Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART Review of draft-ietf-l2vpn-vpls-pe-etree-10

Jari Arkko <jari.arkko@piuha.net> Thu, 03 December 2015 12:07 UTC

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From: Jari Arkko <jari.arkko@piuha.net>
In-Reply-To: <3B0A1BED22CAD649A1B3E97BE5DDD68B915EDA78@szxema506-mbs.china.huawei.com>
Date: Thu, 3 Dec 2015 14:07:54 +0200
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References: <46A1A261-E9F4-414D-AAD8-9C85A8B53283@vigilsec.com> <9ED27C8A-52FE-4E5B-AAF0-7F9F92D826C5@vigilsec.com> <3B0A1BED22CAD649A1B3E97BE5DDD68B915EDA78@szxema506-mbs.china.huawei.com>
To: Jiangyuanlong <jiangyuanlong@huawei.com>, Russ Housley <housley@vigilsec.com>
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Subject: Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART Review of draft-ietf-l2vpn-vpls-pe-etree-10
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Many thanks for your detailed review, Russ!

Yuanlong, will there be a new draft version or other edits before the draft
is approved?

Jari

On 17 Nov 2015, at 00:53, Jiangyuanlong <jiangyuanlong@huawei.com> wrote:

> Russ,
> 
> Thanks a lot for your review and good observations.
> Please see my comments in line.
> 
> Best regards,
> Yuanlong
> 
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: Russ Housley [mailto:housley@vigilsec.com]
>> Sent: Saturday, November 14, 2015 1:28 AM
>> To: draft-ietf-l2vpn-vpls-pe-etree.all@ietf.org
>> Cc: IETF Gen-ART; IETF
>> Subject: Gen-ART Review of draft-ietf-l2vpn-vpls-pe-etree-10
>> 
>> I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area Review
>> Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the IESG for
>> the IETF Chair. Please wait for direction from your document shepherd or AD
>> before posting a new version of the draft.
>> 
>> For more information, please see the FAQ at
>> <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.
>> 
>> Document: draft-ietf-l2vpn-vpls-pe-etree-10
>> Reviewer: Russ Housley
>> Review Date: 2015-11-13
>> IETF LC End Date: 2015-11-24
>> IESG Telechat date: unknown
>> 
>> Summary:  Almost Ready
>> 
>> 
>> Major Concerns: None
>> 
>> 
>> Minor Concerns:
>> 
>> Sections 4.1 and 5.3.1 inclues a reference to [802.1Q-2011].  Should this be
>> the 2014 version of the document?  If not, please add the informative
>> reference for [802.1Q-2011].
>> 
> [YJ] Yes, all these should refer to [802.1Q-2014].
> 
>> 
>> Other Editorial Comments:
>> 
>> The Abstract should appear on the title page.
>> 
> [YJ] OK.
> 
>> Section 3 needs a reference for MEF 6.1:
>> s/Specification MEF 6.1/Specification MEF 6.1 [MEF6.1]/ Also, [MEF6.1]
>> needs to be added as a normative reference.
>> 
> [YJ] All these will be updated to MEF 6.2.
> 
>> Section 3 needs a reference for IEEE 802.1Q-2003:
>> s/B.1.3 of IEEE 802.1Q-2003/B.1.3 of IEEE 802.1Q-2003 [802.1Q-2003]/ Also,
>> please add an informative reference for [802.1Q-2003].
>> 
> [YJ] Yes, we will add an informative reference for [802.1Q-2003].
> 
>> Third level section headings do not have space between the section number
>> and the section title.  For example:
>> s/5.3.1.PW Processing/5.3.1. PW Processing/
>> 
> [YJ] OK.
> 
>> In Fig 4, there is room to shift the figure to the right, this will allow the "AC"
>> labels to fit better on the left:
>> 
>>              +----------------------------------------+
>>              |           VPLS-capable PE model        |
>>              |   +---------------+          +------+  |
>>              |   |               |==========|TVSI-1|------------
>>   +---+  AC  |   |               ------------      |------------ PWs
>>   |CE |----------|     Bridge    ------------      |------------
>>   +---+      |   |               | Root &   +------+  |
>>              |   |     Module    | Leaf VLAN   o      |
>>              |   |               |             o      |
>>              |   |               |             o      |
>>              |   |               |             o      |
>>              |   |               |             o      |
>>   +---+  AC  |   |               |   VLAN-n +------+  |
>>   |CE |----------|               ------------VSI-n |-------------
>>   +---+      |   |               |==========|      |------------- PWs
>>              |   |               |     ^    |      |-------------
>>              |   +---------------+     |    +------+  |
>>              |                         |              |
>>              +-------------------------|--------------+
>>                            LAN emulation Interface
>> 
>>          Figure 4  A VPLS PE Model for E-Tree with a Single T-VSI
> 
> 
> [YJ] OK.
> 
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