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Re: [babel] draft-ietf-babel-information-model Shepherd Review

Donald Eastlake <d3e3e3@gmail.com> Sun, 06 October 2019 20:45 UTC

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From: Donald Eastlake <d3e3e3@gmail.com>
Date: Sun, 06 Oct 2019 16:45:26 -0400
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To: Babel at IETF <babel@ietf.org>
Cc: babel-chairs <babel-chairs@ietf.org>, draft-ietf-babel-information-model@ietf.org
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Subject: Re: [babel] draft-ietf-babel-information-model Shepherd Review
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Hi,

One other thing, it needs an IANA Considerations Section saying that no
IANA actions are required.

Thanks,
Donald
===============================
 Donald E. Eastlake 3rd   +1-508-333-2270 (cell)
 2386 Panoramic Circle, Apopka, FL 32703 USA
 d3e3e3@gmail.com


On Sun, Oct 6, 2019 at 4:38 PM Donald Eastlake <d3e3e3@gmail.com> wrote:

> Hi,
>
> I think this draft is in pretty good shape. I have a suggested alternative
> abstract and a few minor editorial comments as below.
>
> Abstract: I'd like to suggest the alternative wording below.
>
> This Babel Information Model provides structured data elements for a Babel
> implementation reporting its current state and may allow limited
> configuration of some such data elements. This information model can be
> used as a basis for creating data models under various other data modeling
> regimes.
>
>
> Editorials: see below.
> Section 1, 1st paragraph, remove last set of parentheses.
> Section 1, 2nd paragraph, remove first set of parentheses.
> Section 1, 2nd paragraph, last sentence, "may" -> "MAY".
> Section 1.2, in list, insert "(true or false)" after "Boolean".
> Section 2, in list of items not required to be read-only, for MAC-keys,
> "use" -> "used" twice.
> Section 3.8, in babel-key-use-verify, "comparing an incoming packet" ->
> "comparing with the MAC in an incoming packet".
>
> Thanks,
> Donald
> ===============================
>  Donald E. Eastlake 3rd   +1-508-333-2270 (cell)
>  2386 Panoramic Circle, Apopka, FL 32703 USA
>  d3e3e3@gmail.com
>

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