[core] Lars Eggert's No Objection on draft-ietf-core-yang-cbor-16: (with COMMENT)

Lars Eggert via Datatracker <noreply@ietf.org> Mon, 12 July 2021 13:42 UTC

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Date: Mon, 12 Jul 2021 06:42:56 -0700
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Subject: [core] Lars Eggert's No Objection on draft-ietf-core-yang-cbor-16: (with COMMENT)
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Lars Eggert has entered the following ballot position for
draft-ietf-core-yang-cbor-16: No Objection

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----------------------------------------------------------------------
COMMENT:
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Found terminology that should be reviewed for inclusivity:
 * Term "natively"; alternatives might be "built-in", "fundamental",
   "ingrained", "intrinsic", "original".
See https://www.rfc-editor.org/part2/#inclusive_language for background and
more guidance.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
All comments below are about very minor potential issues that you may choose to
address in some way - or ignore - as you see fit. Some were flagged by
automated tools (via https://github.com/larseggert/ietf-reviewtool), so there
will likely be some false positives. There is no need to let me know what you
did with these suggestions.

Section 3.3. , paragraph 7, nit:
>  Section 6. The following examples shows the encoding of a 'hostname' leaf u
>                                    ^^^^^
You should probably use "show".

Section 4. , paragraph 2, nit:
> ta item (major type 5). A map is comprised of pairs of data items, with each
>                               ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Did you mean "comprises" or "consists of" or "is composed of"?

Section 4.1. , paragraph 5, nit:
> ection 3.3. The following examples shows the encoding of a 'system-state' co
>                                    ^^^^^
You should probably use "show".

Section 5.2. , paragraph 7, nit:
> e element -a byte string with a small number of bytes inside. For this case,
>                               ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Specify a number, remove phrase, use "a few", or use "some".

Section 6.8. , paragraph 2, nit:
> ized-key/key-data" (SID 1734) for user name "bob" and authorized-key "admin"
>                                   ^^^^^^^^^
It"s more common nowadays to write this noun as one word.

Section 6.9. , paragraph 6, nit:
> user" (SID 1730) corresponding to user name "jack". CBOR diagnostic notation
>                                   ^^^^^^^^^
It"s more common nowadays to write this noun as one word.

Document references draft-ietf-core-sid-15, but -16 is the latest available
revision.