Re: [Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-softwire-dslite-multicast-14.txt

<mohamed.boucadair@orange.com> Mon, 09 January 2017 15:11 UTC

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From: <mohamed.boucadair@orange.com>
To: Francis Dupont <Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr>, "gen-art@ietf.org" <gen-art@ietf.org>
Thread-Topic: review of draft-ietf-softwire-dslite-multicast-14.txt
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Date: Mon, 9 Jan 2017 15:11:49 +0000
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Subject: Re: [Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-softwire-dslite-multicast-14.txt
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Hi Francis, 

Thank you for the review. 

Please see inline. 

Cheers,
Med

> -----Message d'origine-----
> De : Francis Dupont [mailto:Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr]
> Envoyé : lundi 9 janvier 2017 15:34
> À : gen-art@ietf.org
> Cc : draft-ietf-softwire-dslite-multicast.all@ietf.org
> Objet : review of draft-ietf-softwire-dslite-multicast-14.txt
> 
> I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
> Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
> by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
> like any other last call comments.
> 
> For more information, please see the FAQ at
> 
> <https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>;.
> 
> Document: draft-ietf-softwire-dslite-multicast-14.txt
> Reviewer: Francis Dupont
> Review Date: 20170106
> IETF LC End Date: 2017012
> IESG Telechat date: unknown
> 
> Summary: Ready with Nits
> 
> Major issues: None
> 
> Minor issues: please consider to publish this as a BCP (vs standard
> track)?
> I don't know if this question is new or already got an answer,
> this is why I kept the Ready summary. BTW the IANA section is empty
> so there is nothing requiring a standard track document.

[Med] The intended status is aligned with the status used for the counterpart unicast specifications (DS-Lite, MAP-*). 

> 
> Nits/editorial comments:
>  - ToC page 3 and 10 page 16: Acknowledgements -> Acknowledgments

[Med] It seems that the RFC editor accepts "Acknowledgements", too. 

> 
>  - 4.2 page 7: RECOMMENDED inside an explicitly "not normative"
>   section 4

[Med] Good catch. Changed it to "recommended".

> 
>  - 6.1 page 11: in "The mB4 may create": may -> MAY?
[Med] Yes, fixed. 

> 
>  - 6.3 page 11: in "decapsulate the IPv6 packet": IPv6 -> IPv4
[Med] What about "decapsulate the IPv6 header"?

> 
>  - 7.2 page 13 figure 3 and 8.1.1 page 15 figure 4:
>    mPreifx64 -> mPrefix64
[Med] Thank you for catching those. Fixed. 

> 
>  - 7.2 page 13 last paragraph: (S6,G6) -> (S6, G6)
>   (I am not strict about space or not but in this paragraph there is
>    already a (S6, G6))

[Med] I guess you meant change (S6, G6) to (S6,G6). Fixed. 

> 
>  - 7.5 page 14: Global scope;) -> Global scope)
[Med] I changed it to:

OLD: 
to "E" Global scope;)

NEW: 

to "E" for Global scope)

> 
>  - 8.4 page 16: please use a non-breaking space so (S6, G6) stays
>   on the same line in the text version (and hopefully (S4, G4) too).

[Med] Actually, I removed the extra space to be consistent with other usages in the document.

> 
>  - Authors' Addresses page 20: China -> PR China (or any variant
>   including CN (ISO IS 3166 2 letter code))

[Med] Changed it to "P.R. China". 

> 
> Regards
> 
> Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr