[Gen-art] Gen-ART LC review of draft-ietf-mediactrl-call-flows-13.txt

Brian E Carpenter <brian.e.carpenter@gmail.com> Sun, 25 August 2013 20:50 UTC

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Date: Mon, 26 Aug 2013 08:50:01 +1200
From: Brian E Carpenter <brian.e.carpenter@gmail.com>
Organization: University of Auckland
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Subject: [Gen-art] Gen-ART LC review of draft-ietf-mediactrl-call-flows-13.txt
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I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on
Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at
<http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments
you may receive.

Document: draft-ietf-mediactrl-call-flows-13.txt (Informational)
Reviewer: Brian Carpenter
Review Date: 2013-08-26
IETF LC End Date: 2013-09-13
IESG Telechat date:

Summary:  Ready
--------

Comment:
--------

This is a massive (175pp) and highly specialised document, for which a generalist
review is pretty much useless. I have not checked the example flows, XML extracts, etc.
IMHO, we have to trust the authors and the WG in a case like this.

The document is clear and where I have sampled the text in the examples it is
up to standard.

Editorial:
----------

There are a few abbreviations (AS, MS, CFW) that could usefully be included
in the Terminology section.

Also, AS is widely used in the IETF to mean Autonomous System. Some readers
might be confused at first, so this should be stated very clearly.

"Mealy automaton" (section 4.1) needs a reference. Or it might be sufficient
just to say "finite state automaton."