Re: [CCAMP] I-D Action: draft-ietf-ccamp-wson-yang-16.txt

Leeyoung <leeyoung@huawei.com> Tue, 27 November 2018 16:07 UTC

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From: Leeyoung <leeyoung@huawei.com>
To: tom petch <ietfc@btconnect.com>, "ccamp@ietf.org" <ccamp@ietf.org>
Thread-Topic: I-D Action: draft-ietf-ccamp-wson-yang-16.txt
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Date: Tue, 27 Nov 2018 16:07:15 +0000
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Subject: Re: [CCAMP] I-D Action: draft-ietf-ccamp-wson-yang-16.txt
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Hi Tom,

A bit more editing -- Added RFC8446 in the Security Section per https://trac.ietf.org/trac/ops/wiki/yang-security-guidelines 

Please see the diff https://www.ietf.org/rfcdiff?url2=draft-ietf-ccamp-wson-yang-17 and let us know if there is any further fix needed. 

Thanks.
Young

-----Original Message-----
From: Leeyoung
Sent: Monday, November 26, 2018 4:40 PM
To: 'tom petch' <ietfc@btconnect.com>;; ccamp@ietf.org
Subject: RE: I-D Action: draft-ietf-ccamp-wson-yang-16.txt

Hi Tom,

Thanks for your comments. Please see the attached diff file that compares v16 and v17. I believe all your comments have been incorporated except RFC8446 (TLS3.1) reference. Please also see inline for my response to each of your comments. 

Let me know if you have any further comments. 

Best regards,
Young

-----Original Message-----
From: tom petch [mailto:ietfc@btconnect.com]
Sent: Tuesday, November 20, 2018 11:28 AM
To: ccamp@ietf.org
Cc: Leeyoung <leeyoung@huawei.com>;
Subject: Re: I-D Action: draft-ietf-ccamp-wson-yang-16.txt

I think that this I-D needs some more work on it.

- I have never seen a YANG module with so few Normative References; in fact, you cannot validly have one with so few.  Recall that Normative means you need to understand them in order to understand the I-D and at the very least RFC7950 is in that category and I suspect most of the others are too (but not RFC8340).

YL>> Agree. 

- IANA Considerations references RFC7950; all this RFC does is tell the reader to go to RFC6020 so that should be the reference here.

YL>> Added. 

- The Security Considerations is not current - it lacks any mention of RESTCONF.  This will require Normative References to RFC6241, RFC6242,
RFC8341 amd RFC8446.

YL>> Added RESRCONF reference. Normative References to RFC6241, RFC6242, and RFC8341 were added. TLS1.3 reference, RFC8446 was not added. I was not sure how this one relates to the draft. 

RFC6536 is referenced but not in the I-D References

YL>> Added. 

The Abstract and Introduction fail to mention whether or not the modules are NMDA-compliant.

YL>> Added/

The YANG module has a lower case 'must' but no indication in the body of the I-D as to how this should be interpreted.

YL>> Added Section 1.1 Requirements Language section. 

The YANG module contains

" ...the generic TE topology module [TE-TOPO] based on the information model developed in [RFC7446] and the two encoding documents [RFC7581] and [RFC7579] that developed protocol independent encodings based on [RFC7446]. "
AYANG module must be plain text so XML-style references in the module itself are not permitted; all those [....] look suspiciously like references in which case, they must go.

YL>> Removed all the references and its related text. 

The YANG module 'import' statements

 import ietf-network {   prefix "nw";  }
 import ietf-network-topology {    prefix "nt";  }
 import ietf-te-topology {    prefix "tet";  }
 import ietf-layer0-types {    prefix "layer0-types";

need to reference the RFC where these modules can be found, e.g.
  import ietf-network { prefix "nw";
   reference "RFC 8345: A YANG Data Model for Network Topologies"; }

YL>> Added reference statement for each imported module.

The YANG module references
RFC6163
RFC6205
RFC7698
none of which are in the References.  'reference' statements in the module must be plain text but the document must be referenced from the body of the I-D with a suitable entry in the References of the I-D.

YL>> Added all of these in  the reference section. 

module ietf-layer0-types
lacks a YANG version statement.

YL>> Added. 

Tom Petch

----- Original Message -----
From: <internet-drafts@ietf.org>;
To: <i-d-announce@ietf.org>;
Cc: <ccamp@ietf.org>;
Sent: Monday, November 19, 2018 6:00 PM
Subject: I-D Action: draft-ietf-ccamp-wson-yang-16.txt


>
> A New Internet-Draft is available from the on-line Internet-Drafts
directories.
> This draft is a work item of the Common Control and Measurement Plane
WG of the IETF.
>
>         Title           : A YANG Data Model for WSON Optical Networks
>         Authors         : Young Lee
>                           Dhruv Dhody
>                           Aihua Guo
>                           Victor Lopez
>                           Daniel King
> Filename        : draft-ietf-ccamp-wson-yang-16.txt
> Pages           : 74
> Date            : 2018-11-19
>
> Abstract:
>    This document provides a YANG data model for the routing and
>    wavelength assignment (RWA) TE topology in wavelength switched
>    optical networks (WSONs).
>
>
>
>
> The IETF datatracker status page for this draft is:
> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-ccamp-wson-yang/
>
> There are also htmlized versions available at:
> https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-ccamp-wson-yang-16
> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-ietf-ccamp-wson-yang-16
>
> A diff from the previous version is available at:
> https://www.ietf.org/rfcdiff?url2=draft-ietf-ccamp-wson-yang-16
>
>
> Please note that it may take a couple of minutes from the time of
submission
> until the htmlized version and diff are available at tools.ietf.org.
>
> Internet-Drafts are also available by anonymous FTP at:
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>
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