Re: [Detnet] RtgDir Review: draft-ietf-detnet-yang-16

John Scudder <jgs@juniper.net> Tue, 20 September 2022 15:04 UTC

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From: John Scudder <jgs@juniper.net>
To: Don Fedyk <dfedyk@labn.net>
CC: "julien.meuric@orange.com" <julien.meuric@orange.com>, "draft-ietf-detnet-yang.all@ietf.org" <draft-ietf-detnet-yang.all@ietf.org>, "detnet@ietf.org" <detnet@ietf.org>
Thread-Topic: RtgDir Review: draft-ietf-detnet-yang-16
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Subject: Re: [Detnet] RtgDir Review: draft-ietf-detnet-yang-16
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-ADs, rtgdir

Julien — thanks for the review!

Don and all — I’ll wait until you’ve pushed version 17 before I complete my AD review.

Thanks,

—John

> On Sep 14, 2022, at 8:28 AM, Don Fedyk <dfedyk@labn.net> wrote:
> 
> 
> Hi Julien
> 
> Thanks for you review. I will go through you points and address them shortly for the next update.  I will align with the other authors. I will send a separate response addressing the points once I have a resolution.
> 
> Thanks
> Don
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: julien.meuric@orange.com <julien.meuric@orange.com>
> Sent: Tuesday, September 13, 2022 10:03 AM
> To: <rtg-ads@ietf.org> <rtg-ads@ietf.org>; draft-ietf-detnet-yang.all@ietf.org
> Cc: rtg-dir@ietf.org; detnet@ietf.org
> Subject: RtgDir Review: draft-ietf-detnet-yang-16
> 
> Hello,
> 
> I have been selected as the Routing Directorate reviewer for this draft.
> The Routing Directorate seeks to review all routing or routing-related
> drafts as they pass through IETF last call and IESG review, and
> sometimes on special request. The purpose of the review is to provide
> assistance to the Routing ADs. For more information about the Routing
> Directorate, please see
> ​https://urldefense.com/v3/__http://trac.tools.ietf.org/area/rtg/trac/wiki/RtgDir__;!!NEt6yMaO-gk!GZ5g0veJTSy9bMw8v8lpDPndabgLrrUXWbURBnuvdIksVRkeUgZkair1Yip1CrChEIW3ivsjGNQ$
> 
> Although these comments are primarily for the use of the Routing ADs, it
> would be helpful if you could consider them along with any other IETF
> Last Call comments that you receive, and strive to resolve them through
> discussion or by updating the draft.
> 
> Document: draft-ietf-detnet-yang
> Reviewer: Julien Meuric
> Review Date: 2022-09-13
> Intended Status: Standards Track
> 
> 
> _Summary_
> 
> I have some minor concerns about this document that I think should be
> resolved before publication.
> 
> 
> _Comments_
> 
> The YANG module itself seems almost ready but the text that introduces
> it needs a few clarification or rewording.
> 
> 
> _Minor Issues_
> 
> - First of all, IdNits points out 3 normative references on
> informational RFCs 8938, 9016 and 9055. Are you sure the 3 of them are
> mandatory to implement the YANG module?
> 
> - In the abstract, I don't really understand the point of the sentence
> "An operator or network controller programs the configuration of the
> devices" since service provisioning on devices along the path is
> previously mentioned. If the intent was to say: "The configuration of
> the devices can be programmed by an operator or a network controller.",
> that feels like stating the obvious for a device-embeded YANG module.
> 
> - In section 4, the wording of "ingress" and "egress" definitions feel
> odd. Is it meant to say "Ingress refers to entering the DetNet
> application layer and egress to leaving the application layer."?
> 
> - The described aggregation cases are scoped either as layer N to layer
> N or as layer N to layer N-1. However, there's a relay node case where
> aggregation is described as layer N (forwarding) to layer N+1 (service).
> Since there's no forwarding to forwarding relay case, I suspect a
> mismatch... [Later note: in the model itself, one can find
> "forwarding-to-forwarding aggregation at the ingress node or relay node
> or transit node", so it looks like an issue in the text part.]
> 
> - In section 8, the max-loss leaf is an uint32 but is defined as a
> "ratio". Considering the value in the examples (2), it seems that the
> description text (and units?) should be adjusted.
> 
> 
> _Nits_
> 
> ------
> Abstract
> ---
> s/operational data for DetNet Flows/operational data of DetNet Flows/
> [already 2 "for"s in the phrase]
> 
> ------
> Section 4.
> ---
>     OLD
> Node types typically are logical per DetNet service and one DetNet
> service can be one node type while another is another node type on same
> device.
>     NEW
> Node types are logical roles per DetNet service: a device along one
> DetNet service can be of one node type, while another service may use
> the same device with a different node type.
> 
> s/edge node(egress/edge node (egress/
> s/These may used/These may be used/
> s/the configuration need to/the configuration needs to/
> s/IP based path/IP-based path/
> s/parameters for aggregated flow/parameters for aggregated flow/
> 
> ------
> Section 10.
> ---
>     OLD
> o this also coudl be considered moer sensitive. The trafic profiles liked to
>     NEW
> so this also could be considered more sensitive. The traffic profiles
> linked to
> 
> ------
> 
> Regards,
> 
> Julien