[Gen-art] Gen-ART Review of draft-watson-fecframe-raptor-10

<kathleen.moriarty@emc.com> Mon, 19 March 2012 02:42 UTC

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From: <kathleen.moriarty@emc.com>
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Date: Sun, 18 Mar 2012 22:42:29 -0400
Thread-Topic: Gen-ART Review of draft-watson-fecframe-raptor-10
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Cc: stockhammer@nomor.de, watsonm@netflix.com, luby@qualcomm.com
Subject: [Gen-art] Gen-ART Review of draft-watson-fecframe-raptor-10
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I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on
Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at
< http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>gt;.

Please wait for direction from your document shepherd
or AD before posting a new version of the draft.

Document: draft-watson-fecframe-raptor<https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-watson-fecframe-raptor/>-10
Reviewer: Kathleen Moriarty
Review Date: 3/18/12
IETF LC End Date:
IESG Telechat date: (if known)

Summary:  There are minor nits that should be resolved.
   This document describes Fully-Specified Forward Error Correction
   (FEC) Schemes for the Raptor and RaptorQ codes and their application
   to reliable delivery of media streams in the context of FEC
   Framework.


Major issues:

Minor issues:

Nits/editorial comments:
Introduction:  Consider changing the first sentence to introduce the acronym FEC:
The FEC Framework [RFC6363] describes a general framework for the use
   of Forward Error Correction in association with arbitrary packet flows.
TO: The Forward Error Correction (FEC) Framework [RFC6363] describes a general framework for the use
   of FEC in association with arbitrary packet flows.

Second paragraph:  Consider reducing the number of transition phrases:
From:  The FEC protection mechanism is independent of the type of the source
   data, which can be an arbitrary sequence of packets, including for
   example audio or video data.
To: The FEC protection mechanism is independent of the type of the source
   data, which can be an arbitrary sequence of packets, for
   example audio or video data.
Third bullet: define RTP

Section 2, second and third bullets,  Add a space after 'Section 6'

Section 4.2, add a colon after MSBL

Section 6.2.1.2:  There appears to be two spaces after MSBL in the second paragraph

Section 6.2.2:  There is a  '.' Out of place before Figure 2
In the paragraph after both figure 2 and 3, the trailing 'to' at the end of the sentence isn't necessary.

Section 6.2.3:
In the paragraph after both figure 4 and 5, the trailing 'to' at the end of the sentence isn't necessary.

Section 7.4:  Consider breaking the second sentence into multiple sentences.

Second paragraph, second sentence, consider using commas instead of dashes:
The
   MSBL parameter, and hence the number of symbols used in the FEC
   Encoding and Decoding operations, SHALL be set to one of the
   following values: