Re: [clue] WGLC for draft-ietf-clue-rtp-mapping-07 ends 4 June

"Roni Even" <ron.even.tlv@gmail.com> Fri, 10 June 2016 06:28 UTC

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From: Roni Even <ron.even.tlv@gmail.com>
To: 'Paul Kyzivat' <pkyzivat@alum.mit.edu>, clue@ietf.org
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Date: Fri, 10 Jun 2016 09:27:18 +0300
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Subject: Re: [clue] WGLC for draft-ietf-clue-rtp-mapping-07 ends 4 June
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Hi Paul,
Thanks, see inline
Roni

> -----Original Message-----
> From: clue [mailto:clue-bounces@ietf.org] On Behalf Of Paul Kyzivat
> Sent: Friday, June 03, 2016 7:40 PM
> To: clue@ietf.org
> Subject: Re: [clue] WGLC for draft-ietf-clue-rtp-mapping-07 ends 4 June
> 
> On 5/21/16 4:20 PM, Daniel Burnett wrote:
> > This message announces the start of a 2 week WGLC for
> > draft-ietf-clue-rtp-mapping to review the updated draft. The last call
> > will end at midnight on Saturday, 4 June 2016.
> >
> > PLEASE REVIEW NOW.
> 
> Its been a long time since I read this document all the way through, so I
just
> did so.
> 
> Note that I am far from an RTP expert, so my qualifications for reviewing
this
> document are limited. The following covers mostly stuff that doesn't
require
> too much understanding of RTP.
> 
> All of the following seem to be to be "quick fix" things. Aside from these
I
> think the document is ready to go.
> 
> * Section 4:
> 
> The 2nd to last paragraph begins with "isAlternately". Clearly the "is"
> needs to be removed.
[Roni Even] OK
> 
> * Section 4.1:
> 
> The sentence "[I-D.ietf-mmusic-sdp-bundle-negotiation] how to associate a
> received RTP stream with the m-line describing it." doesn't parse. It is
missing
> a word. I think "specifies" should be inserted prior to "how to
associate".
> 
[Roni Even] OK

> Then, in "The assumption in the work is that...", it isn't clear what "the
work"
> refers to. Is it CLUE, or BUNDLE? I think it means CLUE. So perhaps change
> to "The assumption in CLUE is that...".
[Roni Even] The work is bundle in this case, changed it.
> 
> I'll also note that "[I-D.ietf-mmusic-sdp-bundle-negotiation]" is rather
> unwieldy to read. It would be helpful to change the references to
something
> more concise, such as [BUNDLE]. (xml2rfc supports this.)
[Roni Even] This will change to the RFC number.
> 
> The following one-sentence paragraph:
> 
>     SDP Source attribute [RFC5576] mechanisms to describe specific
>     attributes of RTP sources based on their SSRC.
> 
> isn't a complete sentence. I don't have a particular fix to suggest.
[Roni Even] Added provide mechanisms
> 
> Then the sentence:
> 
>     The recommended support of the simulcast case is to use
>     [I-D.ietf-mmusic-sdp-simulcast]
> 
> needs a period at the end.
[Roni Even] OK
> 
> * Section 4.2:
> 
> The intro to this section:
> 
>     This section lists, more briefly, the requirements a media
>     architecture for Clue telepresence needs to achieve, summarizing the
>     discussion of previous sections.
> 
> doesn't seem appropriate now that the work done. Also, I don't think it
really
> summarizes discussion in prior sections. Perhaps something like the
following
> would be better:
> 
> "This section lists the CLUE media requirements that guided the
development
> of this RTP mapping document."
[Roni Even] OK
> 
> * Section 4.5:
> 
>     The recommendation is that CLUE endpoints using SSRC multiplexing
>     MUST support [I-D.ietf-mmusic-sdp-bundle-negotiation] and use the SDP
>     mid attribute for mapping.
> 
> I read this as being a bit stronger than I think is intended. I think the
intent is
> that all CLUE endpoints support BUNDLE (for interoperability), but that
they
> need not offer it. And they only need to use mid when they are using
> BUNDLE. If they are not using BUNDLE then use of mid is optional.
[Roni Even] I am not sure, what it says is that if when using SSRC
multiplexing it must be done using bundle
> 
> * Section 5:
> 
> The statement "The solutions described in this document are believed to
> meet these requirements" seems a bit weak in a completed document. Any
> doubts as to whether the requirements have been met should have been
> raised and resolved now. So can we omit this?
[Roni Even] I remove "are believed to"
> 
> Should all the requirements be listed in this section, with an explanation
of
> how each is met?
[Roni Even] The section discuss the ones that were discussed and needed
clarifications
> 
> * Section 9:
> 
> Shouldn't there be two things registered here? Both the RTP header
> extension and the RTCP SDES item.
[Roni Even] both are there.
> 
> * Nits:
> 
> There are a few outdated references.
[Roni Even] Can be done later
> 
> 	Thanks,
> 	Paul
> 
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