Re: [CCAMP] FW: I-D Action: draft-ietf-ccamp-l1csm-yang-03.txt

["t.petch" <[e-mail]>]

Thanks for fixing the indentation; much easier to comment on!

Two major thoughts.

First, how attached are you to l1, that is letter l followed by digit 1
?  I know it makes sense but I also know many contexts in which that
would not be allowed because the probability of confusion is so great,
with the digit being read as the letter i or letter l or the letter
being read as a digit  or ...  I think
that this needs careful consideration; I was making mistakes reading the
I-D on the comfort of a proper PC with good resolution etc (but with
oldish eyes:-(

Second, references need some work.  You identify the YANG modules as
version 1.1 but have an Informative Reference - must be Normative - to
YANG 1.0; confusing.  The Security Considerations are not the current
one;  e.g. you should reference RESTCONF and SSH. Might I suggest
looking at
draft-ietf-ccamp-mw-yang-06 ? And the section does reference RFC6241 and
RFC6536 which I cannot see in the Normative References

s.1    controller via a Netconf[RFC6020] interface.
No; NETCONF is not RFC6020

In the identity coding func you reference clauses 49, 82 and such like -
these need reference clauses to the relevant specification in the YANG
module.  This probably applies to most of these definitions (although
one comprehensive reference to any one document would suffice).

You need YANG reference clauses for
  import ietf-yang-types
and
  import ietf-l1-mef-service-types {

Likewise I recognise e.g. 'one way severely errored second' as a
technical term of the ITU-T; if that is what you intend, then these all
need a reference to the current ITU-T Recommendation.  If not, more
explanation is needed

You need YANG reference clauses for
  import ietf-yang-types
and
  import ietf-l1-mef-service-types {


Besides this,
- the running footing tells me that this is valid until 2028.

-s 1.4 references [This I-D]
Suggest RFC XXXX (and add a note up front to the RFC Editor asking them
to replace XXXX with the number assigned to the RFC)

-  grouping protocol-coding-optical_interface {
    description  "describes <p,c,o>";
p c o are not expanded in the YANG module - they need to be

-  grouping subscriber-l1vc-sls-service-attribute {
    description
      "The value of the Subscriber L1VC SLS (Service Level
        Specification) Service Attribute expressed in a 3-tuple
        of the form.";
leaves me asking what form does the 3-tuple take?

-      leaf time-interval {
        type int64;
        units seconds;
        description "a time interval (e.g., 1 month) ...
int64 is a lot of seconds and anyway cannot be used to express a month
since a month is a number of different lengths.  If a month is a
sensible time (seems long to me) then change it to 28 day and give the
value for 28 day in second and perhaps provide a default as that.  And
how about a range limiting this to something sensible (lest a typo sets
it to 2028 years)

-      leaf subscriber-l1vc-ep-id-1 { type string;
        description "subscriber end point ID";  }

      leaf subscriber-l1vc-ep-id-2 { type string;
        description "subscriber end point ID";
Spot the difference - I can't!

-  container l1cs
This is the sort of identifier I expect to be frequently misspelt!

Enough for now

Tom Petch

----- Original Message -----
From: "t.petch" <[e-mail]>
To: "Leeyoung" <[e-mail]>; <[e-mail]>
Sent: Saturday, June 23, 2018 9:07 PM
Subject: Re: [CCAMP] FW: I-D Action: draft-ietf-ccamp-l1csm-yang-03.txt


> Young
>
> The most significant comment, for me, is the one about the
indentation;
> there came a point where I gave up trying to follow the I-D because it
> was so hard, so fix that and likely more comments will follow:-)
>
> Tom Petch
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Leeyoung" <[e-mail]>
> To: <[e-mail]>
> Sent: Thursday, June 21, 2018 11:43 PM
>
> > Hi WG,
> >
> > This revision had some error in the date field in the yang model. So
> it is corrected; Tom's comments will be incorporated in the next
version
> (04).
> >
> > Thanks,
> > Young
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: CCAMP [mailto:[e-mail]] On Behalf Of
> [e-mail]
> > Sent: Thursday, June 21, 2018 5:35 PM
> > To: [e-mail]
> > Cc: [e-mail]
> > Subject: [CCAMP] I-D Action: draft-ietf-ccamp-l1csm-yang-03.txt
> >
> >
> > A New Internet-Draft is available from the on-line Internet-Drafts
> directories.
> > This draft is a work item of the Common Control and Measurement
Plane
> WG of the IETF.
> >
> >         Title           : A Yang Data Model for L1 Connectivity
> Service Model (L1CSM)
> >         Authors         : G. Fioccola
> >                           K. Lee
> >                           Y. Lee
> >                           D. Dhody
> >                           D. Ceccarelli
> > Filename        : draft-ietf-ccamp-l1csm-yang-03.txt
> > Pages           : 24
> > Date            : 2018-06-21
> >
> > Abstract:
> >    This document provides a YANG data model for Layer 1 Connectivity
> >    Service Model (L1CSM).
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > The IETF datatracker status page for this draft is:
> > https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-ccamp-l1csm-yang/
> >
> > There are also htmlized versions available at:
> > https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-ccamp-l1csm-yang-03
> > https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-ietf-ccamp-l1csm-yang-03
> >
> > A diff from the previous version is available at:
> > https://www.ietf.org/rfcdiff?url2=draft-ietf-ccamp-l1csm-yang-03
> >
> >
> > Please note that it may take a couple of minutes from the time of
> submission until the htmlized version and diff are available at
> tools.ietf.org.
> >
> > Internet-Drafts are also available by anonymous FTP at:
> > ftp://ftp.ietf.org/internet-drafts/
> >
> > _______________________________________________
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> >
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>
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