Re: [dmarc-ietf] Ticket #113 - DMARCbis -01 Introduction Section

Dave Crocker <dcrocker@gmail.com> Fri, 04 June 2021 00:27 UTC

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To: Todd Herr <todd.herr=40valimail.com@dmarc.ietf.org>, IETF DMARC WG <dmarc@ietf.org>
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From: Dave Crocker <dcrocker@gmail.com>
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Date: Thu, 3 Jun 2021 17:27:17 -0700
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Subject: Re: [dmarc-ietf] Ticket #113 - DMARCbis -01 Introduction Section
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On 5/5/2021 11:48 AM, Todd Herr wrote:
>
>
> We would like to achieve rough consensus on this section of text by 
> Friday, May 21.

Apologies.  I've only just been able to review this text. Attached are 
suggested changes, done as a Word document with revision tracking turned on.

It might appear that the edits effect major substance changes to the 
Introduction, but I believe they do not; the intent was to retain the 
same goals for the Introduction.

Changes were driven by:

  * Providing better lead-in for readers with less background on the
    document's topic
  * Eliminating detail that is not need in an introduction
  * Minimizing PSO text, since I belive the covered domains have Domain
    Owners whether they are PSOs or not; hence the fact of being a PSO
    has minimal import in the Introduction
  * General wordsmithing, to tighten things up

d/

-- 
Dave Crocker
dcrocker@gmail.com
408.329.0791

Volunteer, Silicon Valley Chapter
Information & Planning Coordinator
American Red Cross
dave.crocker2@redcross.org