Re: [Bridge-mib] I-D ACTION:draft-ietf-bridge-8021x-03.txt

["C. M. Heard" <[e-mail]>]

On Mon, 8 Sep 2003, K.C. Norseth wrote:
> 
> Here is the latest proposed revision to draft-ietf-bridge-8021x-03
> 
> I have added the changes we have been discussing about
> copyright.  I have not added the page formatting on this revison
> yet.  I also have not compiled it yet because I didn't have
> access to libsmi this weekend.
> 
> How is this?  Comments, suggestions?

KC -

The MIB module compiles just fine, with or without the changes I
sugggest below.  When you don't have a MIB compiler installed
locally, you can always use the smilint e-mail robot at
[e-mail];  for instructions see
http://www.ops.ietf.org/mib-review-tools.html

Anyway, I would like to suggest making the following changes before
final submission to the I-D repository:

1.) Update the MIB boilerplate per the latest template at
http://www.ops.ietf.org/mib-boilerplate.html (this will let you cut
out a lot of references)

2.) At the start of Section 4, where the changes are listed, use the
past tense (the original mistake was mine).  The change is:

OLD:
       - Replace all non-ascii double quotes and apostrophes by the
         equivalent ASCII characters;

       - In the MODULE-IDENTITY value assignment change
         "iso(1)" to "iso";

       - Add dot1xPaePortReauthenticate and
         dot1xAuthSessionUserName to
         the appropriate conformance groups.

NEW:
       - Replaced all non-ascii double quotes and apostrophes by the
         equivalent ASCII characters;

       - In the MODULE-IDENTITY value assignment changed
         "iso(1)" to "iso";

       - Added dot1xPaePortReauthenticate and
         dot1xAuthSessionUserName to
         the appropriate conformance groups.

3.) Change the ASN.1 comment block at the beginning of the MIB
module by removing the URL.

OLD:
  -- ---------------------------------------------------------- --
  -- IEEE 802.1X MIB
  -- http://www.ieee802.org/1/files/public/MIBs/802-1x-2001-mib.txt
  -- ---------------------------------------------------------- --


NEW:
  -- ---------------------------------------------------------- --
  -- IEEE 802.1X MIB
  -- ---------------------------------------------------------- --

Rationale: the version of the MIB module in this documents isn't
quite the same as the version at that URL, and that's explained in
detail (with the URL) in the REVISION clause.

3.) Change the LAST-UPDATED date to match the most recent REVISION
date.

OLD:
 ieee8021paeMIB MODULE-IDENTITY
    LAST-UPDATED "200101160000Z"

NEW:
 ieee8021paeMIB MODULE-IDENTITY
    LAST-UPDATED "200309050000Z"

4.) In the REVISION clauses, align the columns, change to the past
tense (as in #2 above), and eliminate the old commented-out
MODULE-IDENTITY value since that change is now explained in the
REVISION clause.

OLD:
    REVISION     "200309050000Z"
    DESCRIPTION  "The IETF published version as in RFC xxxx.

                    The IETF Bridge-mib WG made the following changes:
                    - Replaced all non-ascii double quotes and
                      apostrophes by the equivalent ASCII characters;
                    - In the MODULE-IDENTITY value assignment change
                      'iso(1)' to 'iso';
                    - Add dot1xPaePortReauthenticate and
                      dot1xAuthSessionUserName to the appropriate
                      conformance groups.
                   "
      REVISION     "200101160000Z"  -- Jan 16th, 2001
      DESCRIPTION  "The initial and authoritative version as
                    published at:
      http://www.ieee802.org/1/files/public/MIBs/802-1x-2001-mib.txt
                   "

  --    ::= { iso(1) std(0) iso8802(8802) ieee802dot1(1)
  --          ieee802dot1mibs(1) 1 }
  ::= { iso std(0) iso8802(8802) ieee802dot1(1) ieee802dot1mibs(1) 1 }

NEW:
    REVISION     "200309050000Z"
    DESCRIPTION  "The IETF published version as in RFC xxxx.

                  The IETF Bridge-mib WG made the following changes:
                    - Replaced all non-ascii double quotes and
                      apostrophes by the equivalent ASCII characters;
                    - In the MODULE-IDENTITY value assignment changed
                      'iso(1)' to 'iso';
                    - Added dot1xPaePortReauthenticate and
                      dot1xAuthSessionUserName to the appropriate
                      conformance groups.
                 "
    REVISION     "200101160000Z"  -- Jan 16th, 2001
    DESCRIPTION  "The initial and authoritative version as published at:
          http://www.ieee802.org/1/files/public/MIBs/802-1x-2001-mib.txt
                 "

    ::= { iso std(0) iso8802(8802) ieee802dot1(1)
          ieee802dot1mibs(1) 1 }

Rationale:  improved appearance, and commented out MODULE-IDENTITY
value is no longer needed since the change is documented in the
REVISION clause.

5.) In the DESCRIPTION clause of
dot1xAuthBackendNonNakResponsesFromSupplicant re-instate an
apostrophe which was present (but in non-ASCII form) in the
original:

OLD:
        the Supplicant can respond to the Authenticators

NEW:
        the Supplicant can respond to the Authenticator's

6.) Add [RFC2863] and [RFC3411] to the list of normative references,
since the MIB module imports from IF-MIB and SNMP-FRAMEWORK-MIB.
Also, move [RFC1213] here since its system group is listed in the
text as being a prerequisite (and consider supplementing it with or
replacing it by [RFC3418] here and in the text).  Move [RFC2571] to
the informative references or eliminate it.  Summary:

 [IEEESTD8021]
 [RFC1213] --> consider supplementing with (or replacing by) [RFC3418]
 [RFC2578]
 [RFC2579]
 [RFC2580]
 [RFC2863] --> for import FROM IF-MIB
 [RFC3411] --> for import FROM SNMP-FRAMEWORK-MIB
 [8021XAUTH]
 [8021XSUPP]

7.) Eliminate [RFC1213] and [RFC2863] from the list of informative
references, since they are normative.  Use [RFC2665] in place of
[RFC1284] [RFC1369] [RFC1398] [RFC1643] [RFC1650].  Remove [RFC2119]
since you don't cite it or use the keywords it defines (if you did
it would have to be a normative reference).  And if you agree to use
the new boilerplate as suggested in #1 above, all the rest can be
replaced by [RFC3410].  Summary:

 [RFC3411] --> assumes that you use new boilerplate
 [RFC2665] --> in place of [RFC1284] [RFC1369] [RFC1398] [RFC1643] [RFC1650]

8.) Update the Security Considerations section to conform to the
latest template at http://www.ops.ietf.org/mib-security.html (this
is particularly important to do if you change the boilerplate and
references as suggested above).

9.) Revise the Full Copyright Statement to disallow derivative works
other than extraction of the MIB module.

OLD:
   Copyright (C) The Internet Society (2003). All Rights Reserved.

   This document and translations of it may be copied and furnished to
   others, and derivative works that comment on or otherwise explain it
   or assist in its implementation may be prepared, copied, published
   and distributed, in whole or in part, without restriction of any
   kind, provided that the above copyright notice and this paragraph are
   included on all such copies and derivative works.  However, this
   document itself may not be modified in any way, such as by removing
   the copyright notice or references to the Internet Society or other
   Internet organizations, except as needed for the  purpose of
   developing Internet standards in which case the procedures for
   copyrights defined in the Internet Standards process must be
   followed, or as required to translate it into languages other than
   English.

NEW:
   Copyright (C) The Internet Society (2003). All Rights Reserved.

   This document and translations of it may be copied and furnished to
   others provided that the above copyright notice and this paragraph
   are included on all such copies.  However, this document itself may
   not be modified in any way, such as by removing the copyright notice
   or references to the Internet Society or other Internet
   organizations, except as required to translate it into languages
   other than English, and derivative works of it may not be created,
   other than to extract the MIB module in Section 4 as-is for separate
   use.

Note to WG members:  the text above adapted from the Full Copyright
Statement in RFC 3394, with the derivative works modification
suggested by section 5.2 of draft-ietf-ipr-submission-rights-07.txt.
This deviation from the standard copyright will have to be approved
by the IAB, but I think it is appropriate for this document, where
the IEEE retains change control over the MIB module.

Thanks,

Mike Heard


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