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[Gen-art] Re: Genart last call review of draft-ietf-teas-applicability-actn-slicing-07

Adrian Farrel <adrian@olddog.co.uk> Sat, 10 August 2024 09:09 UTC

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Date: Sat, 10 Aug 2024 10:08:51 +0100
From: Adrian Farrel <adrian@olddog.co.uk>
To: Peter Yee <peter@akayla.com>, Peter Yee via Datatracker <noreply@ietf.org>, gen-art@ietf.org
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Thanks, Peter!
 
We'll buffer those changes.
 
Cheers, 
Adrian 
On 10/08/2024 06:26 BST Peter Yee via Datatracker <noreply@ietf.org> wrote:
 
 
Reviewer: Peter Yee
Review result: Ready with Nits
 
I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
by the IESG for the IETF Chair. Please treat these comments just
like any other last call comments.
 
For more information, please see the FAQ at
 
 
Document: draft-ietf-teas-applicability-actn-slicing-07
Reviewer: Peter Yee
Review Date: 2024-08-09
IETF LC End Date: 2024-08-08
IESG Telechat date: Not scheduled for a telechat
 
Summary: This is an informational draft on how (IETF) network slicing in TE
networks can be accomplished using concepts from RFC 8453 and RFC 9543. This is
well outside of my wheelhouse, so I’m not providing any real technical input.
There are some editorial items in the document that ought to be fixed before
publication. [Ready with nits]
 
Major issues: None
 
Minor issues: None
 
Nits/editorial comments:
 
Page 1, Abstract, 4th paragraph: delete the comma between “ACTN” and “and”.
 
Page 6, section 2.2, 1st sentence: delete the comma between “network” and “and”.
 
Page 6, section 2.3, 2nd paragraph: change “sharing or” to “sharing of”.
 
Page 6, section 1st bullet item: delete the comma after “congestion”.
 
Page 11, section 3.4.1, 1st bullet item: change “is” to “are”.
 
Page 20, section 6, 1st paragraph, 3rd sentence: change “providers” to
“provider’s”.
 
Page 20, section 6, 3rd paragraph, 1st sentence: change “risk data” to “risk of
data”. Insert “and” before “no transfer of knowledge”.

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