Re: [CCAMP] I-D Action: draft-ietf-ccamp-wson-yang-17.txt

Leeyoung <leeyoung@huawei.com> Mon, 03 December 2018 21:48 UTC

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From: Leeyoung <leeyoung@huawei.com>
To: tom petch <ietfc@btconnect.com>, "ccamp@ietf.org" <ccamp@ietf.org>
Thread-Topic: I-D Action: draft-ietf-ccamp-wson-yang-17.txt
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Date: Mon, 3 Dec 2018 21:48:08 +0000
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Subject: Re: [CCAMP] I-D Action: draft-ietf-ccamp-wson-yang-17.txt
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Hi Tom,



Thanks again for your comments. Hope this is the last one :) Please see inline for my comments.



Attached is a diff file that compares v17 and v18.



Thanks & best regards,

Young



-----Original Message-----

From: tom petch [mailto:ietfc@btconnect.com]

Sent: Thursday, November 29, 2018 9:12 AM

To: Leeyoung <leeyoung@huawei.com>;; ccamp@ietf.org

Subject: Re: I-D Action: draft-ietf-ccamp-wson-yang-17.txt



Looking better, still needs a few tweaks IMHO.



Title; varies

A YANG Data Model for WSON Optical Networks A YANG Data Model for WSON (Wavelenghth Switched Optical Networks)



neither of which seem quite right; perhaps A YANG Data Model for WSON (Wavelength Switched Optical Networks)



YL>> Yes. Agree with "A YANG Data Model for WSON (Wavelength Switched Optical Networks)".



reference

   "RFC XXX: A YANG Data Model for...

/XXX/XXXX/



YL>> Yes, it should be four digits.





OLD

  import ietf-te-topology {    prefix "tet";  }

   reference

      "draft-ietf-teas-yang-te-topo-18: YANG Data Model for

       Traffic Engineering (TE) Topologies";



NEW

  import ietf-te-topology {    prefix "tet";  }

   reference

      "RFC YYYY: YANG Data Model for  Traffic Engineering (TE) Topologies";

-- Note to RFC Editor please replace YYYY with the number assigned to draft-ietf-teas-yang-te-topo



YL>> Done.



OLD

  import ietf-layer0-types {

    prefix "layer0-types";

    reference

      "draft-ietf-teas-yang-te-types-01: Traffic Engineering

       Common YANG Types";



NEW

  import ietf-layer0-types {

    prefix "layer0-types";

    reference

      "RFC ZZZZ Traffic Engineering Common YANG Types";

-- Note to RFC Editor please replace ZZZZ with the number assigned to draft-ietf-teas-yang-te-types



YL>> Done with the following as this module (ietf-layer0-types) is a part of draft-ietf-ccamp-wson-yang).



NEW

 import ietf-layer0-types {

    prefix "layer0-types";

    reference

      "RFC XXXX:  A YANG Data Model for WSON (Wavelength Switched Optical Networks)";

  }



/* Note: The RFC Editor will replace XXXX with the number assigned to the RFC once draft-ietf-ccamp-wson-yang becomes an RFC.*/





IANA Considerations references RFC7950 which just says go read RFC6020; readers better helped by

   Module Names registry [RFC6020]:



YL>> Added [RFC6020].



I-D References now has

6163

6205

7698

which is good but you need to add them to the body of the I-D lest you get unused references.  Suggest a Section 3.1or 1.4 " This module references [RFC6163], [RFC7205], [RFC7698] ...."

I like the way that

draft-ietf-netmod-syslog-model

handles this, titles and all.


YL>> Added in Section 1.4: YANG module "ietf-layer0-types" (defined in Section 4) references [RFC6163], [RFC7205], and [RFC7698].





I see that you found the Security Considerations that calls for TLS!



Tom Petch



----- Original Message -----

From: "Leeyoung" <leeyoung@huawei.com>;

To: "tom petch" <ietfc@btconnect.com>;; <ccamp@ietf.org>;

Sent: Tuesday, November 27, 2018 4:07 PM



Hi Tom,



A bit more editing -- Added RFC8446 in the Security Section per https://trac.ietf.org/trac/ops/wiki/yang-security-guidelines



Please see the diff

https://www.ietf.org/rfcdiff?url2=draft-ietf-ccamp-wson-yang-17 and let us know if there is any further fix needed.



Thanks.

Young



-----Original Message-----

From: Leeyoung

Sent: Monday, November 26, 2018 4:40 PM

To: 'tom petch' <ietfc@btconnect.com>;; ccamp@ietf.org

Subject: RE: I-D Action: draft-ietf-ccamp-wson-yang-16.txt



Hi Tom,



Thanks for your comments. Please see the attached diff file that compares v16 and v17. I believe all your comments have been incorporated except RFC8446 (TLS3.1) reference. Please also see inline for my response to each of your comments.



Let me know if you have any further comments.



Best regards,

Young



-----Original Message-----

From: tom petch [mailto:ietfc@btconnect.com]

Sent: Tuesday, November 20, 2018 11:28 AM



I think that this I-D needs some more work on it.



- I have never seen a YANG module with so few Normative References; in fact, you cannot validly have one with so few.  Recall that Normative means you need to understand them in order to understand the I-D and at the very least RFC7950 is in that category and I suspect most of the others are too (but not RFC8340).



YL>> Agree.



- IANA Considerations references RFC7950; all this RFC does is tell the reader to go to RFC6020 so that should be the reference here.



YL>> Added.



- The Security Considerations is not current - it lacks any mention of RESTCONF.  This will require Normative References to RFC6241, RFC6242,

RFC8341 amd RFC8446.



YL>> Added RESRCONF reference. Normative References to RFC6241, RFC6242,

and RFC8341 were added. TLS1.3 reference, RFC8446 was not added. I was not sure how this one relates to the draft.



RFC6536 is referenced but not in the I-D References



YL>> Added.



The Abstract and Introduction fail to mention whether or not the modules are NMDA-compliant.



YL>> Added/



The YANG module has a lower case 'must' but no indication in the body of the I-D as to how this should be interpreted.



YL>> Added Section 1.1 Requirements Language section.



The YANG module contains



" ...the generic TE topology module [TE-TOPO] based on the information model developed in [RFC7446] and the two encoding documents [RFC7581] and [RFC7579] that developed protocol independent encodings based on [RFC7446]. "

AYANG module must be plain text so XML-style references in the module itself are not permitted; all those [....] look suspiciously like references in which case, they must go.



YL>> Removed all the references and its related text.



The YANG module 'import' statements



import ietf-network {   prefix "nw";  }

import ietf-network-topology {    prefix "nt";  }

import ietf-te-topology {    prefix "tet";  }

import ietf-layer0-types {    prefix "layer0-types";



need to reference the RFC where these modules can be found, e.g.

  import ietf-network { prefix "nw";

   reference "RFC 8345: A YANG Data Model for Network Topologies"; }



YL>> Added reference statement for each imported module.



The YANG module references

RFC6163

RFC6205

RFC7698

none of which are in the References.  'reference' statements in the module must be plain text but the document must be referenced from the body of the I-D with a suitable entry in the References of the I-D.



YL>> Added all of these in  the reference section.



module ietf-layer0-types

lacks a YANG version statement.



YL>> Added.



Tom Petch



----- Original Message -----

From: <internet-drafts@ietf.org>;

To: <i-d-announce@ietf.org>;

Cc: <ccamp@ietf.org>;

Sent: Monday, November 19, 2018 6:00 PM

Subject: I-D Action: draft-ietf-ccamp-wson-yang-16.txt





>

> A New Internet-Draft is available from the on-line Internet-Drafts

directories.

> This draft is a work item of the Common Control and Measurement Plane

WG of the IETF.

>

>         Title           : A YANG Data Model for WSON Optical Networks

>         Authors         : Young Lee

>                           Dhruv Dhody

>                           Aihua Guo

>                           Victor Lopez

>                           Daniel King

> Filename        : draft-ietf-ccamp-wson-yang-16.txt

> Pages           : 74

> Date            : 2018-11-19

>

> Abstract:

>    This document provides a YANG data model for the routing and

>    wavelength assignment (RWA) TE topology in wavelength switched

>    optical networks (WSONs).

>

>

>

>

> The IETF datatracker status page for this draft is:

> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-ccamp-wson-yang/

>

> There are also htmlized versions available at:

> https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-ccamp-wson-yang-16

> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-ietf-ccamp-wson-yang-16

>

> A diff from the previous version is available at:

> https://www.ietf.org/rfcdiff?url2=draft-ietf-ccamp-wson-yang-16

>

>

> Please note that it may take a couple of minutes from the time of

submission

> until the htmlized version and diff are available at tools.ietf.org.

>

> Internet-Drafts are also available by anonymous FTP at:

> ftp://ftp.ietf.org/internet-drafts/

>

> _______________________________________________

> I-D-Announce mailing list

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