[Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-6lo-backbone-router-14

Elwyn Davies via Datatracker <noreply@ietf.org> Fri, 07 February 2020 00:37 UTC

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Subject: [Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-6lo-backbone-router-14
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Reviewer: Elwyn Davies
Review result: Ready with Nits

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
like any other last call comments.

For more information, please see the FAQ at

<https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Document: draft-ietf-6lo-backbone-router-14
Reviewer: Elwyn Davies
Review Date: 2020-02-06
IETF LC End Date: 2020-02-06
IESG Telechat date: Not scheduled for a telechat
Summary: Ready with nits.
Major issues:
None

Minor issues:
None

Nits/editorial comments:
General: s/i.e. /i.e., / (4 places), s/e.g. /e.g.,/ (2 places)

Abbreviations: The definition of abbreviations in this document is inconistent.
There is a list of abbreviations but it is not complete; many abbreviations are
introduced in the text in the usual way and there are some that are not
expanded. Please be consistent - a complete list would be helpful, especially
as some are used before the abbreviations section.

References to Neighbor Solicitation/Advertisement messages: The formats
NS(xxxx) and NA(xxxx) are used to refer to various NS/NA messages. Please add
an explanation of this convention and a definition of the various messages
referred to.

Use of Layer-2 and Layer-3:  These terms are not normally  hyphenated.
s1: Term STA used for a 'node': Please expand this abbreviation and possibly
explain why it is used (I am unclear how it is derived).

s1, para 5: s/Like/In the same way as/

s1, para 5: ID is not a well-known abbreviation - please expand on first use.

s1, para 9: Need to expand MAC.

s2.2, "Sleeping Proxy": It might be useful to add in " which might be in a
sleep state in a low power network".

s2.2, "Routing Proxy": Need to expand TLLA.

s3, para 1: s/The next/The following/

s3, 2nd set of bullets, bullet #2: s/This includes participating to the
      solicited-node multicast address/This includes responding to messages
      addressed tothe solicited-node multicast address/

s3, 2nd set of bullets, bullet #3: Expand NUD on first use (currently expanded
twice in sss6 and 8).

s3.1: Expand SLLAO on first use.

s3.3, para at bottom of page 13 just before Figure 5: s/is a transmitted as a
multicast/is transmitted as a multicast /

s3.3, last para: s/suggests using RPL/suggests using the RPL routing protocol/

s3.4, last para: s/details/detail/

s3.5, para 1: s/as silently ignored./are silently ignored./

s4, last para: s/the MTU MUST have a same value/the MTU MUST have the same
value/

s5, para 2: s/It results that a 6LBR MUST be capable of maintaining a
state/Consequently a 6LBR MUST be capable of maintaining state/

s5, para 3: s/ which may be avoided of/ which may be avoided if/

s5, para 5: Expand TLLAO on first use.

s9: It would be useful to add a forward ref to s12 where the value of
TENTATIVE_DURATION is defined.

s9.1: Remove empty second bullet.

Titles of ss9.1, 9.2 and 9.3: I Think these should be "Operations on...."

s9.2, 1st bullet: s/small timer/timer with a short setting/.  Is it possible to
recommend any values here or indicate how to assign a suitable value?

ss9.2, 9.3: It would be useful to add a forward ref to s12 where the value of
STALE_DURATION is defined.