Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART LC Review of draft-ietf-krb-wg-des-die-die-die-04

Tom Yu <tlyu@MIT.EDU> Thu, 05 April 2012 14:46 UTC

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To: Christer Holmberg <christer.holmberg@ericsson.com>
References: <7F2072F1E0DE894DA4B517B93C6A05852C428E2F6D@ESESSCMS0356.eemea.ericsson.se>
From: Tom Yu <tlyu@MIT.EDU>
Date: Thu, 05 Apr 2012 10:46:08 -0400
In-Reply-To: <7F2072F1E0DE894DA4B517B93C6A05852C428E2F6D@ESESSCMS0356.eemea.ericsson.se> (Christer Holmberg's message of "Tue, 3 Apr 2012 21:11:00 +0200")
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Cc: "draft-ietf-krb-wg-des-die-die-die.all@tools.ietf.org" <draft-ietf-krb-wg-des-die-die-die.all@tools.ietf.org>, "gen-art@ietf.org" <gen-art@ietf.org>
Subject: Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART LC Review of draft-ietf-krb-wg-des-die-die-die-04
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Christer Holmberg <christer.holmberg@ericsson.com> writes:

> Nits/editorial comments:
>
> - Section 5, which updates the affected RFCs, is named 'Recommendations'. Would it be better to use 'Updates to RFC XXXX' naming instead, and have a separate section for each RFC updated?

The paragraphs in Section 5 are roughly grouped by the type of
algorithm they refer to, which seems logical to me.  Do you believe
that other readers would prefer that the updates be grouped by the
affected RFC?

I should be able to rearrange the contents of Section 5 with
subsection headings of "Updates to RFC XXXX" with minimal textual
changes.  Section 5 might also be better titled "Actions" or "Updates
to specifications".  What do you think?