[Cellar] draft-ietf-cellar-ffv1-13 comments
"Murray S. Kucherawy" <superuser@gmail.com> Wed, 29 April 2020 05:15 UTC
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From: "Murray S. Kucherawy" <superuser@gmail.com>
Date: Tue, 28 Apr 2020 22:15:28 -0700
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Cc: Adam Roach <adam@nostrum.com>
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Subject: [Cellar] draft-ietf-cellar-ffv1-13 comments
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Hi there, I've reviewed -13 of this document, and the results are below. I also used Adam's prior AD review as a checklist of sorts. I think this needs one more round before it can be sent to the IESG. Fortunately most of this is editorial, but there's a lot, and there are one or two substantive things I urge you to address. Section 2.1: * "RCT" doesn't appear as a standalone term in this document other than as part of the string "JPEG2000-RCT", so I don't know if it's worth including in your glossary. * "TBA" is not used in this document other than in the glossary. It should probably be removed. Sections 2.1 and 3.5: * "1 or more" should become "one or more". Similarly, "1 of the 5" should be "one of the five". Section 2.2.2: * The sentence starting "With" should be attached to the previous sentence with a comma. It's not a sentence by itself. * "This is equivalent to, b times dividing a by 2 with rounding toward negative infinity." -- I suggest: "This is equivalent to dividing a by 2, b times, with rounding toward negative infinity." Section 2.2.5: * The layout of this table is a little hard to parse. I would quote the terms you're describing, or put colons after them, or something like that. Section 3.3: * The "Background" paragraph starts out talking in the past tense, then switches to present ("was used", then "when the issue is discovered"). Then it switches back in a later sentence. That should all be past tense, right? * It looks a little odd to quote an equation, especially where that's not done elsewhere in the document so far. Section 3.7.2: * The spacing around and within the equations in this section is not consistent with the rest of the document. * "offsetted" should be "offset" Section 3.8.1.1.1: * "3 modes" should be "three modes" * "1 byte shorter" should be "one byte shorter" * "3 places" should be "three places" * "Above describes the range decoding, encoding is defined as ..." -- this should be two separate sentences Section 3.8.1.2: * As Adam mentioned in his review: "The exact contexts used are best described by Figure 15, followed by some comments.", but there are no comments after Figure 15 nor after this prose. * Adam also pointed out that this table appears to have a "type" column that serves no purpose. It should either be used or removed. Or, if as I think I figured out much later, this layout is actually a way to indicate the types of output values when the pseudo-code yields something, you really should explain that either here, or maybe earlier where you're describing conventions used in this document. * Adam also pointed out that the put_rac() function is defined nowhere in this document nor is a definition for it referenced. Section 3.8.2.1: * "2 parts" should be "two parts" * "the prefix stores ..." should be the start of a new sentence. * Another table with an unused "type" column. Section 3.8.2.1.2: * The prose in the ESC line uses too many commas. Maybe: "the value - 11, in MSB first order; ESC may only ..." Section 3.8.2.1.3: * Same issue about "value". Section 3.8.2.2.1: * "2 parts" -- "two parts"; "2nd' -- "second" * "the prefix" should begin a new sentence * another table with an unused "type" column Section 3.8.2.2.2: * This code uses a function defined in the next section. They should be swapped perhaps, or at least a forward reference would be helpful. * The final paragraph appears to be made up of two sentences run together. Section 3.8.2.3: * sign_extend() is undefined. Section 4: * "1 or more" -- "one or more" * This is the first time there's a reference to a "header". Is more context needed here? Section 4.1: * QuantizationTableSet() isn't defined until much later in the document. Again, a forward reference would be helpful. Section 4.1.1: * "... version 2 files SHOULD NOT exist ..." -- what's an implementer supposed to do with this normative instruction? Section 4.1.3: * "... there is no known implementations ..." -- change "is" to "are", or use "implementation" Section 4.1.5: * The normative language at the end here is pretty crisp, but what should an implementation do if it receives something that doesn't comply? Section 4.1.7: * The sentence at the end appears to be two sentences run together. Section 4.1.8, 4.1.9: * The spacing in the equations here isn't consistent with the rest of the document. Section 4.1.15: * This conditional syntax is incomplete since the ":" part is missing. Section 4.1.16: * As Adam pointed out, another unexplained reference to "header" ("global" in this case). Section 4.2: * First-ever reference to a "track header". Section 4.2.2: * Change "crc" to "CRC" (two instances). It's correct the third time. Section 4.2.3.1: * "AVI " should be just "AVI" (i.e., remove the trailing space) Section 4.4: * Addressing normative language to authors of revisions to this document is novel. I suggest using non-normative prose here. * "an other" should be "another" Section 4.5.5: * Rather than separating this formula away from the text as was done in prior sections, here it's quoted inline. I find the former much more readable. Section 4.6: * Another table with an empty "type" column. I think I see now that the column is populated against each line that outputs something, but can it not just be omitted when there's no output to the function? * But does this function really output nothing? Sections 4.6.1 through 4.6.4: * Same comment as before about inline formulae. Section 4.7: * This should have indicators for output types, I think. Section 4.7.1: * I don't understand the second sentence. I parse it as: "X" and "Y" value is "Z". Did you mean "The values of X and Y are Z"? * Same problem on the next line, coupled with quoted inline equations again. Sections 4.7.2 and 4.7.3: * Same issue with quoted inline equations. Section 7: * Does the subtype intend to be case-sensitive? i.e., couldn't "ffv1" work? * Required parameters should be "N/A" if you have none to register. * "This parameter is used to signal ..." -- to what is this referring? Section 8: * This can be merged with Section 7. Section 9: * Appendices go after the references. -MSK
- [Cellar] draft-ietf-cellar-ffv1-13 comments Murray S. Kucherawy
- Re: [Cellar] draft-ietf-cellar-ffv1-13 comments Jerome Martinez
- Re: [Cellar] draft-ietf-cellar-ffv1-13 comments Murray S. Kucherawy