Re: [dane] I-D Action: draft-ietf-dane-registry-acronyms-03.txt

Viktor Dukhovni <viktor1dane@dukhovni.org> Fri, 17 January 2014 03:42 UTC

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Date: Fri, 17 Jan 2014 03:41:43 +0000
From: Viktor Dukhovni <viktor1dane@dukhovni.org>
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Subject: Re: [dane] I-D Action: draft-ietf-dane-registry-acronyms-03.txt
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On Thu, Jan 16, 2014 at 03:49:43PM -0500, Olafur Gudmundsson wrote:

> > - s/confused as what/confused as to what/
> > - s/column with acronym/column with an acronym/
> > 
> Fixed 

While you're still taking fixes of this sort:

diff --git a/draft-ietf-dane-registry-acronyms-03.xml b/draft-ietf-dane-registry-acronyms-03.xml
index b75515a..27d1d66 100644
--- a/draft-ietf-dane-registry-acronyms-03.xml
+++ b/draft-ietf-dane-registry-acronyms-03.xml
@@ -38,9 +38,9 @@
       <workgroup>DANE</workgroup>
       
       <abstract>
-	<t>Experience has show that people get confused using the three
-	numeric fields the TLSA record. This document specifies
-	descriptive acronyms for the three numeric fields in the TLSA
+	<t>Experience has shown that people get confused using the three
+	numeric fields in the TLSA record. This document specifies
+	descriptive acronyms for the three numeric fields in TLSA
 	records. 
 	  This document updates the format of the IANA registry created by RFC6698.
 	</t> 
@@ -50,11 +50,12 @@
   <middle>
     <section title="Introduction"> 
       <t> During discussions on how to add DANE <xref target="RFC6698"/> 
-	technology to new protocols/services people repeatedly have
-	got confused as what the numeric values stand for and even 
-	the order of the fields of a TLSA record.
-	This document updates the IANA registry definition for TLSA
-	record to add a column with acronym for each specified field, in order to reduce confusion. 
+	technology to new protocols/services people have repeatedly
+	been confused as what the numeric values stand for and even 
+	the order of the fields in a TLSA record.
+	This document updates the IANA registry definition of the TLSA
+	record to add a column with an acronym for each specified field, so
+	as to reduce confusion. 
 	This document does not change the DANE protocol in any way. 
       </t> 
       <t>It is expected that DANE parsers in applications and DNS
@@ -168,8 +169,8 @@
       <section title="Acronym use in a specification example:"> 
 	<t>
 	  Protocol FOO only allows
-	TLSA records using PKIX-EE and DANE-EE, with selector SPKI and
-	using SHA2-512. </t>
+	TLSA records using PKIX-EE(1) and DANE-EE(3), with selector SPKI(1) and
+	using SHA2-512(2). </t>
 <!--      <t> Sides example: "In the case of FOO for practical cases you
 	can treat PKIX-CA == DANE-TE" (see talk at IETF-87 on DANE for
 	email)  </t>  -->
@@ -185,7 +186,7 @@
   <section title="Acknowledgements"> 
       <t>Scott Schmit offered real good suggestions to decrease the 
 	possibility of confusion. Viktor Dukhovni provided comments
-	from expert point of view. Jim Schaad, Wes Hardaker and Paul
+	from an implementor's viewpoint. Jim Schaad, Wes Hardaker and Paul
 	Hoffman provided feedback during WGLC. 
       </t>
   </section> 

-- 
	Viktor.