[AVTCORE] AD review of draft-ietf-avtcore-cc-feedback-message-07
Barry Leiba <barryleiba@computer.org> Thu, 23 July 2020 21:38 UTC
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Subject: [AVTCORE] AD review of draft-ietf-avtcore-cc-feedback-message-07
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Thanks for the work on this clear, easy-to-read document, and I'm sorry it took me a while to get through the workload to review it. Here's my AD review, and I'll set the state to "revised I-D needed" and start last call after -08 is posted. Everything here is minor; please let me know if you disagree with anything below. — Section 1 — Please include reference citations for RTP and RTCP. As a direct result, the different congestion control (i.e., rate adaptation) designs are not interoperable. Is “i.e.,” the right term here, or do you mean “such as”? I would also move the parenthetical one word later, rather than having it split the phrase “congestion control designs”. — Section 2 — Please use the current BCP 10 boilerplate, found in RFC 8174, and add a normative reference to that RFC. — Section 3 — o RTP sequence number: The receiver of an RTP flow needs to feedback the sequence numbers of the received RTP packets to the sender Nit: “feed back”, as a verb, should be two words. Or perhaps “needs to feed the sequence numbers … back to the sender”. (Check other uses of “feedback” as a verb also.) — Section 3.1 — The contents of each 16-bit packet metric block comprises the L, ECN, and ATO fields are as follows: Nit: It looks like “are” is an extra word here, yes? 1 represent the packet was received and the subsequent bits in the block need to be parsed. Nit: “1 represents that the” — Section 5 — However, if multiple consecutive congestion control feedback packets are lost, the sender SHOULD rapidly reduce its sending rate towards zero, as this likely indicates a path failure. Doesn’t “reduce” already mean “towards zero”? Is something further meant by saying “towards zero” that should be made clearer (I suspect so)? — Section 6 — When used with "ccfb" feedback, the wildcard payload type ("*") MUST be used. This doesn’t read well as written, and sorta doesn’t make much sense. I think you just want to say this: NEW The payload type used with “ccfb” feedback MUST be the wildcard type (“*”). END — Section 8 — An efficient congestion control algorithm requires more fine grained information on per packet reception quality Nit: hyphenate “fine-grained” and “per-packet”. Also hyphenate the former in the following sentence. This is the opposite of the sender based congestion control approach suggested in this memo, so TMMBR cannot be used to convey the information needed for a sender based congestion control. Nit: hyphenate “sender-based” in both places, and also at the end of the section. — Section 11 — at a greater rate than the path can support, thereby congesting the path. Is “congesting” really used as a verb generally? Better as “thereby causing congestion on the path.” Barry
- [AVTCORE] AD review of draft-ietf-avtcore-cc-feed… Barry Leiba
- Re: [AVTCORE] AD review of draft-ietf-avtcore-cc-… Colin Perkins
- Re: [AVTCORE] AD review of draft-ietf-avtcore-cc-… Colin Perkins
- Re: [AVTCORE] AD review of draft-ietf-avtcore-cc-… Barry Leiba