[Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-decade-problem-statement-05.txt

Francis Dupont <Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr> Sun, 26 February 2012 17:17 UTC

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From: Francis Dupont <Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr>
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Subject: [Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-decade-problem-statement-05.txt
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I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on 
Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at 
<http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments 
you may receive.

Document: draft-ietf-decade-problem-statement-05.txt
Reviewer: Francis Dupont
Review Date: 20120224
IETF LC End Date: 20120306
IESG Telechat date: unknown

Summary: Ready

Major issues: None


Minor issues: None

Nits/editorial comments:
 - 1 page 3: P2P and CDN are not in the list of well known abbrevs
  (IMHO for the first one because P2P means Point-to-Point too)
  so should be introduced at the first use in the body (and for CDN
  IMHO as soon as possible, this is why I put this in 1)

 - 1 page 3: in the networks. -> in networks. ?

 - 3.1 page 4: IMHO [Internet Study 2008/2009] should be removed to
  leave only the reference, i.e., [Internet_Study_2008-2009]

 - 4.1 page 7: 'nor can they manage access' is a wording which could
  (so should) be improved a bit, IMHO 'nor access' is enough

 - A pages 11 and 12: e.g. -> e.g., (also at end of line but it is
  in an appendix 'to be removed by the RFC Editor'...)

Regards 

Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr

PS: my dictionary dislikes 'infrastructural'?