[Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-pim-reserved-bits-03
Peter Yee via Datatracker <noreply@ietf.org> Wed, 04 September 2019 06:36 UTC
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Date: Tue, 03 Sep 2019 23:36:27 -0700
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Subject: [Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-pim-reserved-bits-03
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Reviewer: Peter Yee Review result: Ready with Issues I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the IESG for the IETF Chair. Please treat these comments just like any other last call comments. For more information, please see the FAQ at <https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>. Document: draft-ietf-pim-reserved-bits-03 Reviewer: Peter Yee Review Date: 2019-09-03 IETF LC End Date: 2019-09-03 IESG Telechat date: Not scheduled for a telechat Summary: This document clarifies use of the PIM message header Reserved bits and adds subtypes in order to extend the type space to allow for future usage. The expansion seems straightforward and reasonable. [Ready with Issues.] Major issues: None Minor issues: Page 6, Table 1: I'm not a fan of this table format. It overloads the Name column header to describe both the Type and the Flag Bits. Perhaps something that looks like (use a fixed-width font to view this properly): Type Flag Bits Name Flag Bits Desc. Reference --------------------------------------------------------------------- 0 Hello [RFC3973][RFC7761] 0-7 Reserved ... 10 DF Election [RFC5015] 0-3 Reserved 4-7 Subtype It's a suggestion. I just don't find the overloaded column header and repeated data particularly appealing. It took me a few seconds to figure out what was being done here. As it is, Name isn't a terribly good way of describing the meaning of the Flag Bits. Just a suggestion. Nits/editorial comments: General: On all pages except the first, in the page header: change "Extention" to "Extension". Page 1, Abstract, 2nd and 3rd paragraphs: change all uses of RFCxxxx to RFC xxxx. The space-less form is only used for references within square brackets. Specific: Page 1, Abstract, 1st paragraph, 3rd sentence: change "per message" to "per-message". Page 3, Section 4, 1st paragraph, 3rd sentence: delete the comma. Page 3, Section 4, 2nd paragraph, 1st sentence: append a comma after "Bits". Change "well defined" to "well-defined". Page 4, Section 5, 1st sentence: change "pim" to "PIM". Page 5, Figure 3 caption: You've used "sub-type", "SubType", "Subtype" (from the revised IANA registry in Table 1) and here "Sub-Types". I'd suggest choosing one form and using it more consistently. Given the spacing requirements of the diagram, a hyphenated form would probably not be the optimal choice.
- [Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-p… Peter Yee via Datatracker
- Re: [Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ie… Alvaro Retana
- Re: [Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ie… Alissa Cooper