Re: [Gen-art] [Dots] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-dots-use-cases-23

Thanks med for the feed back. All documents are now referenced as
informative. If the RFC editor expresses concerns we will update that.

Thanks!
Yours,
Daniel

On Wed, Jun 10, 2020 at 12:21 PM <mohamed.boucadair@orange.com> wrote:

> Dear Elwyn,
>
> One quick comment about:
>
> > s7:  This is an informational document and, as such, cannot have
> > normative
> > references.  Please combine all references into one refererences
> > section.
>
> If we refer to the IESG statement available at:
> https://ietf.org/about/groups/iesg/statements/normative-informative-references/,
> we can read the following:
>
> "Note 3: The normative/informative distinction is relevant in any document
> that amounts to a technical specification, even if its intended status is
> Experimental or Informational."
>
> So, that's fine to have a normative ref section (if justified) for this
> document.
>
> That's said, I do personally think that at least [RFC8782][RFC8783] have
> to be moved as Informative... but not for the reasons mentioned in the
> review..
>
> Cheers,
> Med
>
> > -----Message d'origine-----
> > De : Dots [mailto:dots-bounces@ietf.org] De la part de Elwyn Davies
> > via Datatracker
> > Envoyé : mercredi 10 juin 2020 18:00
> > À : gen-art@ietf.org
> > Cc : last-call@ietf.org; draft-ietf-dots-use-cases.all@ietf.org;
> > dots@ietf.org
> > Objet : [Dots] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-dots-use-cases-23
> >
> > Reviewer: Elwyn Davies
> > Review result: Ready with Nits
> >
> > I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
> > Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
> > by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
> > like any other last call comments.
> >
> > For more information, please see the FAQ at
> >
> > <https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>.
> >
> > Document: draft-ietf-dots-use-cases-23
> > Reviewer: Elwyn Davies
> > Review Date: 2020-06-10
> > IETF LC End Date: 2020-06-11
> > IESG Telechat date: Not scheduled for a telechat
> >
> > Summary:
> > Ready wih some minor nits.
> >
> > Major issues:
> > None
> >
> > Minor issues:
> > None
> >
> > Nits/editorial comments:
> > s1, para 1: Just a thought:  might be worth adding to the end of this
> > para:
> > "and increase the time for deployment in a situation where speed is
> > often of
> > the essence".
> >
> > s1, last para: Suggest adding in reference to DOTS requirements doc
> > which is
> > referred to in s2: OLD:
> >    This document provides sample use cases that provided input for the
> >    design of the DOTS protocols [RFC8782][RFC8783].
> > NEW
> >    This document provides sample use cases that motivated the
> > requirements
> >    for the DOTS protocols [RFC8612] and provided input for the design
> > of
> >    those protocols [RFC8782][RFC8783].
> > ENDS
> >
> > s2: For more logical ordering, move the definition of DDos Mitigation
> > Service
> > Provider after definition of DDoS Mitigation Service.
> >
> > s2, DDoS Mitigation Service:
> > OLD:
> >       Service subscriptions usually
> >       involve Service Level Agreement (SLA) that have to be met.
> > NEW:
> >       Each service subscription usually
> >       involves a Service Level Agreement (SLA) that has to be met.
> > ENDS
> >
> > s3.1, para 1: The abbreviation ITP has already been defined so you
> > shouldn't
> > have a redefinition here.
> >
> > s3.1, para 7: s/thought different/though different/
> >
> > s3.1, 2nd set of bullets, that are below Fig 1: This woud be more
> > elegant using
> > (a), (b), etc as the bullet labels.
> >
> > s3.1: Comment (not being familiar with the DOTS proposals): The text
> > indicates
> > that the ITP mitigation effort is an all or nothing buisness.  Is this
> > always
> > the case or could the client request or the server provide a
> > proportional
> > response rather than an all or nothing response?
> >
> > s3.2, last sentence of 2nd para after Fig 2: s/These exact/The exact/
> >
> > s3.3, para 2: s/various information/various sets of information/
> >
> > s3.3, para after Figure 4: s/monitor various network traffic/monitor
> > various
> > aspects of the network traffic/.
> >
> > s3.3, 2nd para after Figure 4: s/it's/it is/
> >
> > s3.3, last five paras: Calling out a web interface specifically is
> > overly
> > specific.  Suggest adding 'for example'in at least one case or
> > changing it to
> > 'user interface'.
> >
> > s3.3, first para on page 11:
> > OLD:
> > to infer the DDoS Mitigation to elaborate and coordinate.
> > NEW:
> > to infer, elaborate and coordinate the appropriate DDoS Mitigation.
> > ENDS
> >
> > s3.3, 3rd and subsequent paras on page 11: The orchestrator appears to
> > change
> > from one DOTS server to a plurality at this point.  Please make it
> > clear
> > whether there is one or many.  If only one, then s/The orchestrator
> > DOTS
> > servers returns this information back/The orchestrator DOTS server
> > returns this
> > information/ and s/servers/server/ subsequently.
> >
> > s3.3, last para s/like  requesting/such as requesting/
> >
> > s7:  This is an informational document and, as such, cannot have
> > normative
> > references.  Please combine all references into one refererences
> > section.
> >
> >
> >
> > _______________________________________________
> > Dots mailing list
> > Dots@ietf.org
> > https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/dots
>
>
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-- 
Daniel Migault
Ericsson