Re: [Detnet] Alissa Cooper's No Objection on draft-ietf-detnet-ip-over-tsn-06: (with COMMENT)

[Balázs Varga A <[e-mail]>]

Hi Alissa

Many thanks for your review. Proposed fixing inline.

Thanks
Bala'zs


-----Original Message-----
From: Alissa Cooper via Datatracker <[e-mail]> 
Sent: Wednesday, February 17, 2021 9:46 PM
To: The IESG <[e-mail]>
Cc: [e-mail]; [e-mail]; [e-mail]; Lou Berger <[e-mail]>; [e-mail]
Subject: Alissa Cooper's No Objection on draft-ietf-detnet-ip-over-tsn-06: (with COMMENT)

Alissa Cooper has entered the following ballot position for
draft-ietf-detnet-ip-over-tsn-06: No Objection

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COMMENT:
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I agree with Alvaro's ballot points. I think IEEEP8021CBcv should also be a normative reference.

<Bala'zs> OK.

= Abstract =

"Whenever this document makes
   requirements statements or recommendations, these are taken from
   normative text in the referenced RFCs."

I found the use of "requirements statements" a little misleading since this document contains no normative language.

<Bala'zs> OK. I will fix this.

= Section 4 =

"The Time-Sensitive Networking (TSN) Task Group of the IEEE 802.1
   Working Group have defined (and are defining) a number of amendments
   to IEEE 802.1Q [IEEE8021Q] that provide zero congestion loss and
   bounded latency in bridged networks."

Since this is going into an immutable RFC, starting with "At the time of this writing" or some such would be helpful.

<Bala'zs> OK. Thanks for the suggested change, I will fix this.

= Section 5 =

        "Mapping between DetNet IP flow(s) (as flow identification defined
      in [RFC8939], it is summarized in Section 5.1 of that document,
      and includes all wildcards, port ranges and the ability to ignore
      specific IP fields) and TSN Stream(s) (as stream identification
      information defined in [IEEE8021CB] and [IEEEP8021CBdb])."

This is wordy and therefore hard to parse in the context of the bulleted list.
It would be clearer if it were broken up into multiple sentences.

<Bala'zs> OK. I will fix this and broke up.
OLD TEXT
   o  Mapping between DetNet IP flow(s) (as flow identification defined
      in [RFC8939], it is summarized in Section 5.1 of that document,
      and includes all wildcards, port ranges and the ability to ignore
      specific IP fields) and TSN Stream(s) (as stream identification
      information defined in [IEEE8021CB] and [IEEEP8021CBdb]).  Note,
      that managed objects for TSN Stream identification can be found in
      [IEEEP8021CBcv].
NEW TEXT
   o  Mapping between DetNet IP flow(s) and TSN Stream(s). DetNet IP 
       flow identification is summarized in Section 5.1 [RFC8939],
       and includes all wildcards, port ranges and the ability to ignore
       specific IP fields. For TSN Streams stream identification
       information are defined in [IEEE8021CB] and [IEEEP8021CBdb]). 
      Note, that managed objects for TSN Stream identification can be 
      found in [IEEEP8021CBcv].
END