Re: [Dots] Shepherd review of draft-ietf-dots-telemetry-use-cases

[Valery Smyslov <[e-mail]>]

Hi Yuhei,

thank you for updating the document. I've been waiting for the 
remaining author to provide IPR confirmation. Once I receive it,
I'll send the document to IESG.

Regards,
Valery.

> Hi Valery,
> 
> Thank you for your careful review.
> 
> We fixed the nits and posted it as draft-ietf-dots-telemetry-use-cases-10.
> 
> >4. Section 3.1.1.
> >   After that, the orchestrator
> >   orders the forwarding nodes to redirect as much of the top talker's traffic...
> > Shouldn't it be top-talkers' ?
> >7. Section 3.1.5.
> > s/The forwarding nodes  send traffic statistics ... to the orchestrator the using "vendor-id" and "attack-id"
> telemetry attributes/
> > The forwarding nodes  send traffic statistics ... to the orchestrator by using "vendor-id" and "attack-id"
> telemetry attributes
> 
> We found the same nits in draft-ietf-dots-telemetry-use-cases-9, so we
> fixed them all.
> 
> Thanks,
> Yuhei
> 
> 2022年3月31日(木) 22:54 Valery Smyslov <[e-mail]>:
> >
> > Hi,
> >
> > I reviewed the document and found some nits (mostly grammar and typos).
> >
> > 1. Abstract.
> >
> > The expansion of DOTS is "DDoS Open Threat Signaling". In the abstract it is expanded as "Denial-of-service
> Open Threat Signaling".
> >
> > 2. Figure 1, Figure 3, Figure 5, Figure 7, Figure 16, Figure 18.
> >
> > All contain the same typo:
> >
> > s/S is for DOTS client functionality/S is for DOTS server functionality
> >
> > 3. Section 3.1.1.
> >
> > IPFIX, BGP, SNMP aren't expanded on first use.
> >
> > 4. Section 3.1.1.
> >
> >    After that, the orchestrator
> >    orders the forwarding nodes to redirect as much of the top talker's traffic...
> >
> > Shouldn't it be top-talkers' ?
> >
> > 5. Figure 7.
> >
> > s/BGP Flow spec/BGP Flowspec
> >
> > 6. Section 3.1.5.
> >
> > s/It may also necessary/It may also be necessary
> >
> > 7. Section 3.1.5.
> >
> > s/The forwarding nodes  send traffic statistics ... to the orchestrator the using "vendor-id" and "attack-id"
> telemetry attributes/
> > The forwarding nodes  send traffic statistics ... to the orchestrator by using "vendor-id" and "attack-id"
> telemetry attributes
> >
> > 8. Section 3.2.
> >
> > s/Figure 15 provides ...  from the orchestrator to the network ./Figure 15 provides ...  from the orchestrator
> to the network.
> >
> > 9. Section 3.2.
> >
> > s/Then, the DDoS mitigation systems reports the status of DDoS countermeasures to the orchestrator
> sending "attack-detail" telemetry
> > attributes./
> > Then, the DDoS mitigation systems reports the status of DDoS countermeasures to the orchestrator by
> sending "attack-detail"
> > telemetry attributes.
> >
> > 10. Section 3.2.
> >
> > s/After  that, the orchestrator integrates the reports ... and send it to a network administrator .../
> > After  that, the orchestrator integrates the reports ... and sends them to a network administrator ...
> >
> > (two places)
> >
> > 11. Section 3.3.1.
> >
> >    On the other hand, DDoS detection based on the
> >    DMSes is a more accurate method for detecting attack traffic better
> >    than flow monitoring.
> >
> > I have trouble parsing this text. Probably:
> >
> >   On the other hand, DDoS detection based on the
> >    DMSes is a more accurate method for detecting attack traffic
> >    than flow monitoring.
> >
> > 12. Section 3.3.1.
> >
> > s/The aim of this use case is to increases flow collector's detection .../The aim of this use case is to increase
> flow collector's
> > detection ...
> >
> > 13. Section 3.3.1.
> >
> > s/statisticsto/statistics to
> >
> > 14. Section 4.
> >
> > s/a DDoS attacks/DDoS attacks
> >
> > Regards,
> > Valery.
> >
> 
> 
> --
> ----------------------------------
> Yuuhei HAYASHI
> 08065300884
> [e-mail]
> [e-mail]
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