Re: [Gen-art] [MBONED] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-mboned-driad-amt-discovery-09

Dan Romascanu <dromasca@gmail.com> Tue, 03 December 2019 20:31 UTC

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In-Reply-To: <A8D2527F-67D2-4CB4-B967-13548D28DD56@akamai.com>
From: Dan Romascanu <dromasca@gmail.com>
Date: Tue, 3 Dec 2019 22:31:37 +0200
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To: "Holland, Jake" <jholland@akamai.com>
Cc: "gen-art@ietf.org" <gen-art@ietf.org>, "draft-ietf-mboned-driad-amt-discovery.all@ietf.org" <draft-ietf-mboned-driad-amt-discovery.all@ietf.org>, "last-call@ietf.org" <last-call@ietf.org>, "mboned@ietf.org" <mboned@ietf.org>
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Subject: Re: [Gen-art] [MBONED] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-mboned-driad-amt-discovery-09
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Hi Jake,

Thanks for addressing these issues.

No further comments.

Regards,

Dan


On Tue, Dec 3, 2019 at 6:57 PM Holland, Jake <jholland@akamai.com>; wrote:

> Hi Dan,
>
> ´╗┐On 2019-11-28, 07:22, "Dan Romascanu via Datatracker" <noreply@ietf.org>;
> wrote:
> > Nits/editorial comments:
> > 1. The reading of 2.4.1 and 2.4.3 seemed to me confusing. 2.4.1 speaks
> about
> > 'establishing' a connection while 2.4.3 speaks about 'completing' a
> connection.
> > Are the two terms equivalent? If so, I would prefer to use only one of
> them, if
> > not, some more clarification is necessary.
>
> Good point, thanks.  I've provisionally changed my local copy to use
> "established", which I think addresses this comment:
>
> OLD:
>    o  An AMT connection is completed successfully when the gateway
>       receives from a newly discovered relay a valid Membership Query
>
> NEW:
>    o  An AMT connection is established successfully when the gateway
>       receives from a newly discovered relay a valid Membership Query
>
> > 2. The term 'tier 3 ISP' used in Section 3.1.1 is an 'industry term'
> that needs
> > to be defined, either by reference or in text.
>
> I've removed the "Tier 3" and expanded the first use to "Internet Service
> Provider" (2nd use, not including section title).  I think the "Tier 3"
> was non-essential.
>
> OLD:
> 3.1.1.  Tier 3 ISP
>
>    One example of a receiving network is an ISP that offers multicast
>    ingest services to its subscribers, illustrated in Figure 3.
>
> NEW:
> 3.1.1.  Internet Service Provider
>
>    One example of a receiving network is an Internet Service Provider
>    (ISP) that offers multicast ingest services to its subscribers,
>    illustrated in Figure 3.
>
> Thanks for pointing out the nits, and please let me know if there's
> anything else you think needs changing.
>
> Thanks and regards,
> Jake
>
>
>