[bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn-mcast-mib-07
Glenn Mansfield Keeni <glenn@cysols.com> Mon, 01 May 2017 10:34 UTC
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Cc: Mach Chen <mach.chen@huawei.com>, "mib-doctors@ietf.org" <mib-doctors@ietf.org>, "Jeffrey (Zhaohui) Zhang" <zzhang@juniper.net>, "EXT - thomas.morin@orange.com" <thomas.morin@orange.com>, Martin Vigoureux <martin.vigoureux@nokia.com>, "bess@ietf.org" <bess@ietf.org>
From: Glenn Mansfield Keeni <glenn@cysols.com>
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Date: Mon, 01 May 2017 19:32:22 +0900
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Subject: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn-mcast-mib-07
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Dear Tsuno/Zhang Thanks for waiting. The review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn-mcast-mib-07 follows. Glenn C1. Abstract: The draft now defines 2 MIB modules. Please revise the abstract and probably the title of the document too. C2. The MIBs (L2L3-VPN-MCAST-TC-MIB, L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB) compile OK. (Three {type-unref} warnings are there, may be ignored.) C3. Page 4: s/3. Summary of MIB Module/ 3. Summary of MIB Modules/ C4. Page 6: L2L3VpnMcastProviderTunnelPointer DESCRIPTION s/"Denotes a pointer to the row pertaining to a table entry/ /"This textual convention represents a pointer to a row in the table represented by the following object of type L2L3VpnMcastProviderTunnelPointerType./ C5. Page 7: L2L3VpnMcastProviderTunnelPointer DESCRIPTION The explanation in the last paragraph seems out of place. It may be removed. C6 Page 7: L2L3VpnMcastProviderTunnelPointerType DESCRIPTION it is unclear when the value 'null(0)' will be used. Is this allowed only when the corresponding object of type L2L3VpnMcastProviderTunnelPointer has a value that is a zero-length string ? If yes, please make that clear. C7. Page 9: l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeTable DESCRIPTION s/created by a PE router/maintained by a PE router/ C8. Page 12: l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeId Do you really want to keep this object in L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB. It will change every time a new "tunnel type" is added to L2L3VpnMcastProviderTunnelType. That will defeat the purpose of separating L2L3-VPN-MCAST-TC-MIB from L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB It may be a good idea to define a textual convention like L2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeId in the L2L3-VPN-MCAST-TC-MIB and use that textual convention in the L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB C9. Page 13: l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeId DESCRIPTION A. s/Thus, the size of this object is 16 octets in IPv4/ Thus, the size of this object is 8 octets in IPv4/ B. The last 2 paragraphs do not tie up well with the previous paragraphs in the DESCRIPTION. C. In the last paragraph "this object is a pair of source and group IP addresses" is unlcear. Please clarify. C10. Page 15: Security Considerations I would think that any field that reveals information about a Multicast VPN and/or its members is sensitive. Does the l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeId field reveal information about the participating members? If yes, it must be marked as sensitive. C11. Editorial: A. This does not pertain to the MIBs as such, but I am uncomfortable with the several variations of the phrase "Layer 2 and Layer 3 Virtual Private Networks (VPN) that support multicast" that appears in the text. I do not have a solution on hand but it would be perhaps be more readable to define and use a simple name/notation the beast for which the MIB is being designed (e.g. "L2L3VPNMCast"). B. Same with the phrase "Layer 2 (L2) and Layer 3 (L3) VPN (Virtual Private Network) it would be probably be easier on the reader if an abbreviation like L2L3VPNs was used where ever applicable. C12. P2:Para4: s/within MIB module specifications//; C13. General: A. The DESCRIPTION clauses could do would some more packing. (Too much space at the end of lines) B. Please check the articles a/an/the once again. Some usages do not seem right to me.
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Hiroshi Tsunoda
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn-… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-mvpn-mib-… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-mvpn-… Mach Chen
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Mach Chen
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Jeffrey (Zhaohui) Zhang
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Mach Chen
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Mach Chen
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Jeffrey (Zhaohui) Zhang
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-mvpn-… Mach Chen
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-mvpn-… Jeffrey (Zhaohui) Zhang
- [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn-… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Benoit Claise
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Jeffrey (Zhaohui) Zhang
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Hiroshi Tsunoda
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Hiroshi Tsunoda
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Hiroshi Tsunoda
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Hiroshi Tsunoda
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-mvpn-… Hiroshi Tsunoda
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Hiroshi Tsunoda
- [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn-… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Hiroshi Tsunoda
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Hiroshi Tsunoda
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-mvpn-… thomas.morin
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-mvpn-… Hiroshi Tsunoda
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-mvpn-… thomas.morin
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-mvpn-… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Hiroshi Tsunoda
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-mvpn-… Hiroshi Tsunoda
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-mvpn-… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Hiroshi Tsunoda
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-mvpn-… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-mvpn-… Hiroshi Tsunoda
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Glenn Mansfield Keeni