Re: [dnssd] [Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-dnssd-prireq-04

Alissa Cooper <alissa@cooperw.in> Wed, 04 March 2020 14:38 UTC

Return-Path: <alissa@cooperw.in>
X-Original-To: dnssd@ietfa.amsl.com
Delivered-To: dnssd@ietfa.amsl.com
Received: from localhost (localhost [127.0.0.1]) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id 5D5803A100D; Wed, 4 Mar 2020 06:38:23 -0800 (PST)
X-Virus-Scanned: amavisd-new at amsl.com
X-Spam-Flag: NO
X-Spam-Score: -2.089
X-Spam-Level:
X-Spam-Status: No, score=-2.089 tagged_above=-999 required=5 tests=[BAYES_00=-1.9, DKIM_SIGNED=0.1, DKIM_VALID=-0.1, DKIM_VALID_AU=-0.1, DKIM_VALID_EF=-0.1, T_SPF_TEMPERROR=0.01, URIBL_BLOCKED=0.001] autolearn=ham autolearn_force=no
Authentication-Results: ietfa.amsl.com (amavisd-new); dkim=pass (2048-bit key) header.d=cooperw.in header.b=yTFsHs0N; dkim=pass (2048-bit key) header.d=messagingengine.com header.b=W4ueK+o0
Received: from mail.ietf.org ([4.31.198.44]) by localhost (ietfa.amsl.com [127.0.0.1]) (amavisd-new, port 10024) with ESMTP id 4xoiBlonPTZk; Wed, 4 Mar 2020 06:38:18 -0800 (PST)
Received: from wout3-smtp.messagingengine.com (wout3-smtp.messagingengine.com [64.147.123.19]) (using TLSv1.2 with cipher AECDH-AES256-SHA (256/256 bits)) (No client certificate requested) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTPS id DB2A13A100A; Wed, 4 Mar 2020 06:38:14 -0800 (PST)
Received: from compute4.internal (compute4.nyi.internal [10.202.2.44]) by mailout.west.internal (Postfix) with ESMTP id 049654FF; Wed, 4 Mar 2020 09:38:13 -0500 (EST)
Received: from mailfrontend1 ([10.202.2.162]) by compute4.internal (MEProxy); Wed, 04 Mar 2020 09:38:14 -0500
DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed; d=cooperw.in; h= content-type:mime-version:subject:from:in-reply-to:date:cc :content-transfer-encoding:message-id:references:to; s=fm2; bh=z v2xfBvzCtar9l0l0F9BYkuEce7dR8rVSlJMPUDoKL0=; b=yTFsHs0Nb12xvxzVu RaLKHx/C/yX+uRyk4RUqesunZhzQGNmNlFpPOC91LL7J2AojJNJbhtwPdtRhhFK+ X2+AbzoeG/ciZX/s1o4hb8uEfPiZKZlprSn2mGZDNBwx+Shjg3+iXsokuz3Yf3tP gWuf+ts1o5WXuwEll1g342KQxmnmnG6C/Pcb0EVJjdvHIl8ts38YHE7E2er220U2 rH0fIFBNf9XDkJ3i7OFPcKk0rP2tB5eGS2CDFfioLzhEPJnmTka2SVBC5sgqOC8e IdKEoxPg/njTDiwXbqBn8je2LbqR4J+2dv6bQ7EMT2UOHkqAnderNhlggZg8WxXA AFopQ==
DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed; d= messagingengine.com; h=cc:content-transfer-encoding:content-type :date:from:in-reply-to:message-id:mime-version:references :subject:to:x-me-proxy:x-me-proxy:x-me-sender:x-me-sender :x-sasl-enc; s=fm2; bh=zv2xfBvzCtar9l0l0F9BYkuEce7dR8rVSlJMPUDoK L0=; b=W4ueK+o0VRUVnKEx3Iqitpm3GHDxX12ukMXVORAJ/oFkMQgZjKC+a9U1B bUM2wfT2TCWGy+vUlRn8ThPsX3dsZBt+e99eZXP7v+g4P8z17l3EWY+fQrNG8/vA YIU7gdGycTOn5eKetF6IUKOcqQbyykDFVPXbZzB3lOBJJ7lr0zZiRy3sfx9DMUAH sfUvB/IwyUAtYxYwm4cbovoPw9uBzUpo0dJq1zQs9ZoN4a6/VWL8IYk0XkiwRF5t RKIBf9VNV5DsLucoIX4LRCD27Y2gM2T0tvmHqaaMEboncb1Xwj5ite4ZtK5r6thb SIh26KfPspWC7fnBTiAbiGkbduLtw==
X-ME-Sender: <xms:Vb1fXkqJ_Q9zdBRoM5rRp2OfsUQVhBjvuEbyCZx-TlT_ONfEzvT7eA>
X-ME-Proxy-Cause: gggruggvucftvghtrhhoucdtuddrgedugedruddtkedgieejucetufdoteggodetrfdotf fvucfrrhhofhhilhgvmecuhfgrshhtofgrihhlpdfqfgfvpdfurfetoffkrfgpnffqhgen uceurghilhhouhhtmecufedttdenucesvcftvggtihhpihgvnhhtshculddquddttddmne cujfgurheptggguffhjgffgffkfhfvofesthhqmhdthhdtjeenucfhrhhomheptehlihhs shgrucevohhophgvrhcuoegrlhhishhsrgestghoohhpvghrfidrihhnqeenucffohhmrg hinhepihgvthhfrdhorhhgnecukfhppedujeefrdefkedruddujedrjedunecuvehluhhs thgvrhfuihiivgeptdenucfrrghrrghmpehmrghilhhfrhhomheprghlihhsshgrsegtoh hophgvrhifrdhinh
X-ME-Proxy: <xmx:Vb1fXgqGR1bgse4tzZvUhQKFUSLxfzliROJfFMV3_S1FjDdkMNUlqg> <xmx:Vb1fXja4Y9k7Igm1jpTyWpl7v6GrIubSvdrlQtG-S11NxucZtUO6gg> <xmx:Vb1fXvxyUidRR9-JJcI3FV9A7ot8RtjKQSxWmogoCt0Zrndx2ea9-g> <xmx:Vb1fXnjFqSJDyy7csU27iS86Xpvd-e_EkHOxcaiyCrCsNbb6Ok5TFA>
Received: from rtp-alcoop-nitro2.cisco.com (unknown [173.38.117.71]) by mail.messagingengine.com (Postfix) with ESMTPA id 020493280060; Wed, 4 Mar 2020 09:38:12 -0500 (EST)
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=utf-8
Mime-Version: 1.0 (Mac OS X Mail 11.5 \(3445.9.1\))
From: Alissa Cooper <alissa@cooperw.in>
In-Reply-To: <158109060108.11593.18381186607321338415@ietfa.amsl.com>
Date: Wed, 4 Mar 2020 09:38:13 -0500
Cc: General Area Review Team <gen-art@ietf.org>, draft-ietf-dnssd-prireq.all@ietf.org, last-call@ietf.org, dnssd@ietf.org
Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
Message-Id: <15CEC62E-97B3-47F8-A497-061EB0A03BCE@cooperw.in>
References: <158109060108.11593.18381186607321338415@ietfa.amsl.com>
To: Robert Sparks <rjsparks@nostrum.com>
X-Mailer: Apple Mail (2.3445.9.1)
Archived-At: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/dnssd/duKK3DNePA50eKC-IrrwT-WK_8Q>
Subject: Re: [dnssd] [Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-dnssd-prireq-04
X-BeenThere: dnssd@ietf.org
X-Mailman-Version: 2.1.29
Precedence: list
List-Id: "Discussion of extensions to DNS-based service discovery for routed networks." <dnssd.ietf.org>
List-Unsubscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/options/dnssd>, <mailto:dnssd-request@ietf.org?subject=unsubscribe>
List-Archive: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/browse/dnssd/>
List-Post: <mailto:dnssd@ietf.org>
List-Help: <mailto:dnssd-request@ietf.org?subject=help>
List-Subscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/dnssd>, <mailto:dnssd-request@ietf.org?subject=subscribe>
X-List-Received-Date: Wed, 04 Mar 2020 14:38:24 -0000

Robert, thanks for your review. Authors, I see that the changes have been applied — thanks. I entered a Yes ballot.

Alissa


> On Feb 7, 2020, at 10:50 AM, Robert Sparks via Datatracker <noreply@ietf.org> wrote:
> 
> Reviewer: Robert Sparks
> Review result: Ready with Nits
> 
> This is a combined genart and secdir last-call review.
> Please treat these comments just like any other last call comments.
> 
> Document: draft-ietf-dnssd-prireq-04
> Reviewer: Robert Sparks
> Review Date: 2020-02-07
> IETF LC End Date: 2020-02-12
> IESG Telechat date: Not scheduled for a telechat
> 
> Summary: Ready (but with nits) for publication as an Informational RFC
> 
> This document provides a set of high-level requirements for a DNS-SD
> privacy exptension, and discussion motivating those requirements.
> 
> Comment:
> It might be good to call out in the discussion that while it is intended
> to be thorough, it's not possible to be exhaustive.
> 
> Nits (editorial, in document order):
> 
> The last sentence of the first paragraph of the introduction is complex.
> Consider breaking it apart.
> 
> In the introduction at "When analyzing these scenarios in Section 3.2",
> did you mean Section 3.1?
> 
> In the first sentence of 3.2 at "the scenarios in Section 2", did you
> mean Section 3.1?
> 
> At the first sentence in 3.4.4, at "online" did you mean "on-link"?
> 
> The statement in the second paragraph of section 4 is perhaps too strong.
> Consider changing "will lead" to "are intended to lead".
> 
> The item numbering in sections 4.1 and 4.2 are messsed up.
> 
> The intent of the next to last paragraph in 4.1 and the last paragraph in 4.2
> could be made more clear. I suggest something like: "When listing and resolving
> services in current DNS-SD deployments".
> 
> 
> 
> _______________________________________________
> Gen-art mailing list
> Gen-art@ietf.org
> https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art