Re: [Detnet] Lars Eggert's No Objection on draft-ietf-detnet-bounded-latency-09: (with COMMENT)

Mohammadpour Ehsan <ehsan.mohammadpour@epfl.ch> Wed, 06 April 2022 22:08 UTC

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From: Mohammadpour Ehsan <ehsan.mohammadpour@epfl.ch>
To: Lars Eggert <lars@eggert.org>
CC: The IESG <iesg@ietf.org>, "draft-ietf-detnet-bounded-latency@ietf.org" <draft-ietf-detnet-bounded-latency@ietf.org>, DetNet Chairs <detnet-chairs@ietf.org>, DetNet WG <detnet@ietf.org>, "lberger@labn.net" <lberger@labn.net>
Thread-Topic: Lars Eggert's No Objection on draft-ietf-detnet-bounded-latency-09: (with COMMENT)
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Date: Wed, 06 Apr 2022 22:01:12 +0000
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Subject: Re: [Detnet] Lars Eggert's No Objection on draft-ietf-detnet-bounded-latency-09: (with COMMENT)
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Dear Lars,

Thank you very much for your comments. Please find below my responses:


----------------------------------------------------------------------
COMMENT:
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Section 11.2. , paragraph 7, comment:
  [IEEE8021Qcr]
             IEEE 802.1, "IEEE P802.1Qcr: IEEE Draft Standard for Local
             and metropolitan area networks - Bridges and Bridged
             Networks - Amendment: Asynchronous Traffic Shaping", 2017,
             <http://www.ieee802.org/1/files/private/cr-drafts/>.

Please link to a public version of this document, if possible.

Even though the access to this file looks limited, the username and password for this document can be found online in an IETF URL: https://www.ietf.org/proceedings/52/slides/bridge-0/tsld003.htm.


The document has six authors, which exceeds the recommended author limit. I
assume the sponsoring AD has agreed that this is appropriate?


We agreed to follow the recommended author limit, and list the remaining authors as contributors. It will be reflected in the new submission.

Thanks to Gyan S. Mishra for their General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) review
(https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/gen-art/yMbUVrUjPZYqHTfNd8XwqMwg0FI).

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
NIT
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
All comments below are about very minor potential issues that you may choose to
address in some way - or ignore - as you see fit. Some were flagged by
automated tools (via https://github.com/larseggert/ietf-reviewtool), so there
will likely be some false positives. There is no need to let me know what you
did with these suggestions.

Document references draft-ietf-detnet-controller-plane-framework-00, but -01 is
the latest available revision.

Corrected!


These URLs in the document did not return content:
* http://www.ieee802.org/1/files/private/cr-drafts/

As mentioned above, the username and password to access this document can be found online in an IETF URL: https://www.ietf.org/proceedings/52/slides/bridge-0/tsld003.htm.


These URLs in the document can probably be converted to HTTPS:
* http://ieeexplore.ieee.org/document/8403927
* http://www.ieee802.org/1/

Corrected!


Section 6.4. , paragraph 6, nit:
cussed in Section 4.2.2; an interleaved regulators does not increase the dela
                        ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
The plural noun "regulators" cannot be used with the article "an". Did you mean
"an interleaved regulator" or "interleaved regulators"?


Corrected to “an interleaved regulator”!


Section 6.4.2. , paragraph 9, nit:
T, CQF with more buffers can be used and a cycle identification label can be
                                   ^^^^
Use a comma before "and" if it connects two independent clauses (unless they
are closely connected and short).

A comma is added!


Section 6.6. , paragraph 3, nit:
to entrance of the first node in sub-network 2, and d3_p the delay bound of p
                                ^^^^^^^^^^^
This word is normally spelled as one. (Also elsewhere.)

As “sub-network” is used in RFC8655, we decided to use it instead of “subnetwork”.


Best,
Ehsan



--
Ehsan Mohammadpour
PhD candidate at Swiss Federal Institute of Technology (EPFL)
EPFL EDIC PhD student representative
IC IINFCOM, LCA2, INF 011, Station 14, 1015 Lausanne, Switzerland
https://people.epfl.ch/ehsan.mohammadpour



On 5 Apr 2022, at 18:40, Lars Eggert via Datatracker <noreply@ietf.org<mailto:noreply@ietf.org>> wrote:

Lars Eggert has entered the following ballot position for
draft-ietf-detnet-bounded-latency-09: No Objection

When responding, please keep the subject line intact and reply to all
email addresses included in the To and CC lines. (Feel free to cut this
introductory paragraph, however.)


Please refer to https://www.ietf.org/about/groups/iesg/statements/handling-ballot-positions/
for more information about how to handle DISCUSS and COMMENT positions.


The document, along with other ballot positions, can be found here:
https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-detnet-bounded-latency/



----------------------------------------------------------------------
COMMENT:
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Section 11.2. , paragraph 7, comment:
  [IEEE8021Qcr]
             IEEE 802.1, "IEEE P802.1Qcr: IEEE Draft Standard for Local
             and metropolitan area networks - Bridges and Bridged
             Networks - Amendment: Asynchronous Traffic Shaping", 2017,
             <http://www.ieee802.org/1/files/private/cr-drafts/>.

Please link to a public version of this document, if possible.

The document has six authors, which exceeds the recommended author limit. I
assume the sponsoring AD has agreed that this is appropriate?

Thanks to Gyan S. Mishra for their General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) review
(https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/gen-art/yMbUVrUjPZYqHTfNd8XwqMwg0FI).

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
NIT
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
All comments below are about very minor potential issues that you may choose to
address in some way - or ignore - as you see fit. Some were flagged by
automated tools (via https://github.com/larseggert/ietf-reviewtool), so there
will likely be some false positives. There is no need to let me know what you
did with these suggestions.

Document references draft-ietf-detnet-controller-plane-framework-00, but -01 is
the latest available revision.

These URLs in the document did not return content:
* http://www.ieee802.org/1/files/private/cr-drafts/

These URLs in the document can probably be converted to HTTPS:
* http://ieeexplore.ieee.org/document/8403927
* http://www.ieee802.org/1/

Section 6.4. , paragraph 6, nit:
cussed in Section 4.2.2; an interleaved regulators does not increase the dela
                        ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
The plural noun "regulators" cannot be used with the article "an". Did you mean
"an interleaved regulator" or "interleaved regulators"?

Section 6.4.2. , paragraph 9, nit:
T, CQF with more buffers can be used and a cycle identification label can be
                                   ^^^^
Use a comma before "and" if it connects two independent clauses (unless they
are closely connected and short).

Section 6.6. , paragraph 3, nit:
to entrance of the first node in sub-network 2, and d3_p the delay bound of p
                                ^^^^^^^^^^^
This word is normally spelled as one. (Also elsewhere.)