Re: [Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-bfd-multipoint-16.txt

Greg Mirsky <gregimirsky@gmail.com> Wed, 23 May 2018 20:46 UTC

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From: Greg Mirsky <gregimirsky@gmail.com>
Date: Wed, 23 May 2018 13:45:47 -0700
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To: Francis Dupont <Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr>
Cc: gen-art@ietf.org, draft-ietf-bfd-multipoint.all@ietf.org, rtg-bfd@ietf.org, "Bocci, Matthew (Nokia - GB)" <matthew.bocci@nokia.com>
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Subject: Re: [Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-bfd-multipoint-16.txt
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Hi Francis,
thank you for the thorough review and very helpful comments. I've accepted
all and updated the working version of the draft. Appreciate if you let me
know whether all of your comments have been addressed. Attached please find
diff to the working version and the working version itself.

Regards,
Greg

On Wed, May 23, 2018 at 6:18 AM, Francis Dupont <Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr>;
wrote:

> I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
> Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
> by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
> like any other last call comments.
>
> For more information, please see the FAQ at
>
> <https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>;.
>
> Document: draft-ietf-bfd-multipoint-16.txt
> Reviewer: Francis Dupont
> Review Date: 20180512
> IETF LC End Date: 20180521
> IESG Telechat date: unknown
>
> Summary: Ready with nits
>
> Major issues: None
>
> Minor issues: Missing keyword section (aka RFC 2119 section).
> BTW don't forget RFC8174 reference in this section...
>
> Nits/editorial comments:
>  - 1 page 3: i.e. -> i.e.,
>
>  - 4.4.1 page 5: example of MUST keyword use.
>
>  - 4.6 pages 6 and 7 ("is" is in page 6, "binding" in page 7):
>   "The minimum amount ... is binding to ..."
>   this wording is ambiguous because binding can be both a noun and a verb.
>   I suggest (for the first case) to add an article, e.g., "is the binding".
>
>  - 7 page 17: e.g. -> e.g.,
>
> Regards
>
> Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr
>