> On 1 Feb 2016, at 12:26, Mat Ford wrote: > > Thanks very much for the detailed review Niels, it is valuable. > > Authors - please discuss how you would like to address these comments and let Niels and myself know. If there is a need for further discussion, please let’s keep that on gaia@irtf.org. > > Mat > >> On 30 Jan 2016, at 23:35, Niels ten Oever wrote: >> >> Dear all, >> >> Please find my review of >> https://www.ietf.org/id/draft-irtf-gaia-alternative-network-deployments-03.txt >> below. This is my first IRSG review, so please bear with me. >> >> I mostly followed https://wiki.tools.ietf.org/html/rfc5743#section-2.2 >> and academic review practices, but please let me know where I might have >> misstepped. >> >> I hope this is useful. >> >> 0. >> The topic of the draft is very relevant and timely and brings together >> many different angles that are needed to address the multidisciplinary >> nature of access, the Internet, and community owned networks. >> >> 1. >> The issue of the digital divide is approached from a 'development >> studies' paradigm (e.g. developing countries), quite some scientific >> literature has been published about this topic. Most current literature >> acknowledges that for instance term 'developing country' is problematic >> because it assumes that all countries are on a similar trajectory, from >> 'underdeveloped' to 'western'. Empirical data shows that this is not the >> case. More accurate would be to address differential developmental >> trajectories by referring to the Global North vs. the Global South, or >> using other frames. >> >> Also terms like 'Digital Divide', 'Data Revolution', 'Information >> Society' as well as the 'WSIS process' have been dissected, discussed >> and interpreted in quite a variety of ways. it might be good to engage >> with the literature on this if you would like to use these terms, and >> if so, refer to the relevant sources. >> >> Same is true for the method or model of knowledge transfer that is >> mentioned in the draft. At several places it is implied that knowledge >> travels from North to South and from Urban to Rural, which might be a >> one dimensional way of representing a quite multifaceted process of >> technology appropriation and development. >> >> In terms of methodology: you are clearly coming at this problem from a >> multidisciplinary approach. Which is great, considering the >> multidisciplinary nature of the Internet and the problem you are >> addressing. However, if you do decide to use concepts from different >> fields and disciplines (like for instance urban and rural from urban >> planning, demand and provision from economics or the digital divide from >> sociology) it is important to make this explicit. I would suggest adding >> a sub-section in which you explain how you built your multidisciplinary >> research method and why you use the concepts you applied. >> >> 2. >> There is a lot of doubling between abstract and introduction. I >> recommend reducing the abstract. >> >> 3. >> The discussion under point 1. and 2. is maybe not necessary for >> achieving the goal of providing a a taxonomy of alternative network >> deployments. However, Maybe the first part could be shorter. >> >> 4. >> It could perhaps be interesting to provide some additional information >> on actual alternative network deployments, perhaps by providing some >> case studies and, on the basis of these, a set of best practices / >> recommendations for specific situations. >> >> In the attached file more inline editorial comments and suggestions are >> provided. >> >> Best, >> >> Niels >> >> >> >> -- >> Niels ten Oever >> Head of Digital >> >> Article 19 >> www.article19.org >> >> PGP fingerprint 8D9F C567 BEE4 A431 56C4 >> 678B 08B5 A0F2 636D 68E9 >> >> >> Niels ten Oever >> Head of Digital >> >> Article 19 >> www.article19.org >> >> PGP fingerprint 8D9F C567 BEE4 A431 56C4 >> 678B 08B5 A0F2 636D 68E9 >> >> On 01/14/2016 12:39 PM, Mat Ford wrote: >>> Hi folks, >>> >>> The GAIA RG has successfully concluded an RG Last Call for the document >>>> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-irtf-gaia-alternative-network-deployments/ >>> >>> As document shepherd I’m now looking for someone from the IRSG to review the document. Any volunteers? >>> >>> If no one volunteers, Lisandro Granville is top of the list: https://trac.tools.ietf.org/group/irtf/trac/wiki/IRSGReviewLog >>> >>> Mat >>> >> >