Re: [CDNi] [alto] WGLC for draft-ietf-alto-cdni-request-routing-alto-09

Dear Danny,

Thank you so much for the excellent review. We are working on them and will
get a version by Tuesday.

Richard

On Mon, Feb 17, 2020 at 12:20 PM Danny Alex Lachos Perez <
dlachosper@gmail.com> wrote:

> Dear authors,
>
> I have performed a review of this draft (-09).
> My comments are below:
>
> 1) Section 2.2
>
>    "Application-Layer Traffic Optimization (ALTO) [RFC7285 <https://tools.ietf.org/html/rfc7285>] is an
>    approach for guiding the resource provider selection process in
>    distributed applications that can choose among several candidate
>    resources providers to retrieve a given resource.  By conveying
>    network layer (topology) information, an ALTO server can provide
>    important information to "guide" the resource provider selection
>    process in distributed applications."
>
>  The two paragraphs are very similar in content, consider merging. E.g.:
> "Application-Layer Traffic Optimization (ALTO) [RFC7285] is an approach
> for conveying network layer (topology) information to "guide" the resource
> provider selection process in distributed applications."
>
> 2) Section 2.2
>
> "Recently, however, ALTO is
>    also being considered for improving the request routing in CDNs
>    [I-D.jenkins-alto-cdn-use-cases <https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-alto-cdni-request-routing-alto-09#ref-I-D.jenkins-alto-cdn-use-cases>]."
>
> The reference dates from 2012 and it is an expired draft
>
>
> 3) Section 2.2
>
>   "This would enable a uCDN to
>
>       determine if a given dCDN actually has the capabilities for a
>       given request with respect to the type of content requested."
>
> Wordy sentence, consider rewriting: e.g., "This would enable a uCDN to
> determine if a dCDN actually has the capabilities for a given type of
> content request."
>
>
> 4) Section 2.1
>
> "      related to CDNI Metadata.
>
>    o"
>
> Remove last bullet (there is no text)
>
>
> 5) Introduction
>
> "instead of getting the full resource which can be huge.  Section 6 <https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-alto-cdni-request-routing-alto-09#section-6>"
>
> Consider adding a comma: "instead of getting the full resource*,* which
> can be huge. Section 6"
>
>
> 6) Introduction
>
> "Section 7 <https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-alto-cdni-request-routing-alto-09#section-7> and Section 8 <https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-alto-cdni-request-routing-alto-09#section-8> respectively."
>
> Consider adding a comma: "Section 7 and Section 8, respectively."
>
>
> 7) Section 2.2
>
> "   in particular for an FCI protocol:
>
>    o"
>
> Remove bullet (there is no text)
>
>
> 8) Section 4.2.4
>
> "In this example, the ALTO client is interested in changes of "my-
>    cdnifci-with-pid-footprints".  Considering two changes, the first one"
>
> Consider rewriting: "In this example, the ALTO client is interested in two
> changes of "my- cdnifci-with-pid-footprints". The first one"
>
> 9) Section 2.2
>
> "design of ALTO supports server pushed incremental updates
>
>       [I-D.ietf-alto-incr-update-sse <https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-alto-cdni-request-routing-alto-09#ref-I-D.ietf-alto-incr-update-sse>].."
>
> Consider updating the reference
>
> sse-17 -> sse-19
>
>
> 10) Section 2.2
>
> "  ALTO Path
>       Vector Extension [I-D.ietf-alto-path-vector <https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-alto-cdni-request-routing-alto-09#ref-I-D.ietf-alto-path-vector>] is designed to allow"
>
> Consider updating the reference
>
> vector-08 -> vector-09
>
>
> 11) Section 2.2
>
> "footprint by a dCDN, in particular
>       if such a footprint is being"
>
> Consider adding a comma: "... in particular*,* if such ..."
>
>
> 12) Section 2.2
>
> "would enable a dCDN to directly inform a uCDN about such changes."
>
> Consider rewriting: "to directly inform a uCDN about such changes" -> "to
> inform a uCDN about such changes directly"
>
>
> 13) Section 3.6
>
> "value and footprints, where footprints are defined in "
>
> Consider adding a comma: "... value, and footprints ..."
>
>
> 14) Section 5.6
>
> "an full CDNI FCI resource (See Section 3.6 <https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-alto-cdni-request-routing-alto-09#section-3.6>.)"
>
> "an full" -> a full
>
>
> 15) Section 6
>
> "CDNI capabilities, the most natrual way to satisfy this requirement"
>
> "natrual" -> "natural"
>
>
> 16) Section 6
>
> "   is to use the ALTO property map defined in
>    [I-D.ietf-alto-unified-props-new <https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-alto-cdni-request-routing-alto-09#ref-I-D.ietf-alto-unified-props-new>]."
>
> Consider updating the reference
>
> new-09 -> new-10
>
>
> 17) Section 6.1.1.2
>
> "The entity identifiers of entities in an asn domain is encoded as a"
>
> Consider changing the verb form: "The entity identifiers of entities in an
> asn domain *are* encoded..."
>
>
> 18) Section 6.1.2.2
>
> "The entity identifiers of entities in a countrycode domain is encoded"
>
> Consider changing the verb form: "The entity identifiers of entities in a
> countrycode domain *are* encoded..."
>
>
> 19) Section 7.1
>
> "A new footprint type is to be registred"
>
> Typo: "registred" -> registered
>
> 20) Section 7.3
>
> "property type is to be registred, listed in Table 3."
>
> Typo: "registred" -> registered
>
>
> 21) Section 8
>
> "Security Considerations (Section 15 <https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-alto-cdni-request-routing-alto-09#section-15>) of the base protocol fully apply"
>
> Consider fixing the link "Section 15"
>
>
> 22) Section 8
>
> "expoing all full/filtered CDNI FCI resources in one of its IRDs."
>
> "expoing" -> "exposing"
>
>
> Best regards,
>
> Danny Lachos
>
>
> On Mon, Feb 3, 2020 at 1:06 PM Vijay Gurbani <vijay.gurbani@gmail.com>
> wrote:
>
>> All: Jan and I will like to start WGLC for
>> draft-ietf-cdni-request-routing-alto-09.  The WGLC period will run from
>> Mon,
>> Feb 3 2020 to Wed, Feb 19 2020.
>>
>> This email is also being cross-posted to the CDNI working group.
>>
>> We will like to have one WG list member from ALTO and one WG list member
>> from
>> CDNI review this draft in depth.  Please send Jan and me an email if you
>> are willing
>> review the draft as part of WGLC.
>>
>> In addition, we will like general reviews of the draft from both ALTO and
>> CDNI WGs.
>>
>> Thank you.
>> _______________________________________________
>> alto mailing list
>> alto@ietf.org
>> https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/alto
>>
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>
-- 
Richard