[AVTCORE] Lars Eggert's Discuss on draft-ietf-avtcore-cryptex-06: (with DISCUSS and COMMENT)

Lars Eggert via Datatracker <noreply@ietf.org> Thu, 16 June 2022 11:09 UTC

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Subject: [AVTCORE] Lars Eggert's Discuss on draft-ietf-avtcore-cryptex-06: (with DISCUSS and COMMENT)
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Lars Eggert has entered the following ballot position for
draft-ietf-avtcore-cryptex-06: Discuss

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DISCUSS:
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This document seems to have unresolved IANA issues. Holding a DISCUSS
until we can confirm on the telechat that a resolution is in progress.


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COMMENT:
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Thanks to Linda Dunbar for the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) review
(https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/gen-art/OSDyO_tiu5StDZyyJjwRP-Nvj-M).

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COMMENT
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Section 1.2, paragraph 1
>    [RFC6904] was proposed in 2013 as a solution to the problem of
>    unprotected header extension values.  However, it has not seen
>    significant adoption, and has a few technical shortcomings.


Would it be time to deprecate 6904? (Also see Paul's DISCUSS and Alavaro's
comment.)

Found terminology that should be reviewed for inclusivity; see
https://www.rfc-editor.org/part2/#inclusive_language for background and more
guidance:

 * Term "master"; alternatives might be "active", "central", "initiator",
   "leader", "main", "orchestrator", "parent", "primary", "server"

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NIT
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All comments below are about very minor potential issues that you may choose to
address in some way - or ignore - as you see fit. Some were flagged by
automated tools (via https://github.com/larseggert/ietf-reviewtool), so there
will likely be some false positives. There is no need to let me know what you
did with these suggestions.

Section 5.1, paragraph 1
>    When the mechanism defined by this specification has been negotiated,
>    sending a RTP packet that has any CSRCs or contains any {RFC8285}}
>    header extensions follows the steps below.  This mechanism MUST NOT
>    be used with header extensions other than the [RFC8285] variety.


Likely Markdown nit: {RFC8285}}

Reference [RFC4566] to RFC4566, which was obsoleted by RFC8866 (this may be on
purpose).

Section 5, paragraph 0
> fication has been negotiated, sending a RTP packet that has any CSRCs or cont
>                                       ^
Use "an" instead of "a" if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g.
"an article", "an hour".

Section 5.1, paragraph 4
> ecryption Procedure, and passed to the the next layer to process the packet a
>                                    ^^^^^^^
Possible typo: you repeated a word.

Section 6.2, paragraph 9
> ence number and SSRC identifier. Accordingly these values are also not encryp
>                                  ^^^^^^^^^^^
A comma may be missing after the conjunctive/linking adverb "Accordingly".