWMRkNW4tj1na8EJwXd cOqIE2OhQf0QJvLPeG2orl9jghRqMG8WUScMzikcJU3dln3UGySkRWenD ezNpzhSgveVminlLTOCJZ4szGXhg2+reWss9nR4Jcg3uMx920ABKy5Aja S/inawemfCXfxAhbah3kW8enloeLABFAjrjzXPQhhnVc+BpXh3JJZyx+X c66keYfZg0ioHr0/77v8VrweukhM+n4epIfYEvlTy8e3Qst0sygsOI4vD w==;
Received: from unknown (HELO lb-mailbb.aws.telekom.de) ([10.175.186.132]) by MAILOUT21.dmznet.de.t-internal.com with ESMTP/TLS/ECDHE-RSA-AES128-GCM-SHA256; 11 Oct 2024 18:01:39 +0200
IronPort-SDR: 67094be3_jWx9OGihEIopyJGMZ7/AMTtp1n/1fLUnovC5Ib1rHdiq79o REQfY7FVcUFR7W+Qlda3oSb3HEvu2yYvGzdv5Ag==
X-IronPort-AV: E=Sophos;i="6.11,196,1725314400"; d="scan'208";a="78617116"
Received: from he101419.emea1.cds.t-internal.com ([10.169.118.196]) by mailbb03.mailbb2.aws.telekom.de with ESMTP/TLS/ECDHE-RSA-AES256-GCM-SHA384; 11 Oct 2024 18:01:39 +0200
Received: from HE126304.emea1.cds.t-internal.com (10.169.118.205) by HE101419.emea1.cds.t-internal.com (10.169.118.196) with Microsoft SMTP Server (version=TLS1_2, cipher=TLS_ECDHE_RSA_WITH_AES_256_GCM_SHA384) id 15.2.1544.11; Fri, 11 Oct 2024 18:01:38 +0200
Received: from HE101421.emea1.cds.t-internal.com (10.169.118.197) by HE126304.emea1.cds.t-internal.com (10.169.118.205) with Microsoft SMTP Server (version=TLS1_2, cipher=TLS_ECDHE_RSA_WITH_AES_256_GCM_SHA384) id 15.2.1544.11; Fri, 11 Oct 2024 18:01:38 +0200
Received: from HE102771.emea1.cds.t-internal.com (10.171.40.43) by HE101421.emea1.cds.t-internal.com (10.169.118.197) with Microsoft SMTP Server (version=TLS1_2, cipher=TLS_ECDHE_RSA_WITH_AES_256_GCM_SHA384) id 15.2.1544.11 via Frontend Transport; Fri, 11 Oct 2024 18:01:38 +0200
Received: from FR5P281CU006.outbound.protection.outlook.com (40.93.78.48) by O365mail08.telekom.de (172.30.0.240) with Microsoft SMTP Server (version=TLS1_2, cipher=TLS_ECDHE_RSA_WITH_AES_256_GCM_SHA384) id 15.2.1544.11; Fri, 11 Oct 2024 18:01:38 +0200
ARC-Seal: i=1; a=rsa-sha256; s=arcselector10001; d=microsoft.com; cv=none; b=Yp27Lxjok6gvMpgkPAYaDyxi7Gode5A3WbnR9JpIXB2cRnDI2S7olUl8eOj/NSlv/wEvXJZSrv5VLRtXuFwd6VT987JzB8CuIfOgSZ5tWPuT+r5qXy3UfS8pWcgQ72B/mU8kvA0eiaNfW+wc2pd9X5W3u6O80xIFT2/IGTwin/EqTH9NO7TaCnFQG2eur7OqdamXSpFhNqWvIvvWYLd5M03Munsq7QqPEzaMtI7tVm4+NyxsroaGGnypbpJulAvESBkNo4NyrIHdEYPW3MV5RMGnobNI8Epn4ULkIeNWvmD9kzDHjIsilY+MNZ5oLNK86bJ76zg6CbMcaKID3c7TlQ==
ARC-Message-Signature: i=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed; d=microsoft.com; s=arcselector10001; h=From:Date:Subject:Message-ID:Content-Type:MIME-Version:X-MS-Exchange-AntiSpam-MessageData-ChunkCount:X-MS-Exchange-AntiSpam-MessageData-0:X-MS-Exchange-AntiSpam-MessageData-1; bh=oobfNw8NYFYsfqeje+MmlFZ9sNTb4vK2dFisRpKjAb4=; b=E0Y6nZatI0ajjU47UTE+fRv0qCR+V5edRwVEXfH6pOLIpDTe9h//4ZE/acLzOTvmPnq3L1jKFAKgtBVN2LQHEq1RNH/qOQG1t5kHVx2WJeWHZyQjDlnXtp2z4swZFVmiohhhBvSR+rc1gq9snb2XJHabSRoxKuv0jjSYmapiIvvuZLnLAnVnek4FWdMPCWTHfP+BYAUmVprfEGEqPluEwkMtkuvGz6NrsErQVJ3aQpAO3nebCtS9k71AH3+GWjLY0+2UC7nAP8Sg4Ux8g7u97vFSdYF0GfEcAkD4UnQqfopyE1lIO91Bo/1GjnVKuGMj1QYzYt9+5rXdsiVOvVm+vA==
ARC-Authentication-Results: i=1; mx.microsoft.com 1; spf=pass smtp.mailfrom=telekom.de; dmarc=pass action=none header.from=telekom.de; dkim=pass header.d=telekom.de; arc=none
Received: from FR6P281MB4642.DEUP281.PROD.OUTLOOK.COM (2603:10a6:d10:159::8) by FR6P281MB4030.DEUP281.PROD.OUTLOOK.COM (2603:10a6:d10:115::8) with Microsoft SMTP Server (version=TLS1_2, cipher=TLS_ECDHE_RSA_WITH_AES_256_GCM_SHA384) id 15.20.8048.18; Fri, 11 Oct 2024 16:01:37 +0000
Received: from FR6P281MB4642.DEUP281.PROD.OUTLOOK.COM ([fe80::f549:c408:72df:4b6]) by FR6P281MB4642.DEUP281.PROD.OUTLOOK.COM ([fe80::f549:c408:72df:4b6%4]) with mapi id 15.20.8048.018; Fri, 11 Oct 2024 16:01:37 +0000
From: Markus.Amend@telekom.de
To: housley@vigilsec.com, art@ietf.org
Thread-Topic: Artart last call review of draft-ietf-tsvwg-multipath-dccp-17
Thread-Index: AQHbFo2f4LoMrR+1N0W7G/71MJS3I7KBv3Nw
Date: Fri, 11 Oct 2024 16:01:37 +0000
Message-ID: <FR6P281MB46425B743A10D4051716B02CFA792@FR6P281MB4642.DEUP281.PROD.OUTLOOK.COM>
References: <172806753857.96916.8975919092615857918@dt-datatracker-cb674fff7-jr9km>
In-Reply-To: <172806753857.96916.8975919092615857918@dt-datatracker-cb674fff7-jr9km>
Accept-Language: de-DE, en-US
Content-Language: de-DE
X-MS-Has-Attach:
X-MS-TNEF-Correlator:
authentication-results: dkim=none (message not signed) header.d=none;dmarc=none action=none header.from=telekom.de;
x-ms-publictraffictype: Email
x-ms-traffictypediagnostic: FR6P281MB4642:EE_|FR6P281MB4030:EE_
x-ms-office365-filtering-correlation-id: 31d60477-4b44-43b7-beac-08dcea0dfcaa
x-ms-exchange-senderadcheck: 1
x-ms-exchange-antispam-relay: 0
x-microsoft-antispam: BCL:0;ARA:13230040|376014|366016|1800799024|38070700018;
x-microsoft-antispam-message-info: 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
x-forefront-antispam-report: CIP:255.255.255.255;CTRY:;LANG:en;SCL:1;SRV:;IPV:NLI;SFV:NSPM;H:FR6P281MB4642.DEUP281.PROD.OUTLOOK.COM;PTR:;CAT:NONE;SFS:(13230040)(376014)(366016)(1800799024)(38070700018);DIR:OUT;SFP:1101;
x-ms-exchange-antispam-messagedata-chunkcount: 1
x-ms-exchange-antispam-messagedata-0: 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
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="utf-8"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: base64
MIME-Version: 1.0
X-MS-Exchange-CrossTenant-AuthAs: Internal
X-MS-Exchange-CrossTenant-AuthSource: FR6P281MB4642.DEUP281.PROD.OUTLOOK.COM
X-MS-Exchange-CrossTenant-Network-Message-Id: 31d60477-4b44-43b7-beac-08dcea0dfcaa
X-MS-Exchange-CrossTenant-originalarrivaltime: 11 Oct 2024 16:01:37.4239 (UTC)
X-MS-Exchange-CrossTenant-fromentityheader: Hosted
X-MS-Exchange-CrossTenant-id: bde4dffc-4b60-4cf6-8b04-a5eeb25f5c4f
X-MS-Exchange-CrossTenant-mailboxtype: HOSTED
X-MS-Exchange-CrossTenant-userprincipalname: sadRQEKKijhOAfC8XERZRNosnZetHIptrtIspjYkmQ3E6MiqX6qlRjEgJBG9nYVBkdOjtaKlBfHrFJEexlYCnQ==
X-MS-Exchange-Transport-CrossTenantHeadersStamped: FR6P281MB4030
X-OriginatorOrg: telekom.de
Message-ID-Hash: 6F7M2HXZNZKZ5344PMEHX53N77NYL7R4
X-Message-ID-Hash: 6F7M2HXZNZKZ5344PMEHX53N77NYL7R4
X-MailFrom: Markus.Amend@telekom.de
X-Mailman-Rule-Misses: dmarc-mitigation; no-senders; approved; emergency; loop; banned-address; member-moderation; header-match-art.ietf.org-0; nonmember-moderation; administrivia; implicit-dest; max-recipients; max-size; news-moderation; no-subject; digests; suspicious-header
CC: draft-ietf-tsvwg-multipath-dccp.all@ietf.org, last-call@ietf.org, tsvwg@ietf.org
X-Mailman-Version: 3.3.9rc5
Precedence: list
Subject: [art] Re: Artart last call review of draft-ietf-tsvwg-multipath-dccp-17
List-Id: Applications and Real-Time Area Discussion <art.ietf.org>
Archived-At: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/art/QNQ4gRuirGG7MD1EvfRuHHnjmi0>
List-Archive: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/browse/art>
List-Help: <mailto:art-request@ietf.org?subject=help>
List-Owner: <mailto:art-owner@ietf.org>
List-Post: <mailto:art@ietf.org>
List-Subscribe: <mailto:art-join@ietf.org>
List-Unsubscribe: <mailto:art-leave@ietf.org>
Dear Russ, we've covered all your comments in the PRs marked “ARTreview” if you'd like to check them out: https://github.com/tsvwg/ietf-multipath-dccp/pulls?q=is%3Apr+is%3Aopen+label%3AARTreview Many thanks and best regards Markus > -----Ursprüngliche Nachricht----- > Von: Russ Housley via Datatracker <noreply@ietf.org> > Gesendet: Freitag, 4. Oktober 2024 20:46 > An: art@ietf.org > Cc: draft-ietf-tsvwg-multipath-dccp.all@ietf.org; last-call@ietf.org; > tsvwg@ietf.org > Betreff: Artart last call review of draft-ietf-tsvwg-multipath-dccp-17 > > Reviewer: Russ Housley > Review result: Almost Ready > > I am the assigned ART-ART reviewer for this draft. Please treat these > comments just like any other last call comments. > > > Document: draft-ietf-tsvwg-multipath-dccp-17 > Reviewer: Russ Housley > Review Date: 2024-10-04 > IETF LC End Date: 2024-10-17 > IESG Telechat date: Unknown > > Summary: Almost Ready > > The document is very well written. Thanks for the significant effort. > > > Major Concerns: > > Section 3.2.4: I find the notation confusing: hostA d-key(A)=(key-a+key-b). > Further, the use of "-" as part of the variable name is easy to confuse > with a math operator. I suggest that the paragraph be reworded to show > how to compute key_d_a and key_d_b, which also avoids the key names > looking like functions. Maybe: > > Key Material is exchanged in plain text between hosts, and the key > parts (key_a, key_b) are used to generate the derived key (key_d) > by concatenating the two parts with the local key in front. > That is, key_d_a=key_a+key_b, and key_d_b=key_b+key_a. > > If you accept this comment, then you might define the following: > * HMAC(A) = HMAC-SHA256(key_d_a, message) > * HMAC(B) = HMAC-SHA256(key_d_b, message) > > Section 3.2.4: Is one of the Key Type mandatory-to-implement? I realize > that does not make that Key Type mandatory-to-use. > > Section 3.2.6: The "Key" used for the HMAC computation is the derived > key (d-key) described in Section 3.2.4. This statement is ambiguous. > In the proposed rewording of Section 3.2.4, the two keys values are > key_d_a and key_d_b. Which one is used here? The answer appears in > the bullets that follow, but it would be more clear to say it one time > before the bullets. Further, both Hast A and Host B need to "perform" > the HMAC-SHA256 calculation. One host is doing it to compute the value > to include in the datagram, and the other is doing it to check the value > that was received. > > Section 3.2.6: The text says: > > ... In the event that an > MP_HMAC cannot be associated with a suboption, unless it is an > MP_HMAC sent in DCCP-Ack in response to a DCCP-Response packet > containing an MP_JOIN option, this MP_HMAC MUST be ignored. > > This text begs for an explanation of MP_HMAC sent in DCCP-Ack in > response to a DCCP-Response packet containing an MP_JOIN option. > If a sentence will not cover it, then please add a pointer to the > part of the document that discusses this situation. > > Section 3.6: The text says: " (if this is not possible it MUST be > closed)." Please reword. Please do not burry the MUST statement in > a parenthetical. > > Section 4: Please add a paragraph that describes the consequences for > choosing the Plain Text Key Type over ECDHE-C25519-SHA256 or > ECDHE-C25519-SHA512. > > > Minor Concerns: > > The IANA registry indicates that Feature Number 10 was given a temporary > assignment. I expected to see a similar temporary assignment for Option > Type 46. Maybe this document will be published as an RFC before that > can happen, but it seems prudent to make the assignment. > > Section 3.1: The text says: > > Unlike the example in Figure 4, this document only allows the > negotiation of MP-DCCP version 0, which means that client and server > must support it. > > I think it would be more clear to say: > > Unlike the example in Figure 4, this document only allows the > negotiation of MP-DCCP version 0. Therefore, successful > negotiation of MP-DCCP as defined in this document, the client > and the server MUST both support MP-DCCP version 0. > > Section 3.2.4: s/certificate authority/certification authority (CA)/ > Also, you may want to reference RFC 5280 for a definition of a CA. > > Section 3.2.8: The text says: > > ... Note that an > implementation MAY discard incoming address advertisements - for > example, to avoid the required mapping state, or because advertised > addresses are of no use to it (for example, IPv6 addresses when it > has IPv4 only). Therefore, a host MUST treat address advertisements > as soft state, and the sender MAY choose to refresh advertisements > periodically. > > The nesting of examples makes this paragraph very difficult. First, > please separate the MUST statement and the MAY statement. Then, offer > examples to explain the reasons an implementation might choose to > discard incoming address advertisements or refresh advertisements > periodically. > > Section 3.2.9: Different names are used for the inputs to compute the > HMAC key in this section. Please be consistent. > > > Nits: > > General: Some sections use "Host A" and others use "host A". Please > pick one capitalization convention and use it throughout the document. > > General: Please use "bytes" (not "Bytes") when discussing the length of > a field or message. > > General: Please use "bytes" or "octets" when discussing the length of > a field or message. I have a mild preference for octets, but consistency > is desired. > > Section 1.2: Please consider adding a definition of 4-tuple. > > Section 2: There is something odd with the line breaks in the two > paragraphs. > > Section 2.1: s/Hosts A and B, respectively./Hosts A and B./ > > Section 2.1: s/The two subflows continues/The two subflows continue/ > > Section 3.2.1: s/MP_SEQ Section 3.2.5/MP_SEQ; see Section 3.2.5/ > > Section 3.2.2: s/packet (See Section 3.2.6 for details)/ > /packet; see Section 3.2.6 for details/ > > Section 3.2.2: s/needing to know what the source address at the receiver is/ > /the need to know the source address at the receiver/ > > Section 3.2.7: s/down- and uplink/down-link and up-link/ > > Section 3.2.9: s/MP_SEQ Section 3.2.5/MP_SEQ (Section 3.2.5)/ > > Section 3.2.9: s/server, respectively on the affected subflow(s) (if possible)/ > /server on the affected subflow(s), if possible)/ > > Section 3.2.10: I expected a paragraph for each example since "Example > use cases include:" is in a paragraph of its own. > > Section 3.2.10: s/path values 3-15 depends/path values 3-15 depend/ > > Section 3.11.2: Please add white space between the adjacent paragraphs. > > Section 5: s/Section 4/Section 4./ > >
- [art] Artart last call review of draft-ietf-tsvwg… Russ Housley via Datatracker
- [art] Re: Artart last call review of draft-ietf-t… Markus.Amend
- [art] Re: Artart last call review of draft-ietf-t… Markus.Amend