[dhcwg] Murray Kucherawy's No Objection on draft-ietf-dhc-mac-assign-07: (with COMMENT)
Murray Kucherawy via Datatracker <noreply@ietf.org> Wed, 10 June 2020 08:04 UTC
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Date: Wed, 10 Jun 2020 01:04:40 -0700
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Subject: [dhcwg] Murray Kucherawy's No Objection on draft-ietf-dhc-mac-assign-07: (with COMMENT)
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Murray Kucherawy has entered the following ballot position for draft-ietf-dhc-mac-assign-07: No Objection When responding, please keep the subject line intact and reply to all email addresses included in the To and CC lines. (Feel free to cut this introductory paragraph, however.) Please refer to https://www.ietf.org/iesg/statement/discuss-criteria.html for more information about IESG DISCUSS and COMMENT positions. The document, along with other ballot positions, can be found here: https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-dhc-mac-assign/ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- COMMENT: ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Section 1: * "... - more details are in Appendix A." -- This should be its own sentence. Section 3: * "... typically 6 octets long." -- s/6/six/ (and for all numbers below 10 in prose; more below) * "... (extra) addresses/ A single address ..." -- that slash should be a period Section 4.3: * "... may specify a specific ..." -- maybe "include a specific"? * "... with offered address or addresses." -- put "an" before "address" * Can we just refer to Figure 1 over in RFC 8415 rather than copying it here? * "An administrator may make the address assignment permanent by ..." -- this is already stated earlier in the same section Section 5: * In the second paragraph, two consecutive sentences start with "Therefore". I suggest just dropping the first instance. Section 8: * "... expand the address block - once ..." -- make that an em dash, or a new sentence Section 10.1: * "A 4-octet field ..." -- suggest "four-octet" (three instances in this section, more in 10.2) Section 10.2: * I suggest that naming the IANA registry here is sufficient; the URL isn't needed. (What if it were to change?) * "A 2-octet field ..." -- suggest "two-octet" Section 11: * "Ethernet / IEEE ..." -- somewhere earlier in the document, the liberal spacing here caused funny wrapping to occur, so I suggest "Ethernet/IEEE" Section 12: * Same comment about the registry URLs here as above.
- [dhcwg] Murray Kucherawy's No Objection on draft-… Murray Kucherawy via Datatracker