Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn-mcast-mib-07
Hiroshi Tsunoda <tsuno@m.ieice.org> Tue, 02 May 2017 12:48 UTC
Return-Path: <dr.h.t@ieee.org>
X-Original-To: bess@ietfa.amsl.com
Delivered-To: bess@ietfa.amsl.com
Received: from localhost (localhost [127.0.0.1]) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id B3D9E12955F for <bess@ietfa.amsl.com>; Tue, 2 May 2017 05:48:08 -0700 (PDT)
X-Virus-Scanned: amavisd-new at amsl.com
X-Spam-Flag: NO
X-Spam-Score: -1.2
X-Spam-Level:
X-Spam-Status: No, score=-1.2 tagged_above=-999 required=5 tests=[BAYES_05=-0.5, DKIM_SIGNED=0.1, DKIM_VALID=-0.1, HEADER_FROM_DIFFERENT_DOMAINS=0.001, RCVD_IN_DNSWL_LOW=-0.7, SPF_PASS=-0.001] autolearn=ham autolearn_force=no
Authentication-Results: ietfa.amsl.com (amavisd-new); dkim=pass (2048-bit key) header.d=ieee-org.20150623.gappssmtp.com
Received: from mail.ietf.org ([4.31.198.44]) by localhost (ietfa.amsl.com [127.0.0.1]) (amavisd-new, port 10024) with ESMTP id xgUdWbKnSek4 for <bess@ietfa.amsl.com>; Tue, 2 May 2017 05:48:05 -0700 (PDT)
Received: from mail-qk0-x22a.google.com (mail-qk0-x22a.google.com [IPv6:2607:f8b0:400d:c09::22a]) (using TLSv1.2 with cipher ECDHE-RSA-AES128-GCM-SHA256 (128/128 bits)) (No client certificate requested) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTPS id 553EE124217 for <bess@ietf.org>; Tue, 2 May 2017 05:44:56 -0700 (PDT)
Received: by mail-qk0-x22a.google.com with SMTP id u68so31055635qkd.0 for <bess@ietf.org>; Tue, 02 May 2017 05:44:56 -0700 (PDT)
DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed; d=ieee-org.20150623.gappssmtp.com; s=20150623; h=mime-version:sender:in-reply-to:references:from:date:message-id :subject:to:cc; bh=lMPVHHyIXuM+CYGb63QhRhoRf0yBDEfrwvw4HBrrPks=; b=eORROj34Wz5GUVgmScgZfBXkptQNoSmrxCg3+DBp2ihtw/bIoCRvNHDGljw3kIcrTz sP6nBdd2cLd88PYtTkBEU49lDK40CWftJUfLM+vWW0u6HXwjTYnXYZgVrBeF9t/oLl0v hfZ5rJzs/9TiB5YLjy5YKHeRdxxTAJgCPm9eZzeaNaZcW567SSkpBNEwgsTHjWos8a1E 5l+4yAHxiXRs0rhhKUZpzmoru3s2ZGIOoVM5g0pqma7orfPYBRD+X1ik72k74a+giwvt 8WSef/AiNOilTOP67ciIq03FncpPZrPRwz+Mpn+a7Xkg6pjwn82AxL3Os6qVqvf/Xm7t BJ8g==
X-Google-DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed; d=1e100.net; s=20161025; h=x-gm-message-state:mime-version:sender:in-reply-to:references:from :date:message-id:subject:to:cc; bh=lMPVHHyIXuM+CYGb63QhRhoRf0yBDEfrwvw4HBrrPks=; b=fh0Zi/jY2dxg/dmuLHzx16E6mBXiO1OELpHPmfbaiykMVe5Lsqv6ONBxbszkISp7eZ h93U8TQQedv0jHWgfaWqocYM3/6e58tvnOVuk3Lai3H3FhJ67wOQTxVogTTktxg12JJy uwP30MNRE3kjvWS55qoA0F+pJJ3sXTlrnu89q8ByWqPDk9hueZloMyaru6w7B524/1Qb RppSAs5Z2Y8Ze9CYUfxCqMzgQZGEIAFFqLES0i/2iW2yrYEITayj5Gpp1uzplzOHg1+9 a8SsLr+i9/Mha8A4Q1Dn5YuGOG8I4tZ+bcXMpZlsAW7ehf1EbQmrH+JSW0ssDCfPJL02 qCqw==
X-Gm-Message-State: AN3rC/4E3X0g8eKGaebyhLXrvFkt77UPr7A11XDRuYBfIuA+Cpnbrein t6YsG/0ivJNbj5XAE19basnAgeKtbicO
X-Received: by 10.55.113.134 with SMTP id m128mr25448371qkc.258.1493729095315; Tue, 02 May 2017 05:44:55 -0700 (PDT)
MIME-Version: 1.0
Sender: dr.h.t@ieee.org
Received: by 10.140.30.52 with HTTP; Tue, 2 May 2017 05:44:14 -0700 (PDT)
In-Reply-To: <1848f053-9a5e-2f52-09b4-ce0e1688b557@cysols.com>
References: <56E7D219.7000902@orange.com> <56FBD402.9040102@cisco.com> <56FBDD81.6080502@cysols.com> <11152_1459347064_56FBDE78_11152_10229_1_56FBDE77.6030605@orange.com> <56FBE17E.5090609@cisco.com> <570C9586.7030905@cysols.com> <BLUPR0501MB17151A695785D4D8DD485633D4690@BLUPR0501MB1715.namprd05.prod.outlook.com> <b4249e61-0a11-2ce1-c846-67096858fa2c@cysols.com> <BLUPR0501MB1715A3B288A27A39E99203B8D4490@BLUPR0501MB1715.namprd05.prod.outlook.com> <c757a323-24a7-2696-657e-88f8e15e8a36@cysols.com> <CAPbjwkyFeX-S=sJwNMX-fgWThnMMiu_nF8xvcMow_BgJSfwsSQ@mail.gmail.com> <5e663cf0-1418-c410-bcf8-b235ee73fc29@cysols.com> <CAPbjwkyN0yLkpOXWt8D2-Niw7BCoujF+8JLjrPwgWobF03hZ7g@mail.gmail.com> <6f89f1f2-31e9-bf4a-05e9-1bb6e02f339e@cysols.com> <CAPbjwkyEnCGZEsGKjHozWmg-X-P3483=205BBGV9+DxbfJsDmQ@mail.gmail.com> <03f83a27-e397-818d-65e7-27f95cd6e6e0@cysols.com> <CAPbjwkzkKOULh98QBmbArFWXv=o_pyd7J82u7_GvwkWELdY0Pg@mail.gmail.com> <8f9aaac8-f44d-4844-d376-9c37bd7a81e0@cysols.com> <1848f053-9a5e-2f52-09b4-ce0e1688b557@cysols.com>
From: Hiroshi Tsunoda <tsuno@m.ieice.org>
Date: Tue, 02 May 2017 14:44:14 +0200
X-Google-Sender-Auth: j6ZyOQim-7mU7tkJNF96zyYEFfU
Message-ID: <CAPbjwkzgORotsvYPWF2fqC7icJFXi5z10D1UHDTtYp1wojxw0Q@mail.gmail.com>
To: Glenn Mansfield Keeni <glenn@cysols.com>
Cc: Mach Chen <mach.chen@huawei.com>, "mib-doctors@ietf.org" <mib-doctors@ietf.org>, "Jeffrey (Zhaohui) Zhang" <zzhang@juniper.net>, "EXT - thomas.morin@orange.com" <thomas.morin@orange.com>, Martin Vigoureux <martin.vigoureux@nokia.com>, "bess@ietf.org" <bess@ietf.org>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="UTF-8"
Archived-At: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/bess/NsNfNqN4Xmsmx7iaPyxuPcQJwhs>
Subject: Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn-mcast-mib-07
X-BeenThere: bess@ietf.org
X-Mailman-Version: 2.1.22
Precedence: list
List-Id: BGP-Enabled ServiceS working group discussion list <bess.ietf.org>
List-Unsubscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/options/bess>, <mailto:bess-request@ietf.org?subject=unsubscribe>
List-Archive: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/browse/bess/>
List-Post: <mailto:bess@ietf.org>
List-Help: <mailto:bess-request@ietf.org?subject=help>
List-Subscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/bess>, <mailto:bess-request@ietf.org?subject=subscribe>
X-List-Received-Date: Tue, 02 May 2017 12:48:09 -0000
Dear Glenn, Thank you very much for your thorough review. I have greatly appreciated it. I am going to check and update the draft taking into account your comments. I try to submit the updated draft by the end of next week. Best regards, -- tsuno 2017-05-01 12:32 GMT+02:00 Glenn Mansfield Keeni <glenn@cysols.com>: > Dear Tsuno/Zhang > Thanks for waiting. The review of > draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn-mcast-mib-07 follows. > > Glenn > > C1. Abstract: > The draft now defines 2 MIB modules. Please revise the abstract > and probably the title of the document too. > > C2. The MIBs (L2L3-VPN-MCAST-TC-MIB, L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB) compile OK. > (Three {type-unref} warnings are there, may be ignored.) > > C3. Page 4: > s/3. Summary of MIB Module/ > 3. Summary of MIB Modules/ > > C4. Page 6: L2L3VpnMcastProviderTunnelPointer DESCRIPTION > s/"Denotes a pointer to the row pertaining to a table entry/ > /"This textual convention represents a pointer to a row in > the table represented by the following object of type > L2L3VpnMcastProviderTunnelPointerType./ > > C5. Page 7: L2L3VpnMcastProviderTunnelPointer DESCRIPTION > The explanation in the last paragraph seems out of place. > It may be removed. > > C6 Page 7: L2L3VpnMcastProviderTunnelPointerType DESCRIPTION > it is unclear when the value 'null(0)' will be used. > Is this allowed only when the corresponding object of type > L2L3VpnMcastProviderTunnelPointer has a value that is a > zero-length string ? If yes, please make that clear. > > C7. Page 9: l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeTable DESCRIPTION > s/created by a PE router/maintained by a PE router/ > > C8. Page 12: l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeId > Do you really want to keep this object in L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB. > It will change every time a new "tunnel type" is added to > L2L3VpnMcastProviderTunnelType. That will defeat the purpose > of separating L2L3-VPN-MCAST-TC-MIB from L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB > It may be a good idea to define a textual convention like > L2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeId > in the L2L3-VPN-MCAST-TC-MIB and use that textual convention > in the L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB > > C9. Page 13: l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeId DESCRIPTION > A. s/Thus, the size of this object is 16 octets in IPv4/ > Thus, the size of this object is 8 octets in IPv4/ > B. The last 2 paragraphs do not tie up well with the previous > paragraphs in the DESCRIPTION. > C. In the last paragraph > "this object is a pair of source and group IP addresses" > is unlcear. Please clarify. > > C10. Page 15: Security Considerations > I would think that any field that reveals information about > a Multicast VPN and/or its members is sensitive. > Does the l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeId field reveal > information about the participating members? If yes, it must > be marked as sensitive. > > C11. Editorial: > > A. This does not pertain to the MIBs as such, > but I am uncomfortable with the several variations > of the phrase > "Layer 2 and Layer 3 Virtual Private Networks (VPN) > that support multicast" > that appears in the text. I do not have a solution > on hand but it would be perhaps be more readable to > define and use a simple name/notation the beast for > which the MIB is being designed (e.g. "L2L3VPNMCast"). > > B. Same with the phrase > "Layer 2 (L2) and Layer 3 (L3) VPN (Virtual Private > Network) > it would be probably be easier on the reader if an > abbreviation like L2L3VPNs was used where ever > applicable. > > C12. P2:Para4: s/within MIB module specifications//; > > C13. General: > A. The DESCRIPTION clauses could do would some more > packing. (Too much space at the end of lines) > B. Please check the articles a/an/the once again. Some > usages do not seem right to me. > > > >
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Hiroshi Tsunoda
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn-… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-mvpn-mib-… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-mvpn-… Mach Chen
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Mach Chen
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Jeffrey (Zhaohui) Zhang
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Mach Chen
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Mach Chen
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Jeffrey (Zhaohui) Zhang
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-mvpn-… Mach Chen
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-mvpn-… Jeffrey (Zhaohui) Zhang
- [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn-… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Benoit Claise
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Jeffrey (Zhaohui) Zhang
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Hiroshi Tsunoda
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Hiroshi Tsunoda
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Hiroshi Tsunoda
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Hiroshi Tsunoda
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-mvpn-… Hiroshi Tsunoda
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Hiroshi Tsunoda
- [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn-… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Hiroshi Tsunoda
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Hiroshi Tsunoda
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-mvpn-… thomas.morin
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-mvpn-… Hiroshi Tsunoda
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-mvpn-… thomas.morin
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-mvpn-… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Hiroshi Tsunoda
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-mvpn-… Hiroshi Tsunoda
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-mvpn-… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Hiroshi Tsunoda
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-mvpn-… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-mvpn-… Hiroshi Tsunoda
- Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-… Glenn Mansfield Keeni