Re: [CCAMP] FW: I-D Action: draft-ietf-ccamp-l1csm-yang-03.txt

[Leeyoung <[e-mail]>]

Hi Tom,



Good to know it is getting there! Thanks for your further comments. Please see inline for my comment.

The actual update is now frozen; so it will be done during the IETF week once the update window is re-open.



Thanks.

Young



-----Original Message-----
From: t.petch [mailto:[e-mail]]
Sent: Wednesday, July 04, 2018 4:56 AM
To: Leeyoung <[e-mail]>; [e-mail]
Subject: Re: [CCAMP] FW: I-D Action: draft-ietf-ccamp-l1csm-yang-03.txt



Getting there!



Abstract

The IESG have takent to asking for something of the like of This YANG model is NDMA-compliant.

at the end of the Abstract



YL>> OK. We can add "This YANG model is NMDA-compliant."



1.Introduction



NETCONF gets a mention but, as Security Consideratons says, RESTCONF is also an option in which case I think it should appear here (unless you think it inappropriate in which case I also think it should appear here!).



YL>> Agree.



1.2

   The terminology for describing YANG data models is found in

   [RFC6020].

Nope try RFC 7950



YL>> Thanks. Agree.





YANG terminology is a mess at present.  RFC8342 has redefined some terms and not others so that draft-ietf-netconf-nmda-netconf just references RFC8342 and says no more; that RFC does define



o client

o server



but does not define



o configuration data

o state data

o augment

o data model

o data node



I think that the best you can do for now is to reference RFC7950 and RFC6241.



YL>>  Agree. It looks like: RFC 7950 defines: client, server, data model, data node, augment; RFC 6241 configuration data, state data.



You need a Note to the RFC Editor asking them to change the date to the date of publication in two places in both modules - by that time, there should be only the one revision clause in each module stating 'Initial Version' although up until then, you go on inserting clauses for the different versions of the I-D; I would still add the Note now.





You need reference clauses in the YANG module - having references in Section 1.4  is not enough as the YANG module has to be complete in stand alone ASCII - see how

    draft-ietf-ccamp-mw-yang

handles this



YL>> OK. I will add that.



      leaf time-interval {

        type int16;

mmm I do not see how int16 can count up to 2,419,200 ; int64 sis seem excessive but I think that int32 is needed



YL>> Correct. Int32 would be good.



Since

'one way severely errored second'

is the ITU-T term, then I think that you should have the ITU-T reference direct and not expect the reader to think of looking to see if it is in the MEF reference



   [MEF-L1CS] "Subscriber Layer 1 Connectivity Service Attributes",

             Working Draft (WD) v0.09 December 13, 2017.

does not enable me to locate the document;  MEF suggests MEF but I would like more; look for example at how

   draft-ietf-lime-yang-connection-oriented-oam-model

handles this



YL>> I still disagree with this. I try to avoid "double referencing". Besides, there are more than 20 references from ITU-T, IEEE, ANSI and Telcordia if we were to be comprehensively referencing. I'd like to defer this issue to WG chairs. If your company is a MEF member, you should get the document from MEF wiki. If not, there should be ways to get you the MEF document as MEF initiated a liaison with IETF/CCAMP on this work.



RFC6991 is an import and so needs to be a Normative not Informative Reference for the I-D.



YL>> OK. This is fine.



I have yet to go through the YANG modules in detail but it will be a while before I have time to do that..



Tom Petch



----- Original Message -----

From: "Leeyoung" <[e-mail]<mailto:[e-mail]>>

To: "t.petch" <[e-mail]<mailto:[e-mail]>>; <[e-mail]<mailto:[e-mail]>>

Sent: Tuesday, July 03, 2018 4:01 PM





Hi Tom,



The draft has been updated yesterday. Please see https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-ccamp-l1csm-yang/?include_te

xt=1



See also the attached diff file that compares versions 4 and 5.



Please see inline for my specific comment to your comment. Let us know if there are any other concerns you may have.







Thanks.



Young



-----Original Message-----

From: t.petch [mailto:[e-mail]]

Sent: Tuesday, June 26, 2018 11:31 AM

To: Leeyoung <[e-mail]<mailto:[e-mail]>>; [e-mail]<mailto:[e-mail]>

Subject: Re: [CCAMP] FW: I-D Action: draft-ietf-ccamp-l1csm-yang-03.txt







Thanks for fixing the indentation; much easier to comment on!







Two major thoughts.







First, how attached are you to l1, that is letter l followed by digit 1 ?  I know it makes sense but I also know many contexts in which that would not be allowed because the probability of confusion is so great, with the digit being read as the letter i or letter l or the letter being read as a digit  or ...  I think that this needs careful consideration; I was making mistakes reading the I-D on the comfort of a proper PC with good resolution etc (but with oldish eyes:-(







YL>> We can discuss this issue during the WG meeting in Montreal. I

don't have much preference on this.







Second, references need some work.  You identify the YANG modules as version 1.1 but have an Informative Reference - must be Normative - to YANG 1.0; confusing.  The Security Considerations are not the current one;  e.g. you should reference RESTCONF and SSH. Might I suggest looking at



draft-ietf-ccamp-mw-yang-06 ? And the section does reference RFC6241 and



RFC6536 which I cannot see in the Normative References







YL>> I think we have addressed theses references issues.







s.1    controller via a Netconf[RFC6020] interface.



No; NETCONF is not RFC6020







YL>> Corrected.







In the identity coding func you reference clauses 49, 82 and such like - these need reference clauses to the relevant specification in the YANG module.  This probably applies to most of these definitions (although one comprehensive reference to any one document would suffice).







YL>> We put the MEF reference in the YANG module as well as in the

Reference Section from which all the terms and the original references for specific clauses can be checked.







You need YANG reference clauses for



  import ietf-yang-types



and



  import ietf-l1-mef-service-types {







YL>> This was already done in Section 1.4. Let us know if this is what

you meant.







Likewise I recognise e.g. 'one way severely errored second' as a technical term of the ITU-T; if that is what you intend, then these all need a reference to the current ITU-T Recommendation.  If not, more explanation is needed







YL>> It is indeed ITU-T term. The MEF document referenced has the

original ITU-T references.







You need YANG reference clauses for



  import ietf-yang-types



and



  import ietf-l1-mef-service-types {







YL>> I think this is the same comment as above.







Besides this,



- the running footing tells me that this is valid until 2028.







YL>> I am not sure which one you are pointing. If this is not fixed with

the revision, please let us know which one you are referring to.







-s 1.4 references [This I-D]



Suggest RFC XXXX (and add a note up front to the RFC Editor asking them to replace XXXX with the number assigned to the RFC)







YL>> We corrected. See Section 1.4 for this.







-  grouping protocol-coding-optical_interface {



    description  "describes <p,c,o>";



p c o are not expanded in the YANG module - they need to be







YL>> We added description for each term.







-  grouping subscriber-l1vc-sls-service-attribute {



    description



      "The value of the Subscriber L1VC SLS (Service Level



        Specification) Service Attribute expressed in a 3-tuple



        of the form.";



leaves me asking what form does the 3-tuple take?







YL>> We added comment that the 3-tuple is <p,c,o>.







-      leaf time-interval {



        type int64;



        units seconds;



        description "a time interval (e.g., 1 month) ...



int64 is a lot of seconds and anyway cannot be used to express a month since a month is a number of different lengths.  If a month is a sensible time (seems long to me) then change it to 28 day and give the value for 28 day in second and perhaps provide a default as that.  And how about a range limiting this to something sensible (lest a typo sets it to 2028 years)







YL>> We added an example with 28 days and changed int64 to int 16.







-      leaf subscriber-l1vc-ep-id-1 { type string;



        description "subscriber end point ID";  }







      leaf subscriber-l1vc-ep-id-2 { type string;



        description "subscriber end point ID"; Spot the difference - I can't!







YL>> we added "subscriber end point ID for one end" and "subscriber end

point ID for the other end" to differentiate these two terms.



-  container l1cs



This is the sort of identifier I expect to be frequently misspelt!







YL>>  I would stick to this for now until we have discussion in the f2f

meeting.







Enough for now







Tom Petch







----- Original Message -----



From: "t.petch" <[e-mail]<mailto:[e-mail]<mailto:[e-mail]%3cmailto:[e-mail]>>>



To: "Leeyoung" <[e-mail]<mailto:[e-mail]<mailto:[e-mail]%3cmailto:[e-mail]>>>;

<[e-mail]<mailto:[e-mail]<mailto:[e-mail]%3cmailto:[e-mail]>>>



Sent: Saturday, June 23, 2018 9:07 PM



Subject: Re: [CCAMP] FW: I-D Action: draft-ietf-ccamp-l1csm-yang-03.txt











> Young



>



> The most significant comment, for me, is the one about the



indentation;



> there came a point where I gave up trying to follow the I-D because it





> was so hard, so fix that and likely more comments will follow:-)



>



> Tom Petch



>



> ----- Original Message -----



> From: "Leeyoung" <[e-mail]<mailto:[e-mail]<mailto:[e-mail]%3cmailto:[e-mail]>>>



> To: <[e-mail]<mailto:[e-mail]<mailto:[e-mail]%3cmailto:[e-mail]>>>



> Sent: Thursday, June 21, 2018 11:43 PM



>



> > Hi WG,



> >



> > This revision had some error in the date field in the yang model. So



> it is corrected; Tom's comments will be incorporated in the next



version



> (04).



> >



> > Thanks,



> > Young



> >



> > -----Original Message-----



> > From: CCAMP [mailto:[e-mail]] On Behalf Of



> [e-mail]<mailto:[e-mail]<mailto:[e-mail]%3cmailto:[e-mail]>>



> > Sent: Thursday, June 21, 2018 5:35 PM



> > To: [e-mail]<mailto:[e-mail]<mailto:[e-mail]%3cmailto:[e-mail]>>



> > Cc: [e-mail]<mailto:[e-mail]<mailto:[e-mail]%3cmailto:[e-mail]>>



> > Subject: [CCAMP] I-D Action: draft-ietf-ccamp-l1csm-yang-03.txt



> >



> >



> > A New Internet-Draft is available from the on-line Internet-Drafts



> directories.



> > This draft is a work item of the Common Control and Measurement



Plane



> WG of the IETF.



> >



> >         Title           : A Yang Data Model for L1 Connectivity



> Service Model (L1CSM)



> >         Authors         : G. Fioccola



> >                           K. Lee



> >                           Y. Lee



> >                           D. Dhody



> >                           D. Ceccarelli



> > Filename        : draft-ietf-ccamp-l1csm-yang-03.txt



> > Pages           : 24



> > Date            : 2018-06-21



> >



> > Abstract:



> >    This document provides a YANG data model for Layer 1 Connectivity



> >    Service Model (L1CSM).



> >



> >



> >



> >



> > The IETF datatracker status page for this draft is:



> > https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-ccamp-l1csm-yang/



> >



> > There are also htmlized versions available at:



> > https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-ccamp-l1csm-yang-03



> > https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-ietf-ccamp-l1csm-yang-03



> >



> > A diff from the previous version is available at:



> > https://www.ietf.org/rfcdiff?url2=draft-ietf-ccamp-l1csm-yang-03



> >



> >



> > Please note that it may take a couple of minutes from the time of



> submission until the htmlized version and diff are available at



> tools.ietf.org.



> >



> > Internet-Drafts are also available by anonymous FTP at:



> > ftp://ftp.ietf.org/internet-drafts/



> >



> > _______________________________________________



> > CCAMP mailing list



> > [e-mail]<mailto:[e-mail]<mailto:[e-mail]%3cmailto:[e-mail]>>



> > https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/ccamp



> >



> > _______________________________________________



> > CCAMP mailing list



> > [e-mail]<mailto:[e-mail]<mailto:[e-mail]%3cmailto:[e-mail]>>



> > https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/ccamp



>



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