[Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-sidrops-bgpsec-rollover-02.txt
Francis Dupont <Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr> Mon, 09 October 2017 13:52 UTC
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From: Francis Dupont <Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr>
To: gen-art@ietf.org
Cc: draft-ietf-sidrops-bgpsec-rollover.all@ietf.org
Date: Mon, 09 Oct 2017 15:32:15 +0200
Archived-At: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/gen-art/711NXLg4lEpaioXBKt9kBTfuacQ>
Subject: [Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-sidrops-bgpsec-rollover-02.txt
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I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the IESG for the IETF Chair. Please treat these comments just like any other last call comments. For more information, please see the FAQ at <https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>. Document: draft-ietf-sidrops-bgpsec-rollover-02.txt Reviewer: Francis Dupont Review Date: 20171007 IETF LC End Date: 20171017 IESG Telechat date: unknown Summary: Ready Major issues: None Minor issues: None Nits/editorial comments: IMHO the language itself needs some improvements. Unfortunately I am not a native English writer so I can only be a limited help... - Abstract page 1: bad wording in "... certificates BGPsec router certificates" - Abstract page 1: Normal -> normal - Abstract page 1: "creating" does not fit in grammar. Perhaps "which create"? - Abstract page 1: I suggest accomplished -> performed (this point is typical of why a native English writer will really help) - ToC page 2 and 4/4.2 page 7: titles of 4 and 4.2 are too close - ToC page 2 and 7 page 9: Acknowledgements -> Acknowledgments - 2 page 2: I suggest the local policies of a network. -> the local policies of network. - 2 page 3: as the 2119 lowe case keyword issue is now solved you may use "may" as in "documents may reference" but perhaps with an upgrade to the standard 2119 reference text. I am asking to the gen-art what to do (and I expect to get an answer before the LC). - 2 page 3, 3.1 and 4 page 6: roll-over -> rollover (i.e. keep one spelling) - 4.2 page 7: i.e. -> i.e., Regards Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr
- [Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-sidrops-bgpsec-rol… Francis Dupont
- Re: [Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-sidrops-bgpsec… Brian Weis (bew)
- Re: [Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-sidrops-bgpsec… Alissa Cooper