Re: [CCAMP] FW: I-D Action: draft-ietf-ccamp-mw-yang-03.txt

Jonas Ahlberg <jonas.ahlberg@ericsson.com> Mon, 05 March 2018 08:02 UTC

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From: Jonas Ahlberg <jonas.ahlberg@ericsson.com>
To: t.petch <ietfc@btconnect.com>, "ccamp@ietf.org" <ccamp@ietf.org>
Thread-Topic: [CCAMP] FW: I-D Action: draft-ietf-ccamp-mw-yang-03.txt
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Date: Mon, 5 Mar 2018 08:02:20 +0000
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Archived-At: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/ccamp/F7HBVoonC4CUSR5W2cC2yiE0QS4>
Subject: Re: [CCAMP] FW: I-D Action: draft-ietf-ccamp-mw-yang-03.txt
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Hi Tom,
I tried to address your comments in time to make a new submission before the cut-off time today. Maybe I was too quick, but I expect that we will get more comments after our presentation/discussion at IETF101 and we plan for a new submission after that. Then we will include your comments as well. Once again, thanks for your effort to review our draft.

Regards
JonasA

-----Original Message-----
From: t.petch [mailto:ietfc@btconnect.com] 
Sent: den 3 mars 2018 14:07
To: Jonas Ahlberg <jonas.ahlberg@ericsson.com>om>; ccamp@ietf.org
Subject: Re: [CCAMP] FW: I-D Action: draft-ietf-ccamp-mw-yang-03.txt

Jonas

That was quick.  You have addressed almost all my comments  (I was expecting more time to have another read - I am sure I had some typos which I have not found on a further read!)

I still see
ID-draft editors:
in the contact clause which is true right now but which should become
Editors:
at some point.

You have added a note the the RFC Editor for most but not quite all the uses of XXXX - the ones that might be added are in the IANA Requirements.  (There are so many XXXX these days that some editors just put a blanket statement at the top rather than trying to flag each one).

 Requirements Language
These days usually includes a reference  to  [RFC8174]  - see for example draft-ietf-netmod-rfc7223bis

Finally, the decimal point is represented in places with a period and in places with a comma; USA versus Europe perhaps. I am ok with it and suspect that this is a deliberate choice on your part and is probably the right choice for the technical content but might raise some comment.
.
Tom Petch


----- Original Message -----
From: "Jonas Ahlberg" <jonas.ahlberg@ericsson.com>
To: "t.petch" <ietfc@btconnect.com>om>; <ccamp@ietf.org>
Sent: Saturday, March 03, 2018 11:11 AM

Hi Tom,

Thank you very much for your review of the microwave yang draft.
We hope that we have addressed your comments in the 04 revision of the draft uploaded today.

Thanks again,
JonasA


A new version of I-D, draft-ietf-ccamp-mw-yang-04.txt has been successfully submitted by Jonas Ahlberg and posted to the IETF repository.

Name: draft-ietf-ccamp-mw-yang
Revision: 04
Title: A YANG Data Model for Microwave Radio Link Document date: 2018-03-03
Group: ccamp
Pages: 46
URL:
https://www.ietf.org/internet-drafts/draft-ietf-ccamp-mw-yang-04.txt
Status:
https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-ccamp-mw-yang/
Htmlized:       https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-ccamp-mw-yang-04
Htmlized:
https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-ietf-ccamp-mw-yang-04
Diff:
https://www.ietf.org/rfcdiff?url2=draft-ietf-ccamp-mw-yang-04

Abstract:
   This document defines a YANG data model for control and management
   of the radio link interfaces, and their connectivity to packet
   (typically Ethernet) interfaces in a microwave/millimeter wave node.
   The data nodes for management of the interface protection
   functionality is broken out into a separate and generic YANG data
   model in order to make it available also for other interface types.


-----Original Message-----
From: t.petch [mailto:ietfc@btconnect.com]
Sent: den 1 mars 2018 12:06
To: Jonas Ahlberg <jonas.ahlberg@ericsson.com>om>; ccamp@ietf.org
Subject: Re: [CCAMP] FW: I-D Action: draft-ietf-ccamp-mw-yang-03.txt

Jonas

Some administrative thoughts on the YANG in  this I-D, most applying to both YANG modules.

The contact list has  i-d draft authors; suggest editors

The description clause copyright statement is incomplete.

The description clause lacks a statement as to which RFC this comes from.

The revision should say 'Initial revision'

Add an RFC editor note to replace the dates (plural)

The case of xxxx varies; suggest making it XXXX and adding note to the RFC Editor to replace <all> occurrences thereof.  Some in the YANG module might get missed (and some authors use xxxx to mean one thing and XXXX for something else:-).

import ietf-interface-protection
add a reference; in the RFC it may be obvious where this can be found but when the YANG module is extracted and on its own, there will be hundreds of potential RFC to choose from

import iana-if-type
Again I would add a reference - I know, it is well known but I am  fan of stating the obvious in a technical document

 import ietf-yang-types
ditto

You reference rfc7223bis
Suggest adding a note to the RFC Editor to replace this with the number assigned to that when it becomes an RFC; the RFC Editor has asked for such a note.

ETSI References need more work.  The YANG module has references to  ETSI TR 102 311  ETSI EN 302 217-1  ETSI EN 301 129 all of which should appear in the Normative References of the I-D and none of which do; and they then need to appear in the text part of the I-D lest they are flagged as unused references

You do have
EN 302 217-2 [EN302217-2]
but that is a different version:-)

And there is a general problem; the reference clause uses ETSI EN 302
217-1 whereas the existing Reference for EN302217-2 drops the ETSI and drops the spaces; obviously the same?  May be.

So I think you should include a paragraph, or table, perhaps as Section
4.1 saying something like

"   This module imports typedefs from [RFC6991] and
   [RFC7223bis], ....

 and it references

 ETSI TR 102 311  [TR102311]
 ETSI EN 302 217-1 [EN302217-1]
 ETSI EN 301 129 [EN301129]    "
which is the sort of thing that
draft-ietf-netmod-rfc7277bis
does.

reference "ITU-T G.826";
reference "ITU-T Rec. G.808.1";
ditto
(and perhaps making the style the same, with or without Rec., even spelling it out )

 Tom Petch

----- Original Message -----
From: "Jonas Ahlberg" <jonas.ahlberg@ericsson.com>
To: <ccamp@ietf.org>
Sent: Monday, February 26, 2018 1:35 PM

> Dear CCAMPers,
>
> The draft of the YANG Data Model for Microwave Radio Link has now been
updated.
> The structure, format and content of the document have been changed to
adhere to "Guidelines for Authors and Reviewers of YANG Data Model Documents", draft-ietf-netmod-rfc6087bis-15.
> A few editorial changes of the actual yang models have also been done,
but the structure and content remains however the same.
>
> In all, the authors believe the draft addresses all the comments and
would like to ask for WG LC.
>
> BR,
> JonasA (on behalf of the co-authors)
>
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: CCAMP [mailto:ccamp-bounces@ietf.org] On Behalf Of
internet-drafts@ietf.org
> Sent: den 26 februari 2018 14:23
> To: i-d-announce@ietf.org
> Cc: ccamp@ietf.org
> Subject: [CCAMP] I-D Action: draft-ietf-ccamp-mw-yang-03.txt
>
>
> A New Internet-Draft is available from the on-line Internet-Drafts
directories.
> This draft is a work item of the Common Control and Measurement Plane
WG of the IETF.
>
>         Title           : A YANG Data Model for Microwave Radio Link
>         Authors         : Jonas Ahlberg
>                           Ye Min
>                           Xi Li
>                           Daniela Spreafico
>                           Marko Vaupotic
> Filename        : draft-ietf-ccamp-mw-yang-03.txt
> Pages           : 44
> Date            : 2018-02-26
>
> Abstract:
>    This document defines a YANG data model for control and management
>    of the radio link interfaces, and their connectivity to packet
>    (typically Ethernet) interfaces in a microwave/millimeter wave
node.
>    The data nodes for management of the interface protection
>    functionality is broken out into a separate and generic YANG data
>    model in order to make it available also for other interface types.
>
>
> The IETF datatracker status page for this draft is:
> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-ccamp-mw-yang/
>
> There are also htmlized versions available at:
> https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-ccamp-mw-yang-03
> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-ietf-ccamp-mw-yang-03
>
> A diff from the previous version is available at:
> https://www.ietf.org/rfcdiff?url2=draft-ietf-ccamp-mw-yang-03
>
>
> Please note that it may take a couple of minutes from the time of
submission until the htmlized version and diff are available at tools.ietf.org.
>
> Internet-Drafts are also available by anonymous FTP at:
> ftp://ftp.ietf.org/internet-drafts/
>
> _______________________________________________
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