[Gen-art] Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-dnsop-edns-key-tag-03

Christer Holmberg <christer.holmberg@ericsson.com> Wed, 04 January 2017 18:24 UTC

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From: Christer Holmberg <christer.holmberg@ericsson.com>
To: "gen-art@ietf.org" <gen-art@ietf.org>
Thread-Topic: Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-dnsop-edns-key-tag-03
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Date: Wed, 04 Jan 2017 18:24:53 +0000
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Subject: [Gen-art] Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-dnsop-edns-key-tag-03
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I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>

Document:                       draft-ietf-dnsop-edns-key-tag-03.txt
Reviewer:                         Christer Holmberg
Review Date:                   4 January 2017
IETF LC End Date:           10 January 2017
IETF Telechat Date:        19 January 2017

Summary: The document is well written, and almost ready for publication. However, I have one issue, and a few minor editorial issues in the Abstract/Introduction that I ask the authors to address.
 
Major Issues:

Q1_Abstract:
------------------

The text says:

   "The reason there are two methods instead of one is some people see significant problems with each method."

This text looks very strange to an outsider like myself. I can understand that people sometimes have different preferences, but when you say "people see significant problems" it makes me wonder why a publication request has been done in the first place. Don't we normally publish RFCs because we want to SOLVE problems - not because we want to (at least not intentionally) create new ones? :)

I think it would be good to talk about people having different preferences (and within the document the reasons can be described in more detail) instead of people seeing problems.

Also, I am not sure whether the Abstract needs to talk about the reason for having two methods. I think  a statement saying that the background and reason for two methods are described within the document would be enough within the Abstract.


Minor Issues: Note


Editorial Issues:

Q2_Section_1:
--------------------

In order to use consistent terminology, please replace "This draft" with "This document".


Q3_Section_1:
--------------------

The text says:

"This is done in two ways:"

I suggest to replace the text with the statement found in the Abstract:

   "This document describes two independent methods for validating
   resolvers to publish their referenced keys:"


Q4_Section_1-1:
----------------------

The text says:

   "Initially this document was named draft-edns-key-tag and proposed
   including Key Tag values in a new EDNS(0) option code.  It was
   modeled after [RFC6975], which provides DNSSEC algorithm signaling."

Why do you include the name of the initial draft? Initial drafts can be called anything. I think it is enough to instead talk about the initially suggested mechanism. Something like:

   "Initially, when the work on this document started, it proposed
   including Key Tag values in a new EDNS(0) option code.  It was
   modeled after [RFC6975], which provides DNSSEC algorithm signaling."


Q5_Section_1-1:
----------------------

The text says:

"The authors received feedback from Working Group participants"

Please write the name of the Working Group. The name of the WG is currently only mentioned in the Acknowledgements.