Re: [Cbor] 🔔 WGLC with request for reviews on cbor-network-addresses-05

[Marco Tiloca <[e-mail]>]

Hi all,

I've reviewed the document and it looks good to me. Please, see below a 
few minor comments.

Best,
/Marco


[Section 1]

* The normative statement "Prefixes MUST omit ..." feels strange for the 
introduction, also as the recap of BCP14 terminology comes after that. I 
suggest to rather use "must omit" or even just "omit"; the intended 
normative text comes later on in Section 3.1 and 3.2 anyway.


[Section 3]

* Maybe some details can be made clearer in the third from last 
paragraph. For instance, it can be easier here to think only in terms of 
bit lengths. Proposed rephrasing

    "Then, taking whichever is smaller between the length in bits of the 
included byte-string and the prefix-length possibly rounded up to the 
next multiple of 8, copy that many bits from the byte-string into the 
array."

* I guess "of 8 values" should be "with value 8" ?


== Nits ==

[Section 1]

s/261 was later/261 were later

s/addressees/addresses

In the second and third paragraph, I suggest to use only "document" 
rather than "specification", consistently with the rest of the text.

In the third paragraph, please add a ',' after "testing" :-)


[Section 3]

s/can applied/can be applied


[Section 4]

s/otherewise/otherwise


[Section 5]

s/for implementation/for implementations

s/set it/and then set it

s/the lower bits, non/the lower, non


On 2021-07-16 17:23, Barry Leiba wrote:
> Hello CBOR group,
>
> This mail marks the start of a two week working group last call on
> cbor-network-addresses[1], which will end at the CBOR meeting of
> IETF111.
>
> While this document has been discussed during interims and on the
> list, the number of participants discussing it so far is small.  I'd
> appreciate a few more reviews on this before we proceed with it.
>
> Everyone, please have a look at the latest version  -- it's small,
> just a few pages of actual content -- and post a review to the list.
> Even, "I've reviewed it and it's ready to go," is useful.
>
> Thanks,
> Barry
>
> [1]: https://eur02.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fdatatracker.ietf.org%2Fdoc%2Fdraft-ietf-cbor-network-addresses%2F&data=04%7C01%7Cmarco.tiloca%40ri.se%7C83296b46a4af4ff9edcb08d9486db2b2%7C5a9809cf0bcb413a838a09ecc40cc9e8%7C0%7C0%7C637620458272270158%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJWIjoiMC4wLjAwMDAiLCJQIjoiV2luMzIiLCJBTiI6Ik1haWwiLCJXVCI6Mn0%3D%7C1000&sdata=Ie2Pi5EFq5W2y8Yo2qtReGFTD3trXaYoqEOQND6GBTQ%3D&reserved=0
>
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-- 
Marco Tiloca
Ph.D., Senior Researcher

Division: Digital System
Department: Computer Science
Unit: Cybersecurity

RISE Research Institutes of Sweden
https://www.ri.se

Phone: [phone]
Isafjordsgatan 22 / Kistagången 16
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